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Mourning is the time necessary to come to terms with a new situation. It should not be put off or ignored, and it must not be lost in it. The pain of losing a loved one becomes healing when the entire spectrum of intense feelings leads slowly and gradually towards inner balance.

Usually after a year (rarely faster), although it happens that only after a few years,mourningreaches its end. However, this does not mean that tears,painand longing will never come back. They will come back more than once. However, they will interfere with normal life less and less. This time is needed for a person to adapt to the new situation. Mourning, in a way, helps him adopt a new identity: he becomes someone else than he was before - so his life will also be different.

Mourning can bring the rest of the family together

Deathof one person disturbs the balance not only of those closest to him, but also of the family as a whole. Suddenly, her ways of spending time together change, and sometimes her beliefs, values ​​and habits change.

In their place, however, there is greater concern for each other. The loss of a loved one has a huge impact on changes in the behavior of family members. It unites them. Parent-child relationships are changing, but also sibling ties are strengthening. They need mutual support, being with each other more often, much more talks. Talking about suffering makes it easier for them to maintain a sense of continuity in family life.

There are cases, however, that the current image of the family collapses, suddenly everyone goes their own way, starts living their own lives. Family contacts can also loosen up when the pain persists for too long. For those who have already de alt with regret, it is difficult to constantly recall these unpleasant memories, open wounds or still live in the past. Not wanting or simply not being able to help someone who is still experiencing loss, who is constantly crying, lamenting, withdrawing in themselves or, on the contrary, constantly wanting comfort and support, they run away from him, and over time the distance grows larger and larger. Unfortunately, it is not always possible for the family to mourn together. And one of its members may be left alonealone with his suffering.


If it is not possible (for any reason) to experience the sadness in your own way, you may experience long-term emotional (e.g. anxiety, depression), physical (e.g. insomnia, apathy, etc.) and even he alth (e.g. anemia). In this case, you must go to a specialist.

Mourning - when sadness paralyzes

However, there are cases when sadness paralyzes, is very complicated, even pathological. This usually happens when a human:

  • refrain from crying,
  • postpones experiencing sadness until later,
  • inhibits your emotions,
  • experiences mourning and sadness for too long, when this state is prolonged, turns into clinical depression,
  • something will disturb the experience of sadness (e.g. urgent work commitments, self-imposed restrictions, guilt or anger).

Sometimes the individual needs of orphans are so great that they need professional help from a therapist. The psychologist will also take up other difficult, existential topics with the patient, regarding the meaning and value of life.

The final period of mourning can also be difficult. Man already notices a certain joy in life, sees that his positive attitude towards the world returns. And he begins to feel guilty about it, considering the changes in his mood as "lack of due respect for the deceased."

Where to go for help

Telephone Counseling Center for Adults in Emotional Crisis

tel.116 123

  • It is the first nationwide, free Telephone Counseling Center, where you can get professional psychological help in crisis situations. From Monday to Friday, from 2 p.m. to 10 p.m., specialists from the Institute of He alth Psychology of the PPA are on duty at the telephone number 116 123, providing support and psychological help to people in need.
  • Calls to a clinic consultant are free - no matter what network you connect from. You can reach the clinic from anywhere in Poland, both from a landline and a mobile phone.
  • Counseling services are available to anyone who needs psychological support and help. Every caller is treated the same regardless of gender, race, religion, education, sexual orientation or origin.
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