Aggression in children is a phenomenon that we often encounter. There is probably no kindergarten group in which there would not be at least one troublemaker, a child who causes trouble, is aggressive, disliked by other children. One that everyone complains about because it destroys, beats, calls out for no reason or tears at the hair; isolated from peers, an unwanted companion in group activities. Not always a boy - sometimes girls are also aggressive and "badly mannered".

Aggression in childrencan come from very different sources. Sometimes the reason is the temperament of the child. Often, aggression is caused by insecurity and the grief felt over the parents' lack of attention - this is the case if they work late. Some aggressive children get role models from television, watching brutal cartoons or violent adult movies.

Aggression in children: where do aggressive behavior in children come from?

Some children learn aggression from adults - watching aggressive neighbors, arguing parents or older siblings fighting. It happens that the cause of aggressive behavior is the appearance of a younger brother or sister - parents busy with an infant expect from a young child that he will suddenly become mature and responsible. In some cases, low self-esteem also causes aggression.

This usually happens with children whose parents are climbing the career ladder, expecting their child to be better and better in everything, and to win in every competition. When this is not the case, the child becomes frustrated by taking out his anger on others. A frequent reason is also the lack of applicable norms and rules of behavior - when parents do not pay attention to their children when they do something wrong, hoping that they will understand what is right and what is wrong, and even unconsciously reinforce negative behavior. Finally, a lack of adequate rest may be a cause of aggression.

Aggression in children: ways to aggression in children

Aggressive toddlers are a problem not only for the ladies in kindergarten - also, and maybe most of all, for their parents. Anger cannot be simply forbidden or suppressed by force. If it is inhibited for too long, it will eventually find an outlet - for example in dangerous games. She must also not be ignored so that such behavior does not become permanent. Whatso to do? The first step should be to find out why your child is behaving this way. Is he not coping with emotions? What are you afraid of? Don't feel loved enough? Or maybe it is provoked by peers or thinks that this is how conflicts should be resolved?

It will not be easy, because you will probably have to confront what the child says with the opinion of the preschoolers. Perhaps the help of an experienced psychologist who will help "work out" the toddler will be useful. But this is just the beginning of the road. Malcowi must be made aware of why aggression is bad, teach him how to discharge emotions in a way that does not hurt others, and on this issue a common front with the educator.

Here are some tips:

  • Teach your child to name emotions and associate them with specific behavior, show solutions. Explain: “You hit your friend because you were angry that he was playing with the toy you wanted to play with. In such a situation, you have to wait your turn or politely ask if you can play now. "
  • Make the rules. Explain to your child why other children must not be hurt or hurt. Explain specifically: "You mustn't hit because it hurts." Emphasize that you will not tolerate this behavior anymore.
  • Explain that it's normal to feel angry, but don't do whatever comes to your mind. Determine what you can - for example stomp, shout, blur the paper with crayons, throw the mascot on the floor (but not at a friend). And what you can't: beat your friends, spit, tear your hair, in other words - anything that can hurt someone.
  • Show how you can release negative emotions and relieve anger. Together, think of a word that your child can say when it's bad (for example, "pumpernickel"!). Tell me what you do when you are angry - "safe", and at the same time understandable for preschoolers, ways are counting in the mind of dangerous animals or washing your hands for a long time in the bathroom.

Be patient and consistent. It takes time for a toddler to understand and apply the rules. You will probably hear more than once that your child was again beating or calling friends. And even if you boil with anger every time, patiently remind yourself why you must not do this.

The increasing scale of violence among children and young people is appalling. Małgorzata Rajchert-Lewandowska, an experienced and respected psychologist from Warsaw, talks about the causes and consequences as well as methods of treating aggressive minors in Michał Poklękowski's program Drogowskazy on Eski Rock:

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