Is There Life After Cancer? Can You Have a Happy Life with Cancer? How does diagnosis affect the patient and his relatives? It turns out that cancer can do a lot of good to life. It is also not uncommon for cancer patients to thank for cancer. How it's possible? Marcelina Dzięciołowska talks to psycho-oncologist Adrianna Sobol.
- M.D .: What is it like living with cancer?
A.S.:Illness is absolutely something very difficult. It strips away from control, takes off all the masks that we all put on throughout our lives and confronts us with various fears, fears, weaknesses that through our everyday life, the rush of the day, and various types of activities, we drown out and do not reflect on them.
Therefore, the disease, despite appearances, tames our fears, confronts them - if patients receive adequate support and allow themselves to undergo this process, it somehow releases.
It is therefore extremely important to make patients, their relatives and carers aware of the fact that there is life after cancer.
- M.D .: Why is it important to talk about it?
A.S.:Because if a patient who receives a cancer diagnosis is aware that this is not the end of the world, it will greatly strengthen him in the whole therapeutic process.
- M.D .: Is it related to the popular belief that cancer is a terrible disease that cannot end happily?
A.S.:Unfortunately, yes. Most patients, at the consultation stage or immediately after receiving the diagnosis of cancer, turn to stories they heard in the media, stories from life, and focus on those that were unsuccessful. But also because little is said about the good ones.
- M.D .: Is that why the idea came to tell these stories?
A.S.:Yes. Together with Agnieszka Witkowicz-Matolicz, in the book "Tame the Cancer", which we wrote together, we really wanted to show that cancer can be overcome and that it is possible to live with it.
Interestingly, a lot of people accused us not only of choosing the title of the book, which is "Tame Cancer", but also that we wrote down stories of people who depicted patients who had undergone treatment, who are still alive.normality.
- M.D .: Where did this objection come from?
A.S.:Because everyone thinks that cancer cannot be tamed and that there is simply no life after treatment.
- M.D .: But from the therapist's perspective, there are surely a few stories that have a good ending?
A.S.:Of course! I had such a patient - a very young girl who knew at the outset that her disease would not be cured. At her side, a terrified husband - thirty-something people whose world has collapsed.
At the very beginning of the therapeutic path, I started telling them the stories of my patients, in whom the disease is advanced, and they are alive, they have it under control.
At one point I found that these people were looking at me and did not believe what I was saying, and it occurred to me that they are in the stage of "mourning" that they need time, and I wanted to show them right away that it can be otherwise.
- M.D .: So it is another proof that building the patient's awareness, and thus the support of a psycho-oncologist at the very beginning of his or her journey, is very important.
A.S.:We socially talk so little about good stories that, looking at me, they mistook me for a madman who tells incredible stories, because the image that the patient builds in his head with the diagnosis and his relatives, the picture that they subconsciously strive for in such situations is usually very, very bad.
- M.D .: From this it follows that in order to show the patient new possibilities, it is necessary to gradually and carefully dose building a new vision of the neoplastic disease?
A.S.:Yes, it occurred to me that building hope should be skillfully balanced, it all has to be dosed calmly. And I entered the inspirational story phase too quickly.
- M.D .: It is certainly not easy - it requires abandoning the current opinion, vision, image of the disease not only on the part of the patient, but also on the part of people around him, right?
A.S.:Yes, definitely. Illness is always associated with some loss, reevaluation of one's life, with a huge change in thinking and the environment. People around the patient still think about the patient who is thin, bald and vomiting …
- M.D .: This is what we know well about this disease …
A.S.:Even at the stage of promoting the book in the media, when the first articles about it appeared, they selected photos of sad people wearing headscarves, staring blankly at the window … No we wanted this image of cancer, we wanted ittame this disease. The whole situation requires catching a very important measure without losing hope, because disease is often a long distance steeplechase.
- M.D .: But the obstacles can be overcome …?
A.S.:These obstacles can be overcome, the future is bright for many patients. And here we stop at the question: But what's the future? What is the future for a cancer patient?
- M.D .: And what does this future depend on?
A.S.:Here it is very important, first of all, at what stage of the disease the patient will report, what is the diagnosis, what location of the disease, does he have access to modern therapeutic forms, because these stories they are very, very different.
I am observing more and more people whose cancer can be cured in 100% - of course, all the time to control it, but cured, and there are also situations where the disease takes the form of a chronic disease. Doctors themselves often begin to compare neoplastic disease to diabetes or other chronic disease.
- M.D .: And this is the hope for a normal life?
A.S.:This is a question of what is really hope for the patient, because hope is not the same as optimism, it is not the conviction that something will end well. Rather, it's just a feeling that something makes sense.
When I see my patients - for example Ola, who is active in social media - a young girl who, at the age of 29, got a diagnosis of advanced breast cancer, with her 2-month-old son by her side and she thought it was the end, and he is now living for the fifth year since his diagnosis.
Is it always okay? Not. But she is alive, she accompanies her son, who develops, who grows, goes to kindergarten - so much has changed during these 5 years. This is a girl who was saying to her boyfriend, "Come on, we're going to a concert because this might be my last concert."
It turned out that this is not the last concert, because 5 years pass, and Ola is in better and sometimes worse shape, but a lot is going on in her life.
- M.D .: Such stories should be publicized not only among cancer patients!
A.S.:I also remember a patient I met in the ward while I was pregnant. She was an opera singer with a broken spine. Kalina - my daughter turned 7 in January this year, so we met that patient over 7 years ago, and I am currently meeting her at the opera. He no longer sings, but is at all premieres!
- M.D .: Like thispossible?
A.S.:These are modern forms of therapy. They give hope that it is possible to live with cancer - the opera singer did not defeat cancer, she is in remission.
- M.D .: A not very optimistic vision of this disease seems to be inextricably linked with it, and yet the change in attitude to oncological disease brings enormous benefits in the context of patient treatment …
A.S.:This is what we lack - a real oncological picture. This is why I keep referring to my own work and how, at the stage of publishing a book in which real patients shared their stories, we had a hard time all the time that we all expected rhetoric in the direction of sadness, drama and all that is wrong .
We did not shy away from it, there is no reason to enchant the picture here - cancer is an extremely difficult topic. At the same time, we wanted to show that this is a disease like any other, that it can be treated, and that you can live with it.
- M.D .: And what can you say about patients with a "he althy" approach to this topic?
A.S.:Fortunately, I have a large example of patients who, after treatment, say “thank you for cancer, because it woke me up, it gave me a chance to build a new self, to touch a new one quality of life that I have never noticed before, the ability to enjoy, to be present here and now "which means that their lives have changed dramatically.
- M.D .: How does this translate into their new life?
A.S.:Patients make huge revolutions - they break off toxic relationships, get divorced, meet new partners, change their jobs because they want to live on their own terms.
- M.D .: So cancer disease can do a lot?
A.S.:The contact with the greatest of fears means that when the patient allows himself to be helped, he often touches the freedom in choice, in action and discovers a great pursuit of truth as a result which these life revolutions are happening, which I often accompany.
This is what the disease gives, but first the patient who is at the beginning of the journey must learn to believe that he can do it.
- M.D .: I have the impression that this is also missing for us - he althy people?
A.S.:We, he althy people, put off our lives, operate in various patterns on the basis of "yes, I should", "I have to work", "I have to be better ”,“ I have to more… ”, and in the face of cancer,not“ I have to ” only “ I want ”.
I have to point out that this is not something that happens immediately, I don't want my words to be interpreted as something trivial - it is a really difficult process.
- M.D .: It sounds as if he althy people could learn from those affected by this serious disease …
A.S.:Cancer patients are a great support for other people, for other patients, they are people who have encountered the most difficult situation, but often managed to shake it off, get out and show that despite all the difficulties, life can still be enjoyed and appreciated.
- M.D .: This is very encouraging - these patients are a living example that cancer is not a sentence
A.S.:The lives of cancer patients often turn out to be fuller. Due to my work in the “Onkocafe” foundation, I have many years of contact with my patients, I accompany them and observe their activities. These stories are different, and the advances in medicine provide hope, support and faith.
Together with Agnieszka Witkowicz-Matolicz in our book, we described that cancer is not a sentence, cancer is a disease that is treated and I would like patients to stop using the slogan "fight against cancer", to stop fighting and start to heal themselves .
- M.D .: That would have a significant impact on their emotional state?
A.S.:Emotions must be expressed, sorrows shared. First of all, I would like all patients on their way to change their approach and replace the word "I am struggling" with "I am healing" - this is something that is missing.
They all fight at the start of their path. I would like my patients to believe that they are healing, not fighting, it gives much more peace and much needed hope, which translates into all this motivation, which in turn makes something just meaningful.
In the face of illness and going through one of the most extreme life situations, a person begins to wonder if the way he lived so far suits him. This requires constant self-insight …
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Colorectal cancer: new treatment methods in Poland- M.D .: Because it's a process, right?
A.S.:Yes, it is a very difficult process and not everyone is involved in this process, because entering this type of process requires enormous strength and determination, because it is primarily behind it the question of the ability to stand up to others, to introduce a revolution, and this requires courage, strength, perseverance …
- M.D .: Do you have to admit that this effort is profitable?
A.S.:If patientsallow themselves to do so, allow themselves to be supported, it may all turn out to be more qualitative.
- M.D .: Well, someone may ask: what is this life after cancer, how is it qualitative?
A.S.:It is known that no one would like to face an illness face to face, because it is something difficult and overwhelming, but when there is such a situation, there are always two possibilities.
One of them is to cry and say that the world is over or tell yourself that this situation is already in my life, so it's worth considering what good I can get out of it, what I can do for myself and for what reschedule it. Patients who follow the other path find the good sides of this disease and live really well.
- M.D .: What can be considered a turning point in the change of attitude towards life in this disease?
A.S.:Often only when confronted with the most difficult situations, the greatest fear can be perceived. There is a kind of philosophy in oncology, because a person runs away from fears and fears all his life, and when he finally confronts this fear, it suddenly turns out in many cases that this fear is not so terrible that it can be de alt with and it, contrary to appearances, adds strength and courage …
- M.D.:… Strength and courage for real revolutions!
A.S.:Exactly! My patients, in the face of a dramatic disease situation, part with their partners, and when their relatives keep telling them: "get on your head, where are the breakups in your head now ?!", they reply that this disease forces them to be honest, also in their relationship to herself that life for each of us is here and now.
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A.S.:Disease very often teaches, above all, he althy selfishness, that I must be important to myself, and even the most important! None of us can be sure of tomorrow, because there is simply no such person in the world.
It is also a process and I would like patients to allow themselves more to think that yes - the disease is a huge challenge, but do I have to scare myself so much? Maybe it is possible to live with this disease? Maybe after successful treatment it is not possible to forget about the disease, but it is possible to live and this life can be fun.
- M.D .: So what can a cancer patient do to learn to live with this disease? What is important in this process?
A.S.:First of all, support from relatives and friends, access tomodern therapeutic forms, to medical centers, good contact with a doctor, good medical communication, but these are systemic issues.
The patient should remember that he must be honest with himself so that he can search for the best solutions for himself and I am not talking only about medical solutions, but also about life ones.
The disease verifies many things and the time of treating the disease is not the moment where we have to hide everything under the carpet.
This is the moment of confrontation, allowing yourself to be true, the moment when you have to look for and be open to new experiences, to a new group of friends, to a new group of people who will become close, to new forms of finding your own way to is to better cope with stress, tension and anxiety, or to change and transform your life in general in the context of, for example, changing the workplace, way of functioning, and thinking.
It is a huge hard work of my own, therapeutic work, but one where there is a constant dialogue with myself, a constant internal dialogue, where you should ask yourself a number of questions about your own needs, how I can help myself, or this disease can give me something, it can teach me something - this openness to myself is extremely important.
For a patient who is struggling with cancer and depression, we first need to address his depression so that he can continue to validate and make life changes.
There are patients who say "no" to everything and reject any form of help, but there are also those who say "yes" to everything and it is not a discovery that with the latter it is much easier to go through therapeutic process.
It should be remembered that it never happens that a patient comes to a psycho-oncologist only with the problem of his own illness, often behind this there are many other systemic, family, professional and emotional difficulties. It is such a broad spectrum, therefore it is always individual.
In another interview with the editors of "Poradnik Zdrowie", psycho-oncologist Adrianna Sobol will talk about modern forms of cancer therapy and about the possibilities of using them.
Expert
Adrianna Sobol, psycho-oncologist, lecturer at the Medical University of Warsaw Psycho-oncologist and lecturer at the Medical University of Warsaw at the Department of Oncological Prevention. He works at the LuxMed Oncology Cancer Hospital in Warsaw. She is a member of the Board of the OnkoCafe Foundation - Together Better, a psychotherapist and founder of the Ineo Psychological Support Center. Has created an online training platform He alth begins inhead. Author of numerous publications in the field of psycho-oncology and he alth psychology. Co-author of the book "Tame cancer. Inspirational stories and a guide to emotions" (Znak, 2022). She acts as an expert in television programs, co-creates campaigns and social campaigns. He conducts numerous trainings and workshops in the field of psychology and personal development.
Psychooncologist and lecturer at the Medical University of Warsaw at the Department of Oncological Prevention. He works at the LuxMed Oncology Cancer Hospital in Warsaw. She is a member of the Board of the OnkoCafe Foundation - Together Better, a psychotherapist and founder of the Ineo Psychological Support Center. Has created an online training platform He alth Begins In The Head. Author of numerous publications in the field of psycho-oncology and he alth psychology. Co-author of the book "Tame cancer. Inspirational stories and a guide to emotions" (Znak, 2022). She acts as an expert in television programs, co-creates campaigns and social campaigns. He conducts numerous trainings and workshops in the field of psychology and personal development.