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"Do you have cancer?" - Alopecian women, or women without hair, hear this question hundreds, if not thousands of times a day. They are asked by complete strangers, but also by friends. Alopecia areata, or alopecia areata, affects about two percent of the world's population. The statistics are growing year by year, and scientists and doctors still do not know why. There is also no one effective therapy for this.

Excerpts from the book“Alopecian women. Stories of bald women " by Marty Kawczyńska, HARDE publishing house, 2022.

"Baba wonder"

Alopecia areata is an autoimmune condition. A malfunctioning immune system attacks its own cells - in this case, these are the hair follicles - and interferes with the process of hair formation. It often happens that deserted places are covered with hair on their own. Sometimes the hair never comes back. It happens that baldness takes an aggressive form and the patient loses not only hair on the head but also all over the body, including eyebrows and eyelashes.

A woman without hair is not easy. It causes surprise, attracts attention. Just "wonder woman". At a time when the world around us and the media are bombarding us with advertisements for cosmetics and dietary supplements that will make us dazzle with lush hair and a perfect hairstyle and convince us that the hair is "a real female weapon".

Zuzanna: I don't think that suffering ennobles

"Shocking", "cosmic", "delightful" - fashion journalists judge her and add that "the model has avant-garde beauty."

Zuzia is a performer, poet and sometimes she poses for photos. Renaissance woman. She once called herself a rabbi.

- It was such a joke in response to a malicious comment from a hater on my Instagram profile. Someone suggested that I should finally decide whether I am - a poet, artist or model. I am all of them.

Drunk guy licked my head

She exudes gentleness and joy in life. You just want to hug her and … stroke her head. I tell her about it.

- Lots of people have this reflex - he replies. - Sometimes I do. When I'm lightly drunk at a partyI turn a blind eye to it. But a few times I got really pissed off. I don't play a freak show, I'm not a pet to be petted and cuddled.

- Has anyone ever exaggerated?

- Some drunk, crazy guy licked my head. It was disgusting - admits Zuzia.

I got three illnesses from fate in a package

The first autoimmune disease diagnosed in Susanna was atopic dermatitis, later Hashimoto's, i.e. chronic thyroiditis. Alopecia areata, which turned to total loss, started when she was twelve.

- I was beginning to mature. I was no longer a naive child. I read a lot, I was interested in the world - he says. - I don't know anyone who got these three diseases in a package from fate. Maybe if I met someone like that on my way, it would be an interesting exchange of experiences for me - he admits.

Zuzanna was losing her hair gradually. She remembers that at first she noticed a very thin line on the front of her head, then more patties appeared.

- It was very difficult for both me and my mother. Dad handled it a little better, though at first he couldn't believe it. I remember him saying that children do not lose their hair - he recalls.

The more bald patches she had on her head, the more she was afraid of people. She did not leave the house without a headscarf or a beret.

Come on, look bald and still shave!

- Together with my mother, we tried to find out as much as possible about my disease, we were looking for effective treatments. It was not easy. Doctors used to say, "It will pass with age or when the daughter has a baby."

She remembered the visit to the doctor in Poznań. It was a famous dermatologist. She went to him with her mother. Together with the doctor, his son, a novice medic, was in the office. The doctor examined her head and said that now she should take off her panties because she wants to see "what's going on down there".

- It was past puberty. Embarrassed, I took off my panties and said I had pubic hair, but I shave it, she recalls. - The old man laughed and said to his son: "Look, she's bald and she's still shaving!"

(…) Such behavior, which is not in line with medical ethics and good manners, happens quite often, unfortunately. (…) Fortunately, women who fight for their hair more and more often meet supportive doctors who not only prescribe medications, but are also eager tothey are talking. When they see that the patient is in poor condition, they suggest visiting a psychologist or psychotherapist. Such meetings often provide more than just another miracle medicine.

Zuzia consciously gave up her bald head treatment when she was sixteen.

- My mom kept dragging me from doctor to doctor. One day I asked her to give it up.

Zuzanna admits that the lack of hair was not the biggest problem for her. Her atopic dermatitis was worse.

- I've had, and still have, such wounds that I can't sit on my butt. Recently, immunosuppressants helped me. But I have the thought in the back of my head that the worst will come back, I will lie down and suffer endlessly again. I am very afraid of this - he explains.

Most women alopecia hope their hair will grow back - I denied it

Strongly believes that what he is doing now is valuable and may be of interest to others. He easily shows his bald head and naked body in photos on social media.

(…) Do I love my body? Various, sometimes I love, sometimes I hate. It happens that my body and its needs weigh on me, disturb me, and if I satisfy them, I feel embarrassed.

Zuzanna admits that she has always felt accepted at home. Thanks to this, she made her distinctive feature.

She was persuaded to walk without a turban and "tame" a bald head by her friend, now also an artist, Mikołaj Tkacz. (…)

Most women alopecia, although they accept the fact that they don't have hair, live with the hope that it will grow back one day. According to the age-old principle that "hope dies last". Zuzia denied this hope.

- I don't want to feed on it, put myself forever in the position of victim, sufferer. I do not think that suffering ennobles. I think it's easier to go the other way and totally accept yourself and your illness - he explains.

About the author of the bookMarta Kawczyńska - journalist, psychotherapist of dance and movement (DMT), author of the book "Alopecian women. Stories of bald women", Wyd. Harde, 2022

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