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Flirt and betrayal - where one ends and the other begins? Flirtatious conversation at a party, sensual dance, flirting on social media, profile on a dating site, virtual sex - where does the fun end and the betrayal begins? Everyone can see it differently. Check where the boundaries between flirting and betrayal lie!


  1. Flirt and betrayal: when is it safe?
  2. Flirt and betrayal: thin border
  3. Flirt and betrayal: their causes are similar
  4. Flirt and betrayal: painful consequences

Flirt and betrayal- how to distinguish this thin border? Many couples with some experience notice that the initial mutual fascination with each other wears off. We used to spend every free moment with each other, we were charmed and interested in each other, we listened very carefully to each other. With time, something breaks down in many ways. It is more difficult to communicate, dissatisfaction grows, there is no closeness and the feeling that we are still attractive to each other.

We spend our free time apart more often, we miss each other in common dreams, we distance ourselves from each other. Everyday life shared with a partner can be tiring at times. The poor "condition" of the relationship is often one of the reasons for seeking pleasure outside of it. Instead of working on relationships with each other, it's easier to escape into the arms of a lover, forgetting about problems and not getting tangled up in a complicated emotional puzzle.

Unfortunately, research confirms this - every second man and every third woman (CBOS) revealed. The Internet has a lot of "merit" in this. We are just a few clicks away from flirting or cheating. In the report of prof. Zbigniew Izdebski regarding the sex of Poles on the Internet, 42% of women and 48% of men admitted to having sexual contacts outside of a permanent relationship. In addition to social networking sites where you can flirt for power, there are classic dating sites that associate couples with each other, but there are also some for spouses who want to cheat on their partner or partner. Treason is easy today.

Flirt and betrayal: when is it safe?

Each of us has a need for recognition and adoration, and flirting satisfies it. By talking to someone in a flirtatious, slightly ambiguous way, exchanging flirtatious glances and gestures, we play with the moment. We write on the Internet, upload photos, and chat on the camera. Flirting in everyoneAt the moment you can withdraw, because in this game there is no pressure or declarations.

Flirting is one of those things that we often do unconsciously. We "pull in the belly", we show our best side, we want to attract someone to ourselves, gain sympathy or diversify the relationship. We also flirt to cheer ourselves up and build our self-esteem. Safe flirting, however, does not change anything in our relationship with a regular partner, because we only play until a certain point. When one side clearly seduces the other, it is an invitation to something more.

Flirt and betrayal: thin border

It's nice to flirt a little and feel that someone likes us. But the definition of flirting is often subjective, and also depends on gender. When your partner asks a beautiful woman to dance at a party, you are probably seething with jealousy. But when you spend hours browsing your friend's blog or correspond with him on a social networking site, you may not treat it as a threat.

Each couple has a line elsewhere between flirting and betrayal. For some, it is a betrayal to talk to a person of the opposite sex, for others - just a trip to an escort agency, logging in to a dating site or chatting in an erotic chat. Men more often consider sex as cheating, while women are satisfied with the mere emotional disloy alty of their partner. The extreme case are couples for whom even a side jump is just a flirtation. However, for most people, flirting stops before physical contact. It is an atmosphere of conversations, "magic", a smile, but the limit of physicality is not exceeded.

In the case of the Internet, where virtually every relationship is seduction, the lines between flirting and betrayal are blurring. In a study conducted by the portal, 64% of men, but only 36% of women, considered online flirting to be innocent fun.

In turn, the report of prof. Zbigniew Izdebski on the sexual life of Internet users showed that conversations with a stranger about sex are safe for a relationship, but without emotional involvement, for a joke and with the knowledge of the partner. However, if they are held in hiding from him, they are no longer fair for many people. And more than half of women thought it was cheating when talking about sex that was associated with emotional involvement, arousal or masturbation (compared to a third of men).

Meeting someone in real life with a person they met online, hidden from a partner, was a betrayal for almost 72% of women, and for men - for 58%. This shows that the men's approach to treason is more liberal. We rarely date each other on the "extent" of betrayal. Rather, we intuitively sense what is and what is not. If something workstwo people in a relationship, it's okay. But when one of us may feel hurt, it's a sign that we are treading on thin ice.

Flirt and betrayal: their causes are similar

The reasons why we flirt or cheat are similar. Sometimes it may be just a desire to confirm your attractiveness or seek new impressions. These incidents happen even in successful relationships, because some people have a much greater need for stimulation and the new partner provides strong stimuli. Flirting and betrayal are favored by a long stay at work, integration trips drenched in alcohol, holidays.

Often, however, starting an affair is a symptom of a relationship crisis. It can be caused by various situations, such as the birth of a child, financial problems or the abandoned nest syndrome. Communication between partners starts to fail - they do not talk about their problems or expectations or they attack each other with words for any reason.

Instead of supporting each other, they "nurture" their anger towards the other person by moving away from themselves. As a consequence, the deficit of needs grows - there is a lack of warmth, understanding or sexual satisfaction. And from here it is already a step to start some form of flirtation or betrayal of your partner.

As many studies show, in new acquaintances women look for tenderness, emotional support, and if they decide to cheat, they choose someone who is "better" than their partner. They are more likely to have an affair with a person at work or with a circle of friends, and it usually lasts longer. On the other hand, men are looking for sexual sensations, confirmation of their masculinity or a springboard from everyday problems. They cheat on their partners with random women (but not necessarily prostitutes), and their betrayals are often one-off.

Flirt and betrayal: painful consequences

Betrayal - real or virtual - always hurts. Because when a loved one gets involved in a different relationship, it destroys the closeness and uniqueness of what unites us. It ruins the partner's sense of security, undermines self-confidence, and it breaks down trust. Even if it was a meaningless episode for the cheater, the consequences will be felt by both of them. It happens that only betrayal opens your eyes - it can be an excuse to look at your relationship. Whether he can be saved depends on the willingness and willingness of both of them to work on improving their relationship. It is a long process. Perhaps that is why many couples find it easier to part. According to GUS data, in 20221marital infidelity was the second most common cause of divorce (after personality discrepancies), and in most cases the suit was brought by a woman. However, this can be avoided without getting caught up in any romance.

Strengthen your relationship
  • Findtime just for yourself. It can be an evening with a glass of wine, going out for dinner, to the theater, to the cinema or to a spa trip. It is important that you do it systematically, e.g. once or twice a month.
  • Seduce each other. Flirting is one form of stoking the fire in a relationship. The most important thing is a certain amount of mystery and independence.
  • Take care of your appearance. Spare your partner the view of depilating legs or facial masks, and have them clip their toenails in the bathroom.
  • Get out of the bedroom. If you've been in bed for years, sex can get boring. Move to the kitchen, bathroom, make love in front of the mirror. Try new positions, erotic gadgets, striptease.
  • Act together. Cook together, paint the room, prepare a party. It brings you closer and is an opportunity to exchange ideas.
  • Make sure you communicate well. Listen carefully to one another. Talk about what hurts you, but avoid accusations and pointing out your mistakes. Clear up any misunderstandings immediately.

"Zdrowie" monthly


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