Building a true friendship takes years of tedious work. However, it is worth the sacrifice - you will gain a companion for better and for worse. A true friend is honest, discreet, open and honest. Here's a quick tutorial on how to be a good friend.
Friendsdo not have to be with each other all the time, agree on everything, visit every day and be inseparable - true friends know the limits. They know that sometimes it's better not to impose their company. It's a matter of tact and feeling.
Duties of a perfect friend:
- Keep secrets.If a friend entrusts you with confidential information, it means that she trusts you completely - don't let her down. Don't be tempted to share sensational information with others. Be discreet. Think how would you feel if she made your problem a sensation of the month around the neighborhood?
- Give her support . In difficult times, stay close to her, keep your spirits up, if you can do something that will improve the situation, offer her your help. Sometimes it is enough to know that there is someone who wishes us well and is keeping their fingers crossed for us.
- Talk good about her.Praise her in front of friends and family, and present her person in superlatives to strangers. Never talk over her! Even when you are very angry with her! Always work for her good, in every area of life: private and professional.
- Stand up for her.If someone insults her, take her side. Don't let someone talk badly about your friend - after all, this also offends you!
- Offer your help.If possible, help her with whatever she asks of you. Offer your help to her when you see that she is not coping with something.
- Listen to her confessions.Even if he tells you the same story over and over again! Get her to say something good sometimes - after all, you are not the only one who likes to talk about yourself.
- Be honest and open with her.If you want your relationship to be really close, do not pretend to be anything or anyone. With a friend, you should always take off your mask.
- Be faithful and honest.Never lie to her, not even "for her sake". Always keep your promises.
- Accept her choices Evenif you don't support them, don't harass her if you have a different opinion on the matter! "Whatever you do, you are my friend" does not mean "whatever my friend does is right." Being a friend also comes with the duty of constructive criticism. But if you're already getting your friend's attention, do it for the really important things. Be gentle then, show her your support and understanding.
- Learn to forgive.Your friend as much as you have a right to make a mistake. Nobody is perfect after all. So don't let a little disagreement ruin your friendship.
A real friend knows limits
- Have your own opinion . You don't have to agree with her on everything. She is under no obligation to nod to you either. Unfortunately, too often we assume that our friend certainly thinks the same as we do, so when the truth comes out we are disappointed. And the fact that he has a different opinion on a matter does not mean that he has ceased to be our friend.
- Live your life.You do not need to visit your friend every day, call her in any matter, spend holidays and holidays in her company. You still have family, friends. She has them too - let her live her own life. Let her breathe!
- Be a little mysterious.Never reveal all your cards to a friend. Also, don't get too much intimate information from her. You're not a priest in the confessional, so she'll have to confide in you on everything she's been doing lately - especially in the bedroom.
- Be independent.Learn to make decisions and choices for yourself. And let her do the same. If he does something against your advice, that doesn't mean he is rejecting you - he just has a different idea for his life. It is supposed to be her choice!
- Allow yourself (and her) to be alone.There are times when you prefer to be alone, suffer alone, cry? She feels the same. Do not force your company on her, even if you think it might help her. Understand her feelings and respect your decision.
It can destroy the best friendship
- Big changes in life: . Professional promotion, improvement of the household budget (increase or decrease), but also deterioration of the financial situation (e.g. loss of job, degradation from the position). In the former case, you may be driven by excessive pride, in the latter, by shame or humiliation. Then you act differently, you are not yourself.
- Moving . If you move to another city, it remainsyou only get a phone call, and then horrendous bills! You could get in the car and visit your friend once in a while, but due to lack of time you postpone the visit for "next week".
- New company.You changed your job or apartment. You have met many interesting people in the new place. They are attractive, you spend a lot of time with them, and you miss it for old friends.
- Personal problems . When something bad happens in your life, such as illness or divorce, you automatically withdraw into yourself. You don't want to fester the wound, so you either avoid talking or distance yourself from people.
- Significant disagreement . For example, a friend keeps telling you to part with your toxic fiancé. You think he will change someday. After all, both of you are fed up with verbal fights and … you cut off the relationship.
- Problems and quarrels between families.If your children or partners are at war with each other, they will not allow you to cross enemy territory. Then you limit common contacts to ease the whole situation. And with each passing day, you become more alien to each other.