Problems with communication in a relationship? Even in the best of marriages there are conflicts and disputes. The problem begins when the partners are unable to deal with them. Regrets, resentments and hidden resentments deepen the crisis and lead to separation. Then the only salvation for the relationship may be therapy.
Even the strongest infatuation with a partner does not guarantee a perfect relationship. At the beginning, when we look at each other through rose-colored glasses thanks to mutual fascination, we usually have no problem building relationships. Infatuated to the ears, we consider a loved one special. She is the most beautiful and the best in every way. Even its flaws seem charming to us. We constantly discover similarities, we want the same. With time, the blindness wears off and we slowly begin to notice that there is much more between us than we thought. There are some misunderstandings about this.
When the idyll ends
Crises in a couple's life can occur for various reasons, such as: pursuit of a career and the related lack of time, willingness to force one's values and expectations towards a partner and relationship, problems related to raising children. But most often these are difficulties in communication. People cannot talk to each other and listen to each other. They are unable to clearly define their needs and role in the relationship or accept that each of us is different. Instead of allowing ourselves to pursue our own goals and develop, within reason, of course, we try to change our partner by force and adjust them to each other. We lose respect for the needs and habits of the other person. Most often, couples miss the moment when their relationships start to deteriorate.
The art of dialogue
At the root of most crises is impaired communication. We do not listen, we impose our reasons, but we are also not assertive, we do not know how to fight for ours, we only hide our regrets inside, which sooner or later lead to the destruction of the relationship. We often transfer the way of communicating at home to our family. If the mother was overbearing, we follow this pattern. When communication improves, usually some other problems resolve themselves. Sometimes the therapist gives homework: something needs to be thought over, described. For example, how do we understand marriage, what are our needs. It turns out then that for one person the sense of security is highaccount, for another - home, warmth, peace. Everyone looks at a relationship by definition. In order to maintain good relations, you need to learn to speak openly about your needs and priorities, which is important to everyone, to which he does not pay attention. Sometimes a couple talk about the same but different language, other times they talk about completely different things, convinced that they mean the same thing. You need to explain all this.
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