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Child masturbation often causes anxiety among parents. Meanwhile, in most cases, child masturbation is not a cause for concern - see what causes it and learn how to react when you notice that your child is masturbating.
Contents:
- Child masturbation: reasons
- Child masturbation: types
- Child masturbation: how to react?
Child masturbation , according to some sources, already begins in the womb. A case of an ultrasound scan of a 28-week-old boy, described in 1987, was reported to be making penis-like movements1 . Of course, many people saw nothing to do with masturbation, and those who said otherwise called it completely unconscious.
Child masturbation: reasons
Undoubtedly, toddlers are masturbating. For many parents, the combination of their innocent child with masturbation is difficult to accept, but it is worth remembering that there is nothing wrong with this - it is natural that a child, if he felt pleasure while doing something, will devote himself to it.
In the youngest, similar "discoveries" come out accidentally - e.g. when an infant notices that pressing his legs between the back of a sofa or putting a mascot between the legs and pressing it causes him satisfaction.
Such childhood behavior, however, has nothing to do with the masturbation of adults or even teenagers - the child is not aware of the sexual sheath that accompanies masturbation. For him, it's just something nice, like spending time in the playground or going crazy on the beach.
The cause of child masturbation is simply the desire to feel pleasure, but while for an adult it has a sexual subtext, it is only one of many experiences for a child. It does not perceive it in the context of its sexuality.
Children around 5-6 years of age lose interest in masturbation, and masturbation returns at the age of 12-13. years when sex hormones come to the fore and then it is already used to experience pleasure in connection with sexuality.
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Worth knowingChild masturbation: types
Child masturbation is divided into several types.
Developmental masturbationis the type of behavior described above - it is based on the child's curiosity and has a cognitive function. The child touches his body, plays with his labia or penis, clenches his thighs, puts a pillow between his legs, etc. He discovers that it is sometimes enjoyable and that is why he exhibits such behavior. Developmental masturbation, as the name suggests, is a stage in a child's development.
Experimental masturbationis already a disturbing phenomenon. It appears when the child's imagination "goes too far" and, for example, a girl wants to put some objects into her vagina, and a boy wants to put something on his penis. Even though these behaviors are not sexual for the little ones, they can just do them harm. When developmental masturbation transforms into experimental masturbation, the child does not repeat a single activity that he enjoys, but looks for new ways to masturbate.
Instrumental masturbationoccurs in children who, by masturbating, unload the lack of satisfaction for their other needs, e.g. the feeling of insecurity or the fact that their parents do not spend enough time with them every day a lot of time. This is how the child draws attention to himself, which is why he often tries to masturbate in public.
Child masturbation: how to react?
Don't shout, talk calmly
Shouting: "What are you doing? Don't you know you're not allowed?" will do nothing. The child does not know that for adults what he does mean something other than just innocent fun.
On the other hand, a parent should not pretend not to see their child's behavior - failure to react may cause the child to masturbate in public because they will not know that they are not doing so.
It is worth talking to your child and emphasizing that there is nothing wrong with their behavior, but e.g. peeing is also not bad, but not peeing in front of other people.
It is important not to make the child feel guilty or ashamed, so that it does not affect his psychosexual development.
It will also be useful to talk to the kindergarten staff if the child attends it - unfortunately, sometimes preschoolers do not know how to react and may shout at the child, thus also drawing attention to them and making them quite embarrassed. During an interview in the kindergarten, it is worth preparing your daughter's or son's guardian for the fact that they canshe / he masturbates and ask the adult to react calmly.
Distract the child
If a child starts to masturbate not only at home, but also during a visit to a store or at a family celebration, it will help to distract him and, for example, start a conversation, offer to play together, take him to a group of children.
Think about the possible reasons for your child's behavior
If a child masturbates a lot and begins to invent new places and methods of masturbation, it is worth considering what could result from such behavior and whether the parent is able to remedy it on their own. This will be the case in many cases where it will help to devote more time to your child, to talk to him / her.
Sometimes, however, when all methods are not effective, you will need the help of a specialist. There is no reason to be afraid of visiting a child psychologist, especially since you can go to a proven, recommended expert.