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Singiel / singielka - is it possible to live a fascinating life as a single person? It is only up to you. Loneliness is a state of the soul - being with another person does not guarantee that you will avoid it. But are single people declaring that it's fun to be single really satisfied or are they just making a good face for a bad game? Can a single / single live happily?

Single or singlelives alone, but that doesn't mean he's lonely. Below we present the stories of three single girls - each of them is different, but they have one thing in common -loneliness . For none of them, however, loneliness is a source of suffering. Contemporarysingielkican really enjoy life.

Mature single

Many of us dream of a fairy-tale prince, a man with whom worries will disappear and life will become light as a feather. So it was with Ewa. Brought up in a family of principles, in which children were made strict demands, always subordinated to someone's will - she waited for her knight. - I was a romantic - says Ewa, an attractive 56-year-old. - I could not imagine living alone, but because no one lived up to my expectations, I broke every relationship. But when this dream appeared, I gave up unconditionally. After 25 years of marriage, the ideal passed … to the younger one. Eve asked for a divorce. She was left alone, because the adult children had already moved out of the house long ago.

- At first I felt relieved that this fiction was finally over, but then it was terrible. I was depressed, I was looking for guilt in myself, I was overwhelmed with bitterness at disappointed expectations. Earlier, I glorified my husband and did everything to deserve his love. I gave up on my dreams and devoted myself to running the house so that it could make a career. Suddenly my world collapsed. I realized that I don't even know who I am - says Ewa.

Psychological books turned out to be the cure. They helped her look inside herself and find answers to many questions. She was slowly coming out of the hole. She set up a small company, enrolled in her dream studies, started playing sports, and made new friends. Ever since she left the house and opened herself to the world, her life took on color. - Many of my problems resulted from low self-esteem. IfI started talking to myself, thinking about what I want, I became stronger and regained my peace - says Ewa.

She has been alone for 4 years and is comfortable being single. When a man appears on the horizon, Ewa only allows herself to flirt. - If someone can fit into my life someday, it is great, and if not, it will also be good - he assures. - Women often enter new relationships too quickly because of the fear of loneliness. I'm more afraid that some guy will want to put me again in the place he will set for me. “It took me many years to step out of the victim role and discover that I didn't need a man's arm at all. Now I resist any compulsion. I like myself as I am now - in the single version. That - helpless, passive, boisterous woman - was forgotten. I got myself back, and this is a great value!

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According to an expertDr. med. Piotr Dąbrowiecki, allergist, chairman of the Polish Federation of Asthma, Allergy and COPD Patients

A lot of single people come to my office, especially 30-year-olds, but not only. Over 90 percent Patients are people who have problems establishing relationships, which would prove that, contrary to declarations that it is fun to be single, we are social beings and we need the company of another human being. People are usually not happy in their loneliness and come to a psychologist to change something about themselves. But it may be that at some point in your life you need to be alone. Erik Erikson, a developmental psychologist, made the thesis - with which I agree - that we can create a good relationship when we can be autonomous. When we know who we are and what we want from life. Often, we just need to be alone to find out. In short, before we enter into a deep relationship with another person, we should solve our problems.

Loneliness can have an important developmental dimension and being single can be a fun time if we use it properly. People have plenty of ideas on how to tame loneliness: they sign up for various courses, travel, play sports, and socialize. All is well, but sometimes it is worth asking yourself whether what I do is really the realization of my passions, is for development, gaining knowledge, satisfaction with life, etc. Or is it just killing time and running away.That's why I always emphasize to learnIt is fun to distinguish between being alone and a situation where we suppress this loneliness.It is often the case that we do not enter into a relationship with another person - although we wish to do so deep down - because we drag the baggage of unresolved problems with us. A mature, self-confident person, making a concession to his partner, makes a conscious choice without feeling pressured. And a person accustomed to dependence will always secretly dream that someone will take care of him, and will enter into a toxic relationship, for example, with greater ease. Later such experiences make us afraid of further disappointments and prefer to be alone.If we put our minds together, loneliness can be a good time, and for some even the best way to live. Condition: we must be really good with ourselves!

Being single means being independent and uncompromising

- I felt good in my own company since I was a child - says Maria. - And I was never bored with myself. When I was 18, I arranged a piece of attic in our house, so as not to live in the same room with my sisters. I wanted my own place on earth and peace of mind. It was also my biggest dream when I came to Warsaw after graduation and started working. I realized them - I have my own corner. I like to go to my apartment after work, jump into home clothes and relax while reading or a good movie. That's when I feel really happy.

Maria is 43 years old, has a good job and a group of friends. He goes to the theater, meets people, and goes abroad twice a year. She has several relationships behind her, but has never lived with a man. - I can't open myself to anyone and I don't need to enter into a deeper relationship - she emphasizes. - I'm too independent to compromise. Maybe it was because my house was emotionally cold and my mother was a strict and demanding person. She set me out into a world with low self-esteem, a distrust of people, and a panicky fear of getting hurt. I felt underestimated and unloved, so in order to somehow survive in this emotional desert, I had to find strength in myself.

I like to decide everything myself and I can't imagine that I would change my habits for someone. Maria assures her that she does not suffer from loneliness on a daily basis. Rich inner life makes him not feel empty. - Only sometimes, when an American movie is on TV - such a typical tearjerker about closeness, support, etc., when I see a happy family at the table, I feel a bit sorry - he admits. - I think then that my balance is negative: there are no people around me for whomI would be important, I have no one to leave what I have achieved. Immediately, however, I remember the atmosphere at the table in my house … and it immediately feels easier.

7 million singles in Poland

There are more and more singles in Poland. According to the Central Statistical Office (GUS) data, 7 million Poles live alone. These are mainly people over 25 who live in large cities and work in large corporations. Nearly 50% of them are singles of choice.


You must do it

Happiness is in you - find it!

Try to like each other. Take care of your body and soul, because no one can do it better than you.

  • Move.Do some sport three times a week (e.g. half an hour of gymnastics). Movement improves condition, but also has a positive effect on the mood.
  • Contact people.At least once a week, make time for your friend or loved one and talk to them.
  • Enjoy what you have,instead of constantly complaining about what you are missing. From time to time, think about what you can be grateful for.
  • Take a cat, a dog, or …at least take care of a potted plant.
  • Reduce the time spent in front of the TVand spend it on something else (e.g. reading, gymnastics, relaxing bath).
  • Don't be gloomy.Instead of staring at passersby in the street, smile at them. Look for opportunities to laugh (e.g. by going to comedies).
  • Make yourself a reward every day(a walk, a cookie, reading - what you like) and let yourself enjoy it for a while, without worrying about anything.

Colorful life of a single

Kasia, 35 years old, energetic brunette, works in a large company. She had learned from her family home that marriage was not a source of security for her. - That's why, whenever disagreements start in a relationship, I break up immediately. The fear that someone will hijack my life and hurt me is too strong. For me, freedom is not a value in itself. The value is that I am not afraid, he says. She is a cheerful and sociable person. He leads an active life: participates in culture, goes to clubs with friends, does sports.

- But this is not killing loneliness - emphasizes Kasia. - I am just like that and always have been. I like it when something happens and there is actually no day that I don't go somewhere after work. Lots of people pass through my life. There is still something interesting to do. I don't have time to be alone. For her, life is a compromise between the need for independence and the desire to be with someone.That's why she's never actually alone. - I need intimacy and I feel bad when I am not with a man. So there is always someone there. Now too - confesses Kasia. - We meet, we are good with each other, but at the moment there is no place for him in my house. I look at my friends who have these normal relationships and find most of them unhappy. Marriage certainly has its upsides, but living with someone would I be living a nice life as single?


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