Joy is a positive emotion caused by something pleasant. It is accompanied by a certain kind of arousal - including a sense of contentment, satisfaction, sometimes even euphoria. As children, we can experience joy, quite intensely feeling it with our whole body and responding spontaneously, for example with laughter, rich gestures or shouts. Over the years, undergoing various types of social training, we lose this spontaneity to some extent.
Contents:
- What is joy?
- Why do we need joy?
- How to enjoy life?
What is joy?
Joyis an emotion that we give less and less opportunity to reveal over the years. Why, if it is natural to strive for joy and positive feelings associated with it? Because of having a voice in some way limiting beliefs, family and cultural patterns, and experiences that teach us to ignore or suppress our emotions. Let's imagine a person working in a responsible position who manages a large team. He sees himself as a stable, serious and responsible person, is convinced that a person with such qualities does not show excessive joy and is far from spontaneous or enthusiastic reactions. We can guess that the effects of such a strategy will have negative consequences.
We can list situations in which we suppress joy endlessly, but remember that nature hates emptiness, so instead of suppressed positive emotions there are substitutes that can fill this lack, e.g. stimulants, excess eating or destructive, risky habits. This is reinforced by the fact that it is easier for us to experience pleasure than joy.
Pleasure is a state of satisfying the needs and senses of a physiological origin, it is easy to evoke and identify, and it does not require a lot of self-insight. Joy, as an emotion, is a more complex, deep phenomenon. Why? Created, among others by the media, the belief that one should be optimistic and that sadness is a sign of failure does not make it easier to experience either sadness or joy. It is worth strengthening the ability to notice the good in life, to appreciate what you have and not to pay too much attention to what we have no influence on. However, mock joy, concealing smilefrustration and tears is not the solution. We cannot fully feel joy without fully feeling sad or angry.
Conscious experiencing of all emotions and the contrasts between them make life and our development complete.
Yes, you can, and sometimes even have to, premeditated learning to experience joy, just as we learned not to feel joy as a result of various socialization processes, but it is good to remember why we undertake some activity. There is a difference between making a conscious decision "I will smile more because it serves me, because I want to check if it will change something" and "I smile because everyone does it because the environment expects me to do so" or "I smile because I pretend not to. I'm sad ".
When we begin to be ready to feel joy, our sensitivity to feeling emotions in general increases. This helps you get to know your real self - areas that would be good to work on and those that should be strengthened. It is worth increasing the awareness of experiencing joy and looking for opportunities to associate with this emotion. With time, suppressing joy or pretending to be it, we forget what really is its source for us. Bearing in mind that some people have a relative ease of enjoying life, while others have difficulty in this area for various reasons, it is worth spending some time and effort on "joy training".
Why do we need joy?
Joy, like other emotions, is a tool that nature has endowed us with. It is she who makes life fuller. Joy and its positive effects give us information about what is safe, beneficial, pleasant and important for us. Experiencing joy together or experiencing it when the stimulus is the other person supports establishing and maintaining relationships. Among other things, it strengthens, thanks to it we have strength, we are ready to explore and cross borders. Joy and the physiological response that comes with it gives us the opportunity to regenerate.
When is joy no longer he althy?
Balance in the sphere of emotions is an indicator of satisfaction or fullness of life, but also of he alth as such. What might be disturbing from a he alth point of view is lack of joy, understood as a tendency to feel sad or emotional numbness, but also excess joy, i.e. a state of prolonged euphoria. While the prolonged experience of sadness or apathy and the discomfort associated with it may induce a psychologist or psychiatrist to seek help, it is not natural euphoric states that may encourage them to be maintained. A person experiencing mania, which is a mental disorder from the usually affective groupdescribes them as something pleasant. Sustained joy, the energy that accompanies it, and the willingness to act are seemingly a state that may be desirable and should not be fought against. However, the scale of destruction brought about by a prolonged state of mania often, despite positive feelings, ruins many areas of life. Ease of undertaking risky behaviors, believing that these actions will be successful, etc., may pose a threat to the person experiencing mania, but also to their immediate environment. It is also worth remembering that the disorder is often accompanied by excessive irritability, easy frustration and, as a result, anger attacks. It is worth supporting the conscious experience of joy, working on a happy mood, but when the feeling of joy or euphoria begins to negatively affect our life, it is a good idea to consult a psychologist or psychiatrist.
It should also be remembered that taking shortcuts is often dangerous, and the desire to maintain a state of joy for longer or to cause it on demand can get involved in addiction. The use of psychoactive substances, engaging in destructive behavior that is to cause a state of euphoria is a temptation whose dangers do not need to be explained. When chemicals or risky behavior become the main source of joy, it is worth taking a look at the psychologist's office.
ImportantWhat are emotions?
Emotions are tools that are designed to support our ability to survive. The intensity and speed with which they appear are to help us make decisions in an emergency situation almost without reflection. Getting carried away in today's world is not always a beneficial strategy, but for many years, in a life-threatening situation, it played an important role in the survival of our species. Usually, when acting under the influence of emotions, it is accompanied by a strong sense of rightness, a narrowing of perspective, and a high degree of purposefulness. It should also be remembered that emotions are involved in making most of the decisions, which is often used by, among others, advertising industry.
Emotion and everything related to it usually precedes thought, therefore working on emotional control has different results. What is definitely worth developing in the emotional area is expanding awareness of what we feel, why we feel something and what action we take in relation to it.
How to enjoy life?
You can learn to experience or, if you prefer, to enjoy life. As with any science, with joy, different people have different ease in developing this area, possible progress may comeat a different pace. Now that we've established that it's not about ignoring sadness or anger, but about strengthening those areas of life that give us joy, there are some practical ways to learn.
1. Observe yourself
Take a look at your beliefs about joy, and the message about joy that comes from your culture and family home.
2. Appreciation and a high bar
Check where your bar is set. Excessive ambition or expectations that are far from reality are often what makes it difficult for us to feel joy: "I can't be happy until I get promoted", "maybe I have a loving husband, but we don't live in the house I dreamed of" etc. Joy training begin by practicing gratitude for what has happened, what we have already achieved, what we have already experienced. At the end of the week, it is worth creating a list of things or experiences for which we are grateful, the view of the details written on a piece of paper will make it easier for us to realize how many reasons for joy we already have. It is not about getting rid of ambition, but about balancing the goal with the part of the road already won. Check if moving the bar higher and higher each time you reach a certain threshold, serves your joy and a sense of fulfillment.
3. Mindfulness practice
What often takes away joy is over-analyzing what has already been or is likely to be. It's worth taking the time to look at the present, and mindfulness techniques will be of great help in that.
4. Book time for little pleasures
It is true that pleasure is not joy, but it can be extremely helpful in the initial stage of working on joy. Reserve just a few minutes for yourself each day. Spend this time on something you enjoy or think might do. Delicious tea drunk in peace and quiet, a favorite song that reminds you of a holiday trip, a short movie of your favorite satirist making you cry are simple and accessible ways to provide yourself with a little positive feeling. Pleasant, joyful moments bring joy closer.
A body that is tired of duties and forced to be excessively active experiences joy less frequently. Joy lies in all of us, so it is worth giving the body and mind a bit of respite and the possibility of regeneration.
5. "I don't remember what made me happy"
Try to remember your favorite childhood games. Was it outdoor games related to movement, competition, or maybe cooperation? Is your favorite funit involved the imagination, the need to construct, or rather communing with peers. Once you remember, look for an activity that could now relate to your joyful childhood experiences.
6. Try new things, experiment
You used to enjoy painting, but it's not like that anymore? So try something new. Sign up for a dance class, try swimming lessons or baking cakes. There are many possibilities and not all of them require money or a lot of time. Be open to new experiences and try on new passions like new T-shirts until you find something that suits you best at this stage of your life. The very search for new activities can bring a lot of joy.
7. Take care of physical activity
Many studies confirm the fact that regular physical activity, sports even at a recreational level, helps to cope with a depressed mood. When thinking about joy training, it is worth taking care of regular movement, which will not only stimulate the body to produce more endorphins, but also reduce emotional tension. Regular exercise brings long-term benefits in the psychophysical area. It strengthens the ability to feel positive emotions and to regain balance after experiencing anger or sadness. Even one-time physical activity is conducive to causing joy or even euphoria, pleasant arousal caused in this way is one of the constructive methods of influencing emotions and mood. It is worth trying various activities and sports disciplines to see which is the most effective for us.
8. Focus on the body
Try to do a little experiment, look at how your body feels when you feel joy. Check where you can feel it in your body, whether it is rapid breathing, "butterflies in your stomach", or maybe a giggle that is difficult to control. Try to answer the question: "How does he know when he feels joy? What tells me what he is feeling is euphoria, satisfaction, pleasure" etc.? What thoughts come then? What behaviors accompany this particular emotion? Not only can such observation increase our awareness of ourselves, but it will also make it easier for our head and body to move towards joy and explore its types.
Worth knowingIf, despite your own attempts to work on joy, the effects are not noticeable or there are problems in the area of emotions at all, it is worth using the support of a specialist. Often times, a psychologist can be helpful in looking at and working through the causes of emotional problems.