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I have one day like this in my memory. I am standing in the street with my friend from school. I already wear a headscarf then. We talk, we laugh. Suddenly her mother comes up to us. He grabs her hand, pulls her away from me and says, "Get away from her or you will get infected." Was I sorry? How hell … - remembers Aleksandra, the heroine of the book “Alopecjanki. Stories of bald women ", Harde Publishing House, 2022.
Bald head wearing a helmet
- It started when I was 11 years old. The hairdresser noticed the first bald cake. We had no idea what it was. I never thought it was the beginning of my life with alopecia areata. A dermatologist in my hometown immediately said it was AA. I got magic lotions, strange shampoos, conditioners, but nothing helped. I lost all my hair in two months.
Ola comes from a small town near Zielona Góra.
- In a city like this, it is bad to tolerate someone who deviates from the norm. I didn't want to shock me with the lack of hair at school. I had a few pods and bald patties on my head.
She started to walk in handkerchiefs. Grandma made them for her.
- The peers were cruel. They teased me all the time. When I started wearing the wig, it was even worse. They called her "the helmet" and I was called "bald". They blackmailed me that if I didn't do something, they would pull her off. And it really happened once. During a break, my friend suddenly tore my wig off my head and started throwing it across the corridor.
- For six years of elementary school, I had one friend, Karina. She was my bodyguard, she protected me from harassment. When she saw the girl writing offensive slogans about me on the school wall, she walked over to her and knocked her down. We are friends with Karina to this day, although we do not live in the same city.
Mercedes on head
- I felt bad with the bald head. For many years I was very embarrassed. Even with a handkerchief or a wig on my head, I had the impression that I was standing naked in front of people. When I started my adventure with wigs, the market was mostly synthetic. They cost a fortune and were nasty. My parents paid me a thousand for a wigzlotys, today similar, of poor quality, costs up to 300 zlotys.
After returning home, I overheard my parents' conversation. Dad whined, "What have we done the best? What did we buy? The kid looks like a bogeyman in that. " After all, he said he'd rather me walk with that bald head than in that wretched wig. How did I feel when I put it on for the first time? At first it was a foreign body, something that wasn't mine. I had slight burns and scratches. I quickly accepted that I was wearing a wig and that this was the only way I could hide my "beauty mankament".
Today Ola has three synthetic and two natural wigs. She bought the system she was using two years ago, before her wedding. She likes him very much. It is of great quality.
- Cost a fortune. Sometimes I laugh that I have a Mercedes on my head. You have to pay for good. But it's worth it!
High prices of natural hair systems are the hallmark of the wig industry. Synthetics can be purchased for as little as PLN 300-600, but their appearance leaves much to be desired. They are often uncomfortable and airtight. At first glance, you can see that you are wearing a wig. Hardly anyone realizes that a wig is a big expense. Natural hair systems reach dizzying prices of up to PLN 20-25 thousand.
People with alopecia areata may apply for a partial reimbursement of wig costs from the National He alth Fund. It is now PLN 250, but we are talking only about synthetic hair. For comparison, a wig in Germany costs around 2,400 euros. You can count on a refund of around € 1,600.
In Poland, it happens that you have to fight a doctor to get a wig prescription. Women alopecia alarm that doctors sometimes try to convince them that only women with oncological diseases are en titled to a prescription wig.
- Sometimes I laugh that I go from the extreme to the extreme. When you get sick, you think you are the only one like that in the world. Man is lost, he does not know which way to go, what to do, how to continue functioning. Today it's much easier because there is the internet, Facebook and support groups that keep you from feeling alone. A.A. is being talked about louder and louder, although the bald head is still associated with cancer. It annoys me. When I answer the question of whether it's cancer again, I feel angry.
- How did your parents support you?
- They did what they could. They tried. Now I know thatI would feel much better if they didn't hide my disease so much. Unknowingly, they made me totally disapprove of myself. I couldn't talk about my illness because my mother shut me up about it. I guess that's why I was such an easy victim to those bastards at school.
If I were to openly say what's wrong with me, why don't I have hair, my peers might not be attacking me so much. In retrospect, I think the worst thing is pity. Parents felt sorry for their sick child. And I needed a kick in the ass, tasks to be done, goals to be achieved. I would clot down, feel like a normal human being. I did not overcome obstacles, I learned that I deserve pity.
When Aleksandra was 16, her illness cleared for almost two years.
- I celebrated my 18th birthday with my hair on my head. And then? Then there was a repetition of the entertainment. At that time, I left my hometown. You could say that, in a way, I ran away. When I came back for weekends or holidays and went out with my mother, I acted like a wild boar. I was convinced that everyone was pointing their fingers at me, saying: "Oh, that's the bald Olka, the one who was sick." Each time I was looking forward to leaving. I wanted to be there again, where everyone always knew me as Olka with my hair.
Do you have cancer?
The second time my hair fell out, I graduated from hairdressing school. I've already worked in the salon. The most difficult moments? Customer comments. They asked: "Ola, why is your hair thinning?", "Are you sick?" "Do you have cancer?" "Are you pulling your hair out on purpose?" I couldn't take it. I wanted to drop everything, lock myself in my apartment. Get away from the world.
The kick in the ass, which I mentioned earlier, was given by my fiancé, my current husband.
- Ola, no you can't do that. Don't close in on yourself. You have to live, otherwise you will get depressed - said Rafał. He even went to my boss, talked, explained what was happening to me.
- She shaved my head. The next day I came to work in a wig. When I put it on, the stone fell from my heart. I felt that I could finally live. I don't have to hide, explain these cakes, answer these stupid, nosy questions. And deep down … I felt relieved that I don't have that damn hair anymore, that I don't have to fix it, bother with it, pick it up from the floor.
I don't need any returns
- Such a big breakthrough took place on October 312022. It was the first time that I showed up on social media without my hair. I started making videos on YouTube, I created my Hair.less channel. Even the city I often went out with a bald head. The second time I lost my hair, I said to myself "enough." End of treatment, miracle fluids, magic rubs. I counted how much money my mother and I spent for four years on trips to Warsaw, hotels, visits to renowned clinics. It was PLN 120,000. For this money, I could have some really great systems. I told my mother that I didn't want to tire anymore. Now I'm at ease. Peace of mind is most important. As soon as I see a slight regrowth on my head or a few eyebrows, I shave them straight away. I have permanent makeup, great hair. I don't want to live with illusory hope and the past. I dictate the rules. I have no problem calling myself "bald".
She met Rafał at the concert.
- Rafał is the perfect husband. This is what I dreamed of. I have great support in him. He met me when I still had my hair. He realized very quickly that something was up. Every now and then I corrected something on my head, used up tons of hairspray, when getting out of the car I held my hair as if it were a wig. My mom advised me not to tell him anything, but I didn't want to hide anything. I did it two weeks after we became a couple.
He did not survive the shock, he did not run away. He was glad that I told him about it at the very beginning. He said he did not know how he would react if I only told him after a long time. Maybe he would leave me because he would think I don't trust him? He would feel cheated in some way. When I was losing my hair, he was helpless, he had no idea how to help me. But he took it on his chest and was very supportive of me.
Twenty years of my life have been wasted
When Ola started recording videos on YouTube, she uploaded her photos to the web and received more and more offers to participate in sessions. The producers of the "Top Model" program spotted her and invited her to participate in the casting.
- I showed in this program that there are no taboos. I did not move on to the next stage, because one of the jurors - Marcin Tyszka - said that I am "too fat" and I should work on myself a little more, and he does not want to take me "out of pity". When I look at the adventure with "Top Model" in retrospect, I think that such programs are not for me. I wouldn't feel like a fish in water.
When I posted my first videos online, I was afraid of the reaction.Unnecessarily. It turned out that many people support me a lot. Even those who were cruel to me in my childhood. They started apologizing to me, congratulating me for being brave, for having so much strength in me.
My motto? "My femininity is a smile, confidence, grace, and my hair is just an accessory." I made them up myself. As soon as I get a dimple, I repeat these words to myself. I take a deep breath, flip the reset button, and go back to what is here and now.
- Zuzanna: "I don't think that suffering ennobles"
- Kasia: "This is me, this is my hair. I'm awesome. No more complexes! "
- Agata: "I felt relieved when my last eyelash fell out"
- Magdalena: There was no word "bald" in my dictionary
Marcelina Dzięciołowska Editor for many years associated with the medical industry. He specializes in he alth and an active lifestyle. A private passion for psychology inspires her to take up difficult topics in this field. Author of a series of interviews in the field of psycho-oncology, the aim of which is to build awareness and break stereotypes about cancer. He believes that the right mental attitude can work wonders, therefore he promotes professional knowledge based on consultations with specialists.