Being able to express our emotions naturally and honestly is essential to our mental he alth. It's like giving each other light. When we know that we are loved, we love even more. Sometimes, however, we have trouble expressing our feelings. Holidays come with help: Valentine's Day, name day, birthday.

Lovedevoid of words and gestures, it resembles a plant kept in the dark. It does not bloom, does not bear fruit, and finally it withers. The love of another person is the strongest aphrodisiac. It awakens in us joy, willingness to live, and to reach peaks. Therefore, spontaneously showing what is happening in our hearts is a skill that is desirable but rare. When we stop being children, we begin to shamefully hide ourfeelingsand hide our faces under the masks, which we take off only in special cases.

Why are we hiding our emotions?

We value only one thing above the experience of pleasure and happiness: we want to avoid unpleasantness and disappointment at all costs. "Heart in hand" is an easy target for enemies. So we build a wall behind which we are safe, and then we think about a gate through which we can go out to other people. Sometimes, however, in the enthusiasm of building such a shelter, we forget about the door and what was meant to be they say, it becomes a prison. In fear of injury, we separate ourselves from both the enemy's deadly projectiles and from the life-giving arrows of Cupid. Traditions come to our rescue. They remind us of the existence of other people. We celebrate name days, birthdays and anniversaries. She felt honored, so that she would know that we remember her. The gifts given on these occasions are a proof of ouremotions , and the parties are an expression of gratitude. Tradition teaches us to show our heart to others. But are we always? When we start to treat a custom as a duty, it becomes an unbearable torture for us. "Kiss your aunt, today is her name day" - says mom. "But I was polite," replies the frightened child. He has just learned that a kiss is not a way to express his feelings, but an unpleasant necessity. It is possible that in the future, buying gifts before Christmas will depress them every year. expressing warm feelingscustoms of other nations, with the hope that they will allow us to express what we feel without falling into the old stiffness and routine. Can we do it?

A heart in an envelope - a way to express emotions

Valentine's Day is simply a business for some people, for others it is an opportunity to attract the attention of a selected person. They have made a tremendous career with us - already every second Pole participates in this celebration of love. It filled the empty space after the Kupala festival, and the wreaths launched on the Midsummer night were replaced with postcards with a heart. Young people want to have fun, love, seduce that day and will not give up their holiday anymore. Does Valentine's Day help us show our affection? If you listen to their followers, definitely yes. Jola Żak, a 22-year-old English studies student, says: “I love them. People think about loved ones. There is an occasion to give a gift, confess feelings. I hope that my boyfriend will surprise me, and I will pay back with something nice. "Not everyone is so enthusiastic about this custom." It's a celebration of young people. I have already won my love. I do not want to show my feelings only on this day, running around the shops behind a heart of chocolate "- says 42-year-old Janusz Bednarek, an entrepreneur from Warsaw. What is the reason for the popularity of the hearts sprinkled with glitter? In order for the traders' offer to be profitable, it must find fertile ground. Most Poles need a holiday in which they will show their love without embarrassment in a way that would otherwise be considered kitschy or distasteful. Thus, Valentine's Day enables the open expression of emotions, which we can rarely afford in a society that fiercely competes for money. So the more we choke our feelings, the more they erupt on Valentine's Day. So you could say that Valentine's Day helps many of us understand and express our emotions. One must only hope that they will also teach us to be open and spontaneous on a daily basis. And if we don't get a response to our timid declaration of love, we can always say: "There is nothing to worry about, it was just Valentine's Day."

Smiling pumpkin

While celebrating Valentine's Day can create at best a generational disagreement, celebrating Halloween can cause serious conflicts. It is in conflict with a strong tradition of venerating graves. We rarely remember the inevitability of death in our daily lives. But the Day of the Dead is an opportunity to think about its role in our lives at least once a year, to reflect on its fragility and elusiveness. When we think about the departed loved ones on this day, we see what they left behind important. They also taught us to love, thanks to which we can love our ownkids. A visit to the cemetery is proof of our still strong feelings for people who, despite having physically passed away from this world, still live in our hearts. No wonder then that the older generation cannot come to terms with the attempts to replace this moment of reflection with the pagan habit of dressing up in ghostly masks.

Bożena Zych, 47-year-old doctor: “The games organized on the All Saints' Day offend my feelings. This day is to remind us of our deceased parents and friends. There are so many other days of the year - why was this one chosen for such antics? Other times, no one would have a grudge. "Although Halloween apparently serves similar purposes to the Festival of the Dead, i.e. to tame us with the existence of death, it is in fact an occasion for joyful fun. Disco parties, parades and ghost balls rather distract us from the fact of passing," and they treat death as something that can be tamed, talked about, ignored. In fact, it serves to suppress the feelings of fear. Under the mask of the phantom, there is a familiar face - so we have nothing to fear.

Kamil Śliwiński, 21-year-old economics student: “I don't want to mortify myself on this day. Nobody important has died for me yet. Graves, processions, black clothes - it depresses me. I prefer a good pub party. "Halloween is gaining popularity among young people who like to take advantage of every opportunity to have fun. However, there is a deeper reason related to systemic changes. Under the old system, taking a job meant doing it for the rest of your life. It was not always good. paid, but ensured safety, a sense of stability and certainty of tomorrow. Today, a young man considers getting a job as a great success. He is aware, however, that he may lose it tomorrow and will be forced to look for a new one. It causes a state of constant anxiety, fear for the future. Nobody has such awareness. in the long run, it won't survive without the consequences. ”In the US, psychologists have concluded that three-quarters of depression or neurosis is due to the ruthless realities of the free market, so it's no wonder that young people don't like holidays that remind them of passing. They're at the start, they need to stay energized, they have to be a hit, so they look for entertainment that will distract them attention from problems. Does this impair their ability to express feelings for the dead? Not necessarily. After all, they can be fondly remembered, but avoiding the problem of death itself. Young people don't want to think about it. It's too early for her.

Important

Virtual confessions

:-) smile

; -) winky smile

:-( sadness, dissatisfaction

: ->sarcastic

: - | seriously concerned

: - / hesitant, grimacing, skeptical

: '- ( a tear in the eye spun

: '-) as above, only for luck

: - d laugh

: - c extreme depression

: - x I won't say anything

: - o surprise, surprise

: -cmok!

Keyboard emotions

With the opening of borders, the Internet appeared in our country, and with the Internet its specific culture. We leave the house less often, because we can chat with a friend or play our favorite computer game. Psychologists sound the alarm, suspecting that it will weaken our emotional ties. Are they right? Will the computer erase emotions from our lives? Meanwhile, it turns out that the online community cannot exist without expressing feelings. She had learned the hard way that the black text on a white screen said little about the other person's mood. When we don't know what our online friend is feeling, we're lost. So what to replace the facial expression, eyes, facial expressions or tone of voice that say so much about human feelings? In order to deal with this problem, Internet users have come up with special pictures composed of several characters. With their help, emotions can be conveyed quite well over the Internet. Usually it is a face lying on its side with a certain grimace. There are hundreds of emoticons, because that's what these stamps are called, and new ones are still being created. It just depends on the fantasy of the network user. Anyone just starting to use emoticons may be offended by their artificiality. Experienced Internet users advise you to learn to define your emotional state first, and then to translate it into signs. At first it may be difficult, there will be uncertainty whether we have been well understood. But then the use of signs becomes reflexive. Each state of the interlocutor's spirit: joy, sadness, surprise or dissatisfaction makes the fingers automatically tap the necessary sign. Besides, knowing that you are anonymous and that your emotions can be communicated remotely makes it easier to recognize them.

World without feelings

Free market laws, rush, desire for success - all this makes us forget about emotions. Not being able to name and express one's feelings is alexithymia. Some people call it executive's disease because it is related to workaholism. As the author of the book on this subject, Dr. Elżbieta Zdankiewicz-Ścigała, writes, alexithymia can be considered as "the emotional style of the 21st century". People suffering from this disease are not able to realize what they really feel, and therefore cannot convey it Others, without the patient's control, negative emotions are transformed into bodily reactions: he can, for example, for hoursdo aerobics. In others, aggression may appear, as well as somatic complaints, such as asthma or sexual coldness. Alexithymia is often removed from the family home. It is the result of a lack of conversations about children's feelings, experiences and fantasies. Common questions: How are you? What have you experienced today? "- they can be the easiest way to protect against this disease.

Laughter is he alth

Along with new traditions, we have introduced new methods of healing emotions. One of them is laughter therapy. There is more truth to the saying "laughter is he alth" than its creators thought. Laughter has a beneficial effect on many organs of our body. Endorphins are released during a sincere burst of laughter, Also called happiness hormones They soothe headaches, muscle and toothaches Laughter increases the body's resistance to infections, has a relaxing effect and reduces stress In addition, it lowers excessively high blood pressure, reducing the risk of heart disease These are just some of the many benefits of laughter therapy. 37-year-old Iza she participated in a therapeutic session for people with chronic pain: "In the evening, after supper, we would sit in a circle and tell jokes. We kept remembering new and new ones. One person's giggle made others cheerful, and when she saw their reaction, she laughed even more. louder. When someone burned a joke, some people just rolled around laughing on the floor. In the end, everyone laughed to tears, without the need to tell jokes. on the second day in the morning our stomachs and jaws hurt. I've never laughed like this in my life. It was a great opening experience. I think we've made up for all the years gone by. "

So how do new habits affect our emotional life, the existence of which, regardless of our opinion, we have to come to terms with? Their freshness and attractiveness certainly makes us more aware of other people's needs. Perhaps from now on we will start to notice and satisfy them. If someone has not had a problem with it before, Valentine's Day will not hurt them. However, if it is a holiday whose purpose is only to distract us from the unpleasant sides of life, there is a danger that we will impoverish our emotions. After all, emotional he alth is about not only expressing joy openly, but also dealing with sadness, fear, or discouragement. Therefore, each of us carries the answer to this question within ourselves. We just have to take a look there.

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Category:

Psychology