- Anxiety: where does it come from?
- Anxiety and fear
- Anxiety and parents
- Anxiety: what are its effects?
Help the development of the site, sharing the article with friends!
Anxiety - where does it come from? It turns out that we are taught anxiety by our parents - for fear for our he alth and safety, when we are not yet able to take care of it ourselves. Learn more about the sources of anxiety and find out what the difference between anxiety and fear is.
Anxiety: where does it come from?
Fear , according to many psychologists, is implanted in a person at birth. The so-called birth injury is responsible for this. Imagine this nightmare situation: our body is flexed in all directions and our head is squashed as it pushes through the birth canal, until the bones of the skull shift.
Then we get wrapped in something rough like sandpaper that we've never touched. The whole body burns and it is either terribly cold or terribly hot. Our ears are bombarded with noise like we've never heard before and we can't break free from it. Our eyes are blinded by a prickly bright light that causes pain even when we close our eyelids.
Finally, we feel as if our body, which so far has been squeezed on all sides, is about to fall into pieces. It hurts. The torture goes on all the time, day and night. Psychologists call these experiences a birth trauma, and the strong unpleasant emotions that accompany them become the root cause of anxiety.
You could say that the first feelings a baby feels when he comes into the world are fear and fear. In order to reduce the trauma associated with birth in children, water births were invented, and after birth, the baby is tightly wrapped in diapers to keep it squeezed, just like in a mother's womb.
Anxiety and fear
Anxiety does not result from a threatening situation, so it is a result of what is going on in our head, therefore, having understood our fears, we can understand ourselves, our limitations. And then there is also the possibility of development and feeling full of life.
Here, however, an interesting question arises: if fear does not come from danger, but flows from the depths of our soul, why does this feeling even serve? Fear has an adaptive function - if we hadn't been afraid of dangers, we wouldn't have survived! But fear? It just overpowers us! When someone is afraid of public speaking or closed rooms, it only makes his life difficult.
When I look at a picture of a spider and I am afraid, I experience fear. After all, nothing is in danger, and yet I am afraid. Thisdistinguishes between fear and fear - I experience fear when something really threatens me - e.g. I see a car quickly approaching me. Fear, on the other hand, is the result of an imaginary threat that is not motivated in reality.
Anxiety and parents
Between the ages of one and three, this primal "fear of disintegration" evolves into a new form: it turns into a fear of separation from a parent, a fear of loneliness. This is due to an evolutionary background: in prehistoric times, a small child who was already moving independently was very easy prey. Distance from their parents exposed them to almost certain death. Therefore, evolution "instilled" in the child a fear that kept them close to the guardian, as if on a leash.
This fear manifests itself in children with whimpering when the parent, especially the mother, moves away. The child wants the parent to participate in all his games, cries when he is left with, for example, his aunt or kindergarten, he may even play around so that the parents are with him. Sometimes it is better to argue with a parent than to sit alone in a room. A derivative of the fear of loneliness is the fear of the darkness, falling asleep, and the desire to sleep in the parents' bed.
Anxiety: what are its effects?
If personality development is stunted, fear of loneliness can persist in the personality throughout life. Then we are afraid of independence, loneliness and independence. Mostly, however, development is going well and soon a new form of fear emerges - the fear of losing love.
The child is no longer afraid of losing the relationship with the caregiver, he begins to fear losing the "good relationship". This is a tremendous advance in your emotional life. The child begins to care for acceptance, approval and love, wants to maintain good relations with others, and not - as at the earlier stage - any relations.
If this fear dominates our lives, most of the things we will do - work, have children, earn money, engage in social activities, relationships, etc. - will be based on this basic desire: to gain acceptance of others.
"Zdrowie" monthly