Every parent has encountered attempts to avoid their child from school or kindergarten. Sometimes toddlers' motivations to pretend to be ill are more complex. Therefore, there are situations in which it is worth asking yourself: is my child really sick? And if it pretends to be why?
The most common ailments simulated by children arestomach and headaches , however, it happens that some children pretend to faint, heart rhythm disturbances to avoid going to school or kindergarten or shortness of breath. Such he alth problems in a child make parents understandably anxious and often lead them to let their child stay at home.
Reasons for pretending to be ill in children
Simulating diseases usually indicates a certain disturbance in the functioning of the child in the environment or his emotional problems related to the situation at home. Sometimes the child does not want to take a test or lesson where they may be asked to answer, but sometimes the problem is more serious.
The reason for this behavior may be thatthe child does not fit in with his peers- is too shy, has complexes, is rejected by the group or is mistreated. Then he closes in on himself and does not want to leave the house. School problems, although they are the most common, are not the only reason why children simulate diseases.
Another reason isproblems at home , e.g. tense relationship between parents, lack of interest on their part, a sense of lack of understanding. In such situations, a child may feel lonely and neglected, and by pretending to be sick, they try to attract their parents' attention.
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How to check when a child is pretending and when he is actually sick?
Usually,sincere conversation between the parent and the student / ward is enough , but it happens that the child is reluctant to talk about their problems and still prefers to pretend to be an illness. Then it is necessary to visit a doctor who will assess whether the child is actually suffering from something.
If the doubts are dispelled and it turns out that the disease is simulated, you can seek help from a specialist who will help determine the problem you are dealing with. However,is worth trying to solve firstproblem in their own family circle , perhaps such a situation will also allow the parents to look at the child's needs differently and become aware of certain issues.
- The course of these stories is not always such that the parent suspects the child of simulation and goes to the doctor to dispel their doubts.Children can be very convincing.In our clinic, there were also school-age patients brought by parents who believed that their child had vision problems - says Dr. Agnieszka Samsel from the Warsaw clinic OptoMedica.
- An experienced ophthalmologist is able to discover that he is dealing with an unusual situation, for example, when a child finds a radical improvement in vision after putting on preset trial glasses. During eye examinations, ophthalmologists use the so-called simulation tests, e.g. tests with different strengths of eyeglass lenses or glasses without optical power - she added.
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Child pretends to be sick - when to see a specialist?
An important role is played by a specialist who, after becoming suspected of simulating a disease, preferably plays a given situation delicately, without firmly exposing the toddler's intentions, while discreetly informing his parents about his observations.
The standard is that when finding a simulation, parents are asked about any problems at home or in the relationship with the child. Unfortunately, parents often deny the existence of this type of problem or the impact of the problem on the child, saying that everything is fine, while, for example, they are in the process of divorce and do not suppose how much impact such events have on their children …
- The most extreme case of this type I have experienced is a 10-year-old girl who was diagnosed with optic neuritis by ophthalmologists and who was treated with steroids for this reason. The girl consistently simulated ailments, because being one of five siblings, she felt neglected by her mother, and the simulation of visual deterioration increased the attention of the parent. Mom went with her to research, was in the hospital together, and cared more than before (this is technically called "Second-hand Simulation"). Fortunately, a thorough ophthalmological examination ruled out the actual disease, and a conversation with the patient's mother confirmed my conviction about thepsychogenic nature of the problem . Of course, the steroid therapy was discontinued, but I recommended a consultation with a psychologist - says Agnieszka Samsel, MD, PhD.
Sometimes the reasons for simulating aremore prosaic. It can be a simple desire to wear glasses, for example because your best friend wears them. Simulating ailments by children, especially chronic ones, such as amblyopia, is a challenge that both parents and specialists in specific fields have to face.
Even if it does not apply to us at this point, it is worth bearing in mind the above issue to know how to behave then for the benefit of everyone.
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