Chronic disease is always surprising, it is associated with shock and strong stress. Some people find themselves in a new situation, while others break down. How you react to the information that you are chronically ill depends on your personality and how you have de alt with difficulties so far. How to come to terms with the awareness of an incurable, chronic disease?

Chronic diseasefrightens not only the prospect of losing he alth, but also the consequences that come with it. You are afraid that life will not be the same as it used to be. The most difficult situations to overcome are situations that remove from the existing social functions, which allowed to build one's own value and constituted the meaning of life. We cannot work (or not in the current dimension), despite the fact that it is our passion, fulfill ourselves in our profession. Sometimes, due to illness, you have to give up your hobby, practice your favorite sport, whatever relaxes you and gives you energy.

Chronic disease disrupts social roles

For a man, a personal tragedy is to fall out of the role of a person who cares for the well-being of the family, and thus provides them with a sense of security. For this reason, gentlemen may experience more frustration and anger than ladies. So they undertake various activities to keep in their current role despite everything. They want to show that they can do it. They do not agree that some duties should be taken over by their partner, they do not want to change the assigned roles.

In the case of women, the disease may limit fulfilling the role of a mother (organizing home life, caring for children, taking care of the emotional sphere in the family), but also lower the sense of femininity and attractiveness. This, in turn, intensifies the feeling of sadness, fear and depression.

Chronic disease: diagnosis, shock, displacement

If something unexpected falls on us, which disturbs the current order and peace, we first experience shock and disbelief. In the sense of a threat to our security, we turn on a defense mechanism called denial.

Often, patients do not allow them to realize that they have he alth problems, because it helps to reduce stress. But when the denial mechanism lasts a long time, problems arise, for example, patients begin to downplay their he alth. They grit their teeth, show no fear or suffering, do not want to talk to anyone, use support. They build a belief in themselvesthat they have to be strong, they have to deal with themselves. They want to keep a sense of their own independence and freedom.

However, illness often makes us dependent on other people to some extent and we lose our sense of freedom. It is important to give yourself the right to use the help and accept that we can handle it 70%, not 100%, that we may feel anxious.

Chronic disease causes a sense of isolation

The sick move away from people. Sometimes because of the fear that they will be rejected by family, friends and colleagues. Even if the environment does not change its attitude towards them, they themselves often destroy existing relations. This is especially true for people suffering from chronic diseases associated with disability and change in appearance. They feel inferior (and they are often perceived this way), unattractive, unnecessary, hurt by fate, embarrassed, even unhappy.

The feeling of losing control over your own body, but also over your own life and the surrounding world, is a traumatic experience for many people. It depresses and frightens, which is why the sick person becomes apathetic, irritable, unpleasant to the environment and limits contacts with people.

Diabetes stay at home because they are ashamed of injecting insulin, patients with irritable bowel syndrome are constrained by the need to use the toilet frequently. It is similar with psoriasis sufferers and people who lose their hair due to hormonal disorders. The disease can isolate you even when you do not see its effects yet. This applies, for example, to people suffering from rheumatoid arthritis in the early stages.

Chronic disease causes suppression of needs

Sometimes withdrawal is due to the fact that loved ones want to surround the patient with too much help, which overwhelms him. This is not what I expect. He wants to talk about his emotions: fear, shame, sometimes death, but he doesn't admit it.

Masking feelingsis a defense mechanism that may result from the patient's fear, helplessness, and often the fear of being misunderstood. Sometimes it results from the need for emotional protection of my relatives: "I will not talk about it, because I will worry them additionally, and they still have so much trouble with me". By suppressing emotions, they deepen stress, which wreaks havoc on the psyche and often aggravates the symptoms of the disease.

Others blame everyone for being sick. Instead of clearly expressing their needs, they want others to understand what they expect. They are bitter, demanding, expect interest, but do not take the initiative themselves. This frustrates both the patient and those around him. Family and friends can not stand it in the end and is bornconflict. Then the sick confirm their negative thoughts: nobody is interested in me, I am alone because I am ill.

A vicious circle arises. It may be a question of personality - sometimes he althy people, e.g. those with low self-esteem, shy, behave in the same way. It is important toaccept living with a diseaseand learn to live with it. Everyone goes through it differently. Allowing yourself to experience and show unpleasant emotions can help in this process. But also enjoying small successes, participating in everyday life as best you can, and enjoying yourself.

Chronic disease changes the approach to life

It is important to care for self-esteem and dignity, to make sense of (perhaps a new one) disease, suffering (strengthens the will to live), to verify existing goals and, perhaps, to set them up again. Feeling in control of your life greatly reduces stress. The news of the disease is a kind of stop light - it tells us to stop. What we do next depends largely on our personality, beliefs and past experiences.

Illness will either open your eyes to other possibilities or cover them so that you cannot see anything. People who are shy, insecure, have problems with building relationships in the family and are not professionally fulfilled, can do worse. A cheerful person who has managed a lot in life often treats illness as a difficult challenge that must be faced. He sees the glass half full, so he doesn't break down but looks for ways out. He has a background that he can reach. His attitude is characterized by the sentence: "I will overcome it. I have a good husband / wife, children, professional successes". You have to realistically assess the situation and start acting.

Chronic disease: time is needed

It is natural that before the patient gets used to the disease and its limitations (acceptance phase), he or she experiences many negative emotions (fear, anxiety, anger, irritation, negation). Both the patients themselves and their relatives must accept the fact that everyone adjusts to living with the disease differently and at the right time. After a period of rebellion, many people reevaluate their lives and open their eyes to the world. Only now do they see what really matters.

They give up the pursuit of material goods and a career, and focus on building family and social ties, and on spiritual life. They begin to appreciate family, friends and… he alth. They find pleasure in being with people, develop their interests, live life to the fullest.

"Zdrowie" monthly

Also read:

  • 9 steps to learn to live with a chronic disease

Category:

Psychiatry