- Love - he althy heart
- Love - a warm childhood
- Love - good and bad words
- Healing touch
- Alone but not lonely
- How to break the insulation
Love not only changes the world for the better, but also protects against disease! People who experience love have better immunity, a he althier heart, and live longer. The touch of a loving person can be healing. It is worth taking care of successful, harmonious relationships with people.
Experiencing someone else's closeness and good relationships with other people (parents, children, partner, friends) have a huge impact on our he alth. Doctors believe so. In each of us there is an irresistible desire for contact and for experiencing someone's care, tenderness or closeness. Unsatisfied with them causes frustration and may even lower your psychophysical resistance.
"Broken heart" is nothing but suffering from emotional emptiness and hunger for love. A hunger that is so easy to satisfy. Not only through a romantic relationship, but also by opening up to other people and establishing close, deep relationships with them.
Love - he althy heart
American physician, cardiologist Dean Ornish, has conducted many years of research on the relationship between lifestyle and heart disease. On their basis, he concluded that not only the right diet and exercise determine the condition of our vascular system. The feeling of isolation is an equally important pathogen. Alienation increases the sadness and leads to illness. In turn, changing your lifestyle by establishing warm relationships with others can have healing power. Ornish's comprehensive treatment program for people with heart disease (medications plus diet, therapy, support groups, patient interviews, etc.) has produced amazing results.
He showed a correlation between the emotional state of patients and the regression of coronary artery disease. A person who experiences care and understanding, and who is capable of empathy (compassion) alone, is simply he althier!
According to an expertJacek Santorski, psychologistPsychologists have been dealing with love for a long time and trying to describe it. Perhaps Erich Fromm did it best in his book "On the Art of Love". In turn, doctors who study the physiological aspects of love have found that love is the best medicine for most diseases. A person who feels loved and is able to give affection to others is much more resistant to infections, the negative effects of stress, and even to civilization diseases. Love just serves our survival! Research into the role of touch in the healing process led to the uprisinga new branch of medicine, which is psychoimmunology. Today, doctors, observing the human brain, can even distinguish the chemistry of being in love, similar to the state after taking amphetamines, and the chemistry of love, when endorphins are present in the brain.
Love - a warm childhood
Other American studies have found that feeling warm and close to your parents in early childhood has a decisive influence on he alth in adulthood. In the 1950s, over 100 young men at Harvard University completed questionnaires to show their relationship to their parents (very close, friendly, tolerant, cool).
35 years later the same men were tested. 91 percent study participants who admitted in the questionnaire that their contact with their mother was cold, were diagnosed with a serious disease (e.g. coronary heart disease, cancer or alcoholism). Everyone who previously thought that their relationship with both parents was not warm suffered from some serious medical condition.
These studies show that children who are surrounded by love receive greater immune protection as a basis. Does it mean that a person who lacks warmth in the family home is doomed to premature death? Not necessarily. We cannot change the past, but we can change our present life for the better at any time.
Psychologists believe that an intimate, loving relationship in adulthood can wipe out many of the detrimental effects of a heatless childhood. We just need to break down the wall that separates us from other people.
Uncertainty and fear isolate us and separate us from others. Overcoming this fear, on the other hand, gives you the opportunity to experience the most fantastic feeling that only a human can imagine - a sense of community, security and mutual support.
Love - good and bad words
It is not always easy, because the desire for closeness is often accompanied by the fear of getting hurt (especially if someone has already experienced it). However, it is worth the risk. After all, what do we have to lose? Only the willingness to open up gives you the opportunity to make real intimacy. But for that, communication is essential.
The word has great power. It can comfort you, make you happy - it can also hurt. Unfortunately, the biggest problem in interpersonal relationships is the inability to communicate. What we say and how we say - do we talk to each other at all! - decides whether we approach the other person or, on the contrary, we move away from them. We often unknowingly put barricades among ourselves, judging and criticizing each other.
That's why it's important what words we use. If in conversationwe express judgmental and evaluative thoughts - we close ourselves. If we use words to describe our feelings - we open up. Here is a simple example: Instead of the words "I think you are wrong", you can say "I feel hurt by what you say, I'm sorry." In the first case, we isolate ourselves - in the second, we get closer to our partner and encourage further conversation.
Healing touch
In establishing closeness, touch is as important as words. The fact that simply touching someone can have therapeutic power is evidenced by studies conducted in an intensive care unit in one of the American hospitals. It found that patients with cardiac arrhythmias recovered faster when a nurse or doctor touched them to check for a pulse. Irregularities in the heartbeat lasted longer in untouched people, and animals are also sensitive to human touch. This was observed by chance in an experiment in rabbits. Scientists have studied the effect of diet on atherosclerosis. They fed a group of rabbits with food rich in cholesterol. Despite following the same diet, some rabbits were he althier than others. It turned out that atherosclerosis was avoided by those that were within the reach of the lab technician feeding them. The woman stroked them and spoke to them. Animals placed in higher cages did not experience tenderness and … fell ill. The reverse is easy to see: people who keep pets are he althier and more cheerful. Maybe because in contact with an animal we deal with unconditional, free from criticism love, the kind we want in relationships with people. The point is that we experience it most fully when we are able to share it ourselves! Paradoxically, by helping others, we also help ourselves. Selfless concern for someone frees you from isolation and loneliness. It is now known with certainty that people who regularly volunteer get sick less often and live longer than people who have never done so. Compassion and altruism strengthen the immune system. Love can be healing not only for those who feel loved, but also for those who love! This is where her strength lies and her greatest secret.
Alone but not lonely
Love has many faces and appears in many forms - in contact with another person, with a beloved animal, with a spiritual power (whatever we call it). It is experienced by people related to someone, but also living alone. Because being alone doesn't have to mean loneliness. You can feel lonely living under one roof with someone, or you can be overflowing with love in a monastic seclusion. We feel it, hugging a loved one, but also ina conversation with a friend or a passer-by's smile on the street. Millions of people around the world care for each other every day. In small gestures, in everyday rituals, in a tender look, touching a hand. This ability and readiness to love is inherent in human nature. Fortunately! Because warmth and a sense of community are the best we can offer each other. Not only for Christmas …
How to break the insulation
- Think about people you know. How many can you count on? Nurture friendships, maintain contacts.
- Don't shut yourself up at home. Look for opportunities to go out, take part in interesting meetings and events.
- React to the needs of others. Remember that friendship is not only about taking but also about giving.
"When the emotional-spiritual heart begins to open, the physical heart follows in its footsteps." Dean Ornish, "Love and Survival"
monthly "Zdrowie"