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Sadness is one of the basic emotional states. Together with joy, fear and anger, they form the backbone of the world of human emotions. Often, experiencing sadness is associated with characteristic body sensations, behaviors, or thoughts. We associate it with a feeling of depression, a lack of willingness to be active, and withdrawal from social life. It also happens that the intensity with which we feel sadness turns into physical ailments of a psychosomatic nature.

Sadness- when we experience it, it is usually accompanied by many unpleasant feelings, often the reasons for sadness are situations that we would not like to experience, so it seems natural to try to avoid or ignore him. Meanwhile, the natural counterbalance to sadness is joy, so desired in our times. It is good to be happy and full of energy. The world created by the media and rapidly changing cultural norms favor joy, and the pursuit of it becomes a priority. Then feeling joy becomes "duty" and sadness is treated in terms of failure. We often come to the conclusion that if we do not feel happiness, we probably have a problem, we are "spoiled", that the natural state should be joy and its emotions. Sometimes there is not much room left for sadness in our lives.

However, to be able to speak of inner balance, one must experience the full range of emotions and strengthen the ability to distinguish and name the states that "flow" through us. It is the ability to experience and experience all our emotions that makes our lives complete. It's worth your while to look at your own emotions. Check what we really feel, maybe what we used to call sadness is actually anger, and what we define as fear is really sadness. It often happens that in the course of development, we learn to respond to a given stimulus with an emotion that is not adequate, but for some reason, even though it does not really serve us, we do it. There are times when each of us has a hard time naming what we feel and the emotions we experience are complex. Part of the population has more difficulty regulating their emotions than others. Under their influence, they do and say things that negatively affect various areas of life, among other things, complicating relationships and limitingdaily activities, etc.

It is worth remembering that the world of emotions is complicated. It doesn't turn on one emotion at a time, usually what we experience is a compilation of different states of varying intensity.

Why do we experience sadness?

What usually causes us anxiety in connection with sadness are the thoughts accompanying it to a large extent: "How could this happen?", "Why did she do it", "Why did this happen to me?". Thoughts of this type are natural, but they are nevertheless a factor that "pulls us down", encourages reflection, dragging us into a spiral of sadness. Often then we try to give meaning to what happened, we do not always interpret other people's intentions correctly. Trying to analyze the causes and brooding over and over again distract us from what is here and now, what we might be doing for ourselves at that moment. Being in sadness can create the impression that it will never get any better. Reflection makes us experience sadness over and over again, and at the same time distances us from what our body is really trying to tell us. It is important to be able to experience sadness even with the thoughts that accompany it, but it is important that these thoughts are not the only expression of our sadness. It is one thing to plunge into sadness, and another thing to experience it carefully.

Usually at a given moment we have an emotion that dominates, which is a leading reaction to some specific factor. The easiest way to understand the mechanism of the formation and operation of emotions is when we compare it to a wave. The emotion appears as a reaction to the stimulus, its intensity increases, reaches its climax and begins to decline until it is relatively quiet. A consequence of this wave can be various types of behavior and accompanying thoughts. It sometimes happens that these behaviors and thoughts become the stimulus to trigger another wave. It is important to remember that neither joy nor sadness can last indefinitely in maximum intensity. This can be valuable information, especially for those who feel that their grief is so great it will never go away, but also a cold shower for those who are trying to live in constant, overwhelming joy.

What does sadness give us?

It is extremely difficult to feel joy without feeling sad. It is these contrasts that make our mental life harmonious. It is worth developing an openness to what we experience and what actually happens to us. It is sadness that signals from our body that something is wrong, that it is worth changing something. Perhaps the relationship we are in is going in the wrong direction, the work to which we devote so much energy and time is overly stimulating and should be balanced by a longer recovery time.Or maybe the balance between work and private life is seriously shaken, and the sadness that accompanies it, without introducing real changes, does not want to disappear. Ignoring this warning signal, which is a gift from mother nature, does not serve us.

We often treat sadness as an expression of our weakness, a defect, a signal that there is something wrong with us. We forget that sadness can be valuable information, not an obstacle in achieving our goals.

Sadness is often a reaction of our body not only to excessive overload, but also disease. It is worth becoming an inspiration to slow down the pace, take care of yourself and your he alth, and look at the needs that should be met. Our well-being provides us with a lot of valuable information, but it is up to us whether we read it properly and how we react to it. Therefore, the next time, suddenly, without warning, sadness appears, I encourage you to consciously stay in this sadness for a moment and try to discover what it tells us, what is behind it.

It's not about over-celebrating sadness, but accepting that it is there, being in it for a while and trying to discover what is behind this sadness. There is no point in deluding ourselves that as a result of some training or therapy, it will be possible to control every emotion and every reaction to it. Usually, excessive disciplining of emotions ends with cutting them off, and this has little to do with composure and harmony. However, it is worth spending a bit of effort to experience and react to different states more consciously, while accepting the natural emotional rhythm we experience.

How to deal with sadness?

Each of us experiences sadness in a different way, makes us sad and reacts differently to it. You can say that as many people, so many ways, so it is worth trying a few of them before we find something that suits us and our needs. Pretending that sadness does not exist is not a cure for joy. It is worth staying in sadness for a while, looking at it and answering a few questions:

  • What is this sadness about?
  • Where in the body feels that what we are experiencing is sadness?
  • What is the reason for this sadness?
  • What do I need in this situation?
  • What would be helpful for me now?

It's not about basking in your sadness excessively or constantly brooding over and winding the spiral of misfortune. But it's about allowing yourself to experience this emotion. When we try to consciously approach the sadness we feel, it will be easier for us to regain balance. Sadness may be caused by a specific event, e.g. the loss of a loved one, difficultrelationship or he alth problems, then allowing yourself to experience it allows you to experience mourning or a sense of loss. Sadness is often valuable information that our body gives us. Experiencing sadness "for no reason" usually is not without a reason. For too long neglecting one's needs, exposing the body to chronic stress or stuck in a difficult relationship, it often becomes sad after some time. Grief is a warning light that should not be suppressed or ignored. The way to balance your emotions is not to pretend you are not sad, but to listen to and respond to the information that sadness brings, and to take care of the space in your life that has used sadness as a messenger.

Strengthening the ability to consciously feel sad rather than dwell on a story related to a specific sadness can help reduce the fear of feeling sad as such.

Sadness is an emotion that affects our body

It cannot be denied that there is also a strong interaction between the emotion and the body. Our posture (sunken chest, lowered shoulders, etc.), tone of voice and facial expressions are an expression of the sadness we experience. Reading emotional cues can be difficult, and you may find it easier to spot symptoms flowing from your body. Therefore, it is worth taking a look at your emotions when:

  • strange, hard-to-identify pains appear;
  • our attitude starts to be different than usual;
  • slow movements, avoiding activity;
  • lack of appetite or excessive appetite;
  • crying or blocking against crying appears more often than usual, fear that if we allow ourselves to tear, we will not be able to stop them;
  • lack of energy, prolonged fatigue for no apparent reason, etc.

Fortunately, the relationship between the body and emotions works as a feedback loop, so working with the body, movement therapy, etc. can be one of the ways to regain balance.

Being mindful of your own sadness is helpful, but it is worthwhile to look at your joy for balance. Because once we experience the sadness and "do the homework" it has been for us, it can be helpful to strengthen those areas that give us a sense of happiness. It is about finding true sources of joy after experiencing sadness, not pretending that you don't feel sad by covering it with joy. I encourage you to check what gives us pleasure, what fosters a feeling of relief and peace, and what makes us feel euphoric. It may turn out that we have not consciously felt joy for so long that the answers to these questions are difficult. Then I encourage youfor experimenting and your own research. You may find that the company of friends used to be a source of joy, but now it can be exercise or regular meditation. There are many ways to rebuild the balance after experiencing sadness, and it is worth creating your own toolbox for your own use.

Important

Sadness and depression

Temporary depressed mood, sadness that comes and goes is a natural experience of every human being. The sadness that appears as a consequence of a specific event, e.g. loss of a loved one, separation, etc. is an adequate response of the body and should not worry us about it. However, when this condition stretches over time, we cannot recover, or it seems that it has appeared for no apparent reason, it is worth consulting a specialist. When it is difficult to regain balance using methods that until recently departed, the impression appears that the depressed mood has always been with us or will last forever, a visit to a psychologist may be helpful. Sadness is not the same as depression, but when you are under the influence of strong emotions, it is difficult to have a clear view of the situation. Therefore, talking to a psychologist, therapist or psychiatrist may help to rule out the disease, facilitate recovery and examine the mechanisms that accompany sadness.

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Category:

Psychology