Many are still looking for her, and those who find her try not to lose this feeling, because each of us wants to be loved. Love hides many secrets, which is why poets, therapists, representatives of the world of science try to decipher them. On the occasion of Valentine's Day, with the help of experts in various fields, we decided to unravel a few mysteries related to love.

Is love just a chemical-biological reaction?

Everyone who has experienced love knows about the power of love, and many of these people value the power of love so much that they constantly chase it, changing the objects of their sighs. It is said that when you love someone, you love with your whole self, with every part of your body. If love absorbs us completely, what is its effect on our he alth?

The fact that we love is somewhat of a coincidence. Sounds brutal? From the perspective of a biological reaction, for two people to “sparkle”, many external stimuli are needed that trigger a series of processes inside the body. But the familiar mix of joy, excitement, and distraction, however, is due to neurotransmitters that are active when we fall in love.

But falling in love is just an introduction to love. It's a beginning so strong that scientists compare it to drugs.

Why is falling in love a drug?

We asked the expert Dr. Eng. Paweł Marciniak from the Institute of Experimental Biology of the University of Adam Mickiewicz.

When "falling in love", characteristic areas forming the so-called award arrangement. They are responsible, inter alia, for controlling behavior, and their activation leads to the feeling of pleasure. The main neurotransmitter in these areas is dopamine (one of the happiness hormones). Activation of the system is associated with the release of large amounts of this compound, which causes a feeling of pleasure and contentment.

Phenylethylamine (a neurotransmitter with its structure resembling amphetamine) is responsible for its activation, also causing euphoria. The reward system under physiological conditions is activated in situations of satisfying needs (e.g. hunger) or performing pleasant activities (e.g. eating sweets). In addition, this system is also activated by psychoactive substances, including drugs such as cocaine or heroin oralcohol causing euphoria.

So, since this euphoric state of "falling in love" is associated with the activation of the reward system (high dopamine concentration) and high phenylethylamine concentration, it can be assumed that it acts like a drug.

dr inż. Paweł Marciniak, scientist

Love as a remedy for stress and anxiety

Stress is an inseparable element of human life, but our body does not like it in its negative view. Long-term stress is particularly dangerous, as it "silently" contributes to the emergence of various diseases. Prof. Maciej Banach, cardiologist, head of the Department of Preventive Cardiology and Lipidology at the Medical University of Lodz, chairman of the Polish Lipidology Society, explains that "the very element associated with severe stress may directly contribute to other ailments."

- You may experience tightness in the chest, severe pain which may even cause heart rhythm disturbances, myocardial infarction, or transient ischemia. These are very dangerous conditions for he alth which, apart from a heart attack, can also cause a stroke. Even the detachment of a small atherosclerotic plaque in he althy people as a result of an increase in pressure, rapid heart rate, atrial fibrillation or various types of ventricular disorders, can lead to serious cardiovascular complications - explains the expert.

Scientists from the University of Arizona have proven that the mere "recall" in the mind of a loved one allows you to maintain an appropriate level of blood pressure during a stressful situation. The results of their analyzes confirm that our partner is to some extent a buffer that protects the body against strong stress.

Prof. Banach points out that "clear scientific evidence confirms that men in relationships live longer." - Being in a relationship and making love, having intercourse together, even when it comes to raising mutually different emotions, sometimes also negative ones, in the overall assessment causes an extension of life - she adds.

Some neurotransmitters stop working earlier and some stop working later. Dr. Paweł Marciniak points out that "when" falling in love "there is a significant change in the level of neurotransmitters in the brain, which quite precisely change over time". - First, a significantly increased level of the dopamine-related reward is recorded. It is she, along with another neurotransmitter, i.e. phenylethylamine, responsible for the initial attraction and euphoria in the relationship - explains the biologist.

What happens when the "pink glasses" fall off?

Another important element of falling in love is norepinephrine, which is responsible for"Increased level of metabolism and bursting energy". Dr. Marciniak explains that "this state lasts for several months, and after about two years, neurons in the brain adapt to high concentrations of phenylethylamine and dopamine". After this time, neuropeptides such as oxytocin, vasopressin and endorphins begin to dominate.

- Oxytocin produced in the hypothalamus is considered a sensitivity hormone. It is produced in response to touch or cuddling, also during sex, strengthens the bonds and relationships between partners, has a relaxing and analgesic effect. In turn, vasopressin, especially in men, is associated with the formation of a strong relationship in the relationship, the need to care for a partner, and thus regulates monogamous behavior. The decrease in the concentration of this hormone can lead to polygamous behavior. Endorphins (endogenous morphines) are responsible for well-being, happiness and safety. If their level does not rise in the relationship, the partners may become indifferent to each other - says the scientist.

For the love of falling in love one step?

According to the social psychologist prof. Katarzyna Popiołek from SWPS University, “true love gives us a sense of importance, that we have been chosen, that someone appreciates us, is with us and protects us. Love makes the world friendly, we see it in bright colors, we feel safe, it reduces our sense of fear. It also works preventively, because we do not experience much pain thanks to the constant support of the other person. Love gives you wings in every respect, both physically and mentally, improves well-being, gives life value and meaning, stimulates creativity - says the expert.

Love is a mature feeling that has many components such as trust, respect, and intimacy. We love consciously. When we move from being in love to love, we lose "chemistry" and with it our "rose-colored glasses". How to build a relationship when we no longer have such strong support from neurotransmitters? Prof. Popiołek emphasizes that "we must constantly try to get closer to each other, try to understand our partner better and better, show sensitivity to his feelings and emotions, surround him with tenderness, be able to reward, constantly build an intimate world, not forgetting the intellectual bond."

Do we have to love ourselves to love another person?

This is an individual matter, but we should start with liking ourselves, because when there is no self-acceptance, we activate many defensive mechanisms that definitely make life and love with others difficult. When we don't love ourselves, we carry our negative ones over and over againfeelings and doubts on the other person, we suspect him of bad intentions, we are unable to trust. Of course, a miracle can happen and we will love ourselves, thanks to the love of another person, we will gain confidence in this way, as well as faith in our own strength.

prof. Katarzyna Popiołek, social psychologist

The power of love in immunity

Positive emotions related to love can effectively protect us from various diseases. Endorphins increase the number of cells in the immune system called "natural killer" (NK) cells that are capable of destroying virus-infected cells and even cancer cells. Moreover, NK can regulate the involvement of other elements of the immune system by producing cytokines.

- Love is also conducive to increasing motivation and doing many things, often also for the sake of our he alth, because we want to live as long as possible and be attractive to our loved one. In two, it is easier to take care of yourself and eat properly, take up physical activity, give up the use of stimulants, so we draw from love as much as possible, also for our he alth - appeals prof. Maciej Banach.

This feeling is expressed not only in words. The physical dimension of love is touch, kisses, hugs, but also sex. According to a study by Wilkes University in Pennsylvania, people who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of immunoglobulin A (IgA), the antibodies responsible for the body's rapid response to infections. Moreover, regular sexual activity positively influences the vital processes that allow us to keep our body he althy.

Sex also helps us maintain the correct levels of hormones - estrogen and testosterone, but also reduce those that negatively affect our body, i.e. cortisol, also known as the stress hormone. Cortisol blocks the formation of lymphocytes and reduces their activity, which negatively affects our immune system.

Is the physical aspect of love necessary?

In the era of globalization, more and more people get to know each other via the Internet. Is it possible to fall in love during virtual meetings?

This is a kind of platonic love that has been talked about for ages and it is certainly possible, because the very feeling of deep, connecting feelings can give so much that the lack of sex does not devastate it, and maybe it the way strengthens. However, when we do not see each other directly, but only through a glass that can be turned off at any time, we do not have the opportunity to exchange natural behavior in everyday circumstances, we can quite freely create the image of ourselves and our partner.

There are people who only live like thislove, it is a matter of individual needs and possibilities. However, it is easy to fall into the trap of an illusion. It is most often sustained by both sides, saturated with a certain kind of game in which we want to show our best side, we react in the way desired by the other side, and this is how we shape a fairy-tale story, because the realities of everyday life do not have any influence here. Let us remember the letter love of Balzac and Mrs. Hańska, which was happier on paper than in life.

prof. Katarzyna Popiołek, social psychologist

Sex for love tastes better?

About whether sex for love is better than elation dictated by desire, we asked psychosexologist Michał Sawicki, who emphasizes that "we can say that sex related to love may differ from sex without commitment". - However, we are not able to indicate clearly which sexual activity is better. It would be too judgmental, because sexual fulfillment and satisfaction is an individual matter - adds the psychosexologist.

Michał Sawicki points out that "there are people who feel safe only with the person they love and are able to experience pleasure only with her."

- On the other side of the axis, we can indicate, for example, people who are ashamed of their sexual needs and fantasies and are able to implement them only with a stranger. There is a whole spectrum between these polar examples. Sexuality is an extremely interesting and, at the same time, very complex issue, so usually unambiguous answers are not possible. What is important from a therapeutic point of view is that the person feels comfortable with their sexuality, concludes the sexologist.

Diagnosis: sick with love

Stress and strong tension that often accompany it, which is the aftermath of, for example, a breakup or loss of a loved one, but also great emotions, can lead to other problems, e.g. cause broken heart syndrome (takotsubo, TTS).

Can Broken Heart Syndrome be life threatening?

According to prof. Maciej Banach "broken heart syndrome resembles a myocardial infarction, accompanied by chest pains, radiating to the arm and jaw, and gastritis appears. These characteristic changes are visible when performing an EKG test. "

- There is no doubt that this syndrome most often occurs after enormous stress, where the tip of the heart becomes immobilized, while the amygdala in the brain probably plays a key role, so in fact everything happens in our head. That is, it begins there and then affects otherscomponents of the body, and as it turns out, it is responsible for some disease states - emphasizes the cardiologist.

Pills for love?

Dr. Anders Sandberg of the University of Oxford conducted analyzes of "love pills" in which love will be locked in the future. We asked Dr. Paweł Marciniak about whether there will ever be a kind of "elixir of love".

- Assuming that the activation of neurohormonal changes when "falling in love" is related to pheromone communication, and each of us is slightly different, it will be difficult to develop a universal cocktail for everyone. At the moment, we are also not able to precisely deliver the right neurotransmitters to the right regions of the brain in the right concentration and at the right time. Of course, research on potential preparations aimed at e.g. increasing the concentration of oxytocin or using phenylethylamine derivatives, i.e. 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine, which is the active substance of drugs, is ongoing. Therefore, in the future, such preparations will probably be created on the condition that they prove to be safe, and their ethical use - Dr. Eng. Paweł Marciniak.

It's worth loving … for your own he alth

Regardless of whether or not love preparations are ever created, it is worth loving for your he alth. Love is a feeling that "gives you wings", and its positive effect on the human body has been scientifically proven. Valentine's Day is a good time to appreciate your partner, but often in the throes of many responsibilities, we forget that the value of this feeling should be appreciated throughout the year. After all, it is worth loving and being loved, also for the sake of he alth.

Can you care for love that connects two people through sex?

Sex has many functions. One of them is the multi-creating function, so of course building a feeling through sex is possible. Again, however, we must remember that each situation is individual. Not all intercourse will increase feelings and promote relationship building. We can compare it to eating dinner together. Such a meal and time spent together can bring us closer to each other.

But what is needed to achieve the goal? Certainly communication, conversations about the needs and preferences, respecting the boundaries of the other person, taking care of pleasure (including oneself) and a sense of comfort. Working with couples, we examine the sphere of intimacy and sexual activity in order to identify strengths and possible areas for work. Most often it turns out that we do not talk openly about sex. This makes it difficult to obtain mutual pleasure, and hence, sex does not fulfill its function optimallybond-forming.

Michał Sawicki, psychosexologist

Read other articles from theseries therefore:

  • in relation. Return after breakup. What should I think about if we are considering going back to an ex-partner?
  • in relation. A sociologist on pressure on relationships: Today it is more difficult for us in love than for our parents and grandparents

Category:

Psychology