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In Poland, 15 people a day attempt suicide - 11 of them are successful. The number of people who are taking their own lives is growing at an alarming rate. Why do people decide to take such a step? Are there any signs of an impending tragedy?
More people are killed by suicide than by road accidents each year. Back in 1998, they were the eighth cause of death in the world, but have now moved to the fourth position. Almost every such case has its own individual face.
Suicides most often do not want to die, but they cannot live any longer, because everyday life hurts them too much, they have lost hope of improving their situation. When the world heard news of the suicide of actor Robin Williams, adored by millions, many people were shocked.
They said that he was so happy, nothing was missing for him to be happy. It just so happens that people whose relatives have ended up in this way say that they have not noticed any symptoms of worse well-being or a breakdown in a specific situation.
Suicide attempts are most often planned for a long time, but they also happen on impulse, e.g. hearing a diagnosis of an incurable disease or a love heartbreak among teenagers.
Reasons for a suicide attempt
It happens that reality surpasses us, that we do not see the light in the tunnel. It happens that death seems to be the only salvation from the pain of everyday life. The vast majority of people who do not see the sense of further existence and want to end it give some warnings and send signals. However, they are often neglected.
Many people make unsuccessful suicide attempts that are not reported or even kept secret. Among them there are many sham attempts. Such a person wants to make an impression on the environment, he also wants to signal that his problem is really serious for him. It also happens that suicide attempts are genuine, and yet the perpetrator has the idea to be saved as a result.
According to an expertAleksandra Urbaszek, psychologist, psychotherapist, www.aleksandraurbaszek.comFor every person the same situation can mean something different. It is a very individual matter, what will be a strong stressor for someone, e.g. death of a loved one, divorce, serious illness orfinancial problems. A suicide attempt is usually a cry for help. What is bearable for one may not be "leapfrogged" by another. Alcohol can contribute to a loss of life, but the main cause is usually depression, a deep crisis experienced by a specific person - says Aleksandra Urbaszek, a psychologist, adding that the risk factors for suicide also include gender (male!), Age (before 20 . and over 45), previous suicide attempts, loneliness, severe physical illness (e.g. cancer) and loss of rational thinking accompanying psychoses. It is also often an escape from traumatic situations, a call for help after unsuccessful attempts to communicate with loved ones, a reaction to escape in an unbearable situation.
The way of committing suicide differs by gender. Women choose less drastic types of death (e.g. poisoning with drugs, gas), while men choose more violent ones, e.g. throwing themselves under the wheels of a speeding vehicle, shooting with a firearm or jumping from a high floor. In Poland, there is one woman for every six male suicides, although a few years ago this proportion was five to one.
We also have children suicides every year. The number of suicides among the youngest is increasing. In this respect, we are at the forefront of Europe. According to KGP data, in 2022 28 children aged 7 to 12 and 702 children aged 13 to 18 made suicide attempts, which in the case of 116 children ended in death.
Increasingly younger Poles are taking their own lives. The youngest suicide man was … 7 years old. However, the record is held by the US and China, where children as young as 5 committed suicide. Most children this age are actually going to get the attention of adults, not quite knowing what it means to die.
Young people often decide to commit suicide because they are convinced that they cannot live up to their own or their parents' expectations, they often come from dysfunctional families and are unable to cope with, for example, a parent's alcoholism or sexual harassment. They live in a sense of life defeat and humiliation, when they compare themselves with their peers, it is difficult for them to see their own life in the future as different from that experienced now, they focus on the present suffering.
Among the oldest people, over 75 years old, we can observe a rapidly decreasing number of suicides, especially among men.
Attempted suicide and remorse
The victim of suicide is not only a person who took his own life. It is also her relatives, family, friends, neighbors, doctors and therapists whothey tried to help and prevent misfortune. - Leftover letters can provide valuable insight into the feelings and thoughts of suicides. There are those in which a person who is bargaining on his life makes the last decisions, e.g. asks his relatives for the repayment of a debt owed by someone, some entries are something like a will - says the expert.
The second group of letters is a kind of justification for the decision to take my own life, eg "I couldn't stand my husband abusing me anymore". Some are accusing, and some hurt the most because you can't explain anything anymore. The relatives who stay with this trauma will most often live with the question "why?" For the rest of their lives. and guilt. They analyze their relationship with a person who is no longer there, think about how they could have prevented a tragedy, they often feel remorse that they were not careful enough, that they didn't listen, that they failed …
And suicide is heralded by symptoms: depression, sadness, low mood, lack of concern for appearance, avoiding contacts or urgent regulation of one's affairs. Philosophical reflections on death, the statements "you'd be better off without me", and sudden preparation of a will may also, but do not have to, herald such plans.
Difficult life after a suicide attempt
There are many misconceptions about suicidal behavior in the public opinion. It happens that such courts contribute to the discrimination of the person who tried to kill himself. You cannot explain self-destructive actions with the "bad" features of human character. "Strong" people also have periods of breakdown, they are so overwhelmed with problems or simply illness that they lose all hope and will to live.
The myth of selfishness and weakness means that those rescued, who are later treated for, for example, depression, have to struggle with guilt and shame for attempting suicide, which makes it difficult for them to recover. There is also still the view that whoever talks about taking his own life will definitely not do it. Another myth is the belief that you shouldn't talk to such a person about their death wish.
ImportantHow to deal with a would-be suicide?
"Why were I rescued when I have the same problem all the time?" - would-be suicides often ask this question to their survivors. And this is the greatest pain, because there are still troubles related to the cause of taking life and the motivation to live after being rescued. As long as there are circumstances that support the motivation to commit suicide, we will deal with it, although often in other forms than the first time.
When someone talks about death or ways of killing ourselves, we should be especially careful and actwith the utmost caution. You should try to understand his feelings. Dealing with a would-be suicide is an art, you have to give him as much time and support as he needs, and be careful not to strengthen self-destructive solutions.
In the conversation, he must be convinced that he is really listened to and understood. We cannot speak out from the judge's position or justify his actions, even when he expects us to do so. When a hopeless person trusts our good intentions, there is a good chance that they will use the offer of seeking help from a specialist.
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