Erotic fantasies are nothing to be ashamed of. In your dreams you can imagine having sex with whoever you want, where you want and what you want. Sexual fantasies are a reflection of intimate sexual desires and needs. Is it worth talking about your fantasies? When do erotic fantasies become a problem?

Erotic fantasies are normal brain function, just like sex drive is normal. Sex on the beach, petting a handsome guy from work, a kiss with a person of the same sex, participating in a "threesome" or an orgy … in your thoughts or dreams happens to everyone. There is no escape from such sexual fantasies. So let's accept them and realize that they say a lot about our mental condition, sexual needs, and also about our love relationships.

Erotic fantasies - sexual desires and needs

Erotic fantasies reflect our personality. It is believed that extroverted, brave people have spicy dreams, in contrast to calm, hidden people. But not always. It happens that seemingly quiet mice dream about breaking taboos, e.g. about sex in a public place with a stranger.

Erotic dreams are a reflection of our lives, not only sexual. They should not be interpreted literally. We usually fantasize due to momentary or prolonged dissatisfaction, loneliness, in order to diversify our sex life, for a change, for pleasure. Therefore, no, even the most shocking, fantasy can be bad (unless it turns into an obsession, but more on that later).

Erotic fantasies - what do they tell us?

Thanks to fantasies, we can analyze our emotions, find out what we lack in our life - gentle caresses, domination, risk or fun - and try to fulfill our own desires. This is a good way, for example, for long-term couples who need new stimulus to keep their relationship arousing, say sexologists.

If you feel like kissing your husband's friend or you dream of being dragged into the bathroom and forced to have sex there, it may be a signal that you want to change something in your love habits. So instead of going to bed again, offer sex in the bathtub or on the floor in the living room.

Problem

If we don't stop thinking about someone, we are not able to focus on our duties and we cannot fantasizeit ceases to be pleasant and only the fulfillment of dreams would bring relief, it becomes dangerous. It is worth finding the reason. Consider whether it is simply a signal of sexual dissatisfaction, or whether something is wrong in our relationship, and therefore the object of fantasy seems to be an ideal. If the same (specific) image repeats itself over and over again, or comes back every now and then, it can turn into an obsession that requires treatment. It can also lead to betrayal.

Sometimes your fantasies get worse. For example, in a man's mind, a blindfolded woman turns into a handcuffed woman, and sex with her becomes more and more brutal, with beatings and choking, and finally rape. A person who keeps dreaming such dreams is no longer able to get excited in any other way and eventually begins to pursue them. Then she should turn to a specialist and undergo treatment. It can mean serious disorders in the sphere not only in the sexual sphere.

Erotic fantasies are not a sin

Krysia is 44 years old. She is attractive, well-groomed, smiling and outgoing. Today she is divorced, and for two years she has a fiancé who is six years younger than her. "Only now do I know what it means to have a good lover." Before, I only dreamed about it - he confesses. - I married a virgin. I was haunted, very religious. I had no idea what I wanted about sex. In fact, I considered him something sinful. But at the same time, I liked him and had my needs. It was difficult for me to reconcile these two contradictions.

Unfortunately, my husband was completely unsuccessful in these matters. I never dared to tell him about my desires - I was afraid of his reaction and evaluation. So I resorted to fantasizing. When I was at the hairdresser or the masseur, I imagined that one day we would have sex. Over time, I have matured to understand that dreams are not a sin. Now I tell my partner about everything I want and we implement most of my whims. If they like him, of course.

The analysis of sexual fantasies will also be useful for young people who are not yet aware of their sexuality and simply do not know what they like. This is especially true of girls who are taught that a woman is supposed to give pleasure to a man, not demand it from him. Fortunately, there are films, magazines and books that allow you to get used to eroticism and prepare yourself mentally.

Erotic fantasies - female and male

The sexuality of a woman is different from that of a man, therefore their dreams are also different. Women usually fantasize about some nameless man who makes them feel wonderful, beautiful, special.

Menon the other hand, they dream about details: the object of their desires is not some woman, but, for example, a neighbor or a friend and her breast or bum. The technical details of intercourse appear in male fantasies.

Sexologists say that women's dreams resemble a television report, and men's dreams resemble news in a sensational program.

A woman usually imagines having sex in public, being watched during intercourse, rape or gang rape, bisexual adventures, as well as a black lover (richly endowed by nature). Many women like the man of their dreams to dominate them completely. But that doesn't mean that they would like to do it while they are awake. They just miss the stronger impressions because they are bored with the conventional behavior they have on a daily basis. Likewise with men. They fantasize very often about orgies, having sex with several women. They also dream of watching a few women play games. But they don't aim to live it all in reality.

Do you talk about erotic fantasies?

If you feel that implementing your fantasies will help bring your relationship to life, it's worth discussing them. As? Just like anything else. It is nothing "ugly". It's best to be straightforward, not to beat around the bush, say sexologists. The partner must understand what we mean. Otherwise, it will not meet our expectations and will still have a grudge: "you wanted it yourself". However, by honestly telling us what we enjoy, it is also possible to scare your partner away, offend him or even hurt him. Sometimes it's better to be silent and dream in secret. For example, when your husband's friend is the object of your fascination.

When things were going badly in Alice's marriage, she ran away in her dreams to embrace her friend at home. After some time, the quarrels with her husband stopped. Alice was happy, but she felt guilty about her fantasies and decided to confide in her husband. He couldn't understand or forgive it. It ended in divorce.

"Zdrowie" monthly

Category:

Art of love