There is a clear line between being overprotective and caring for a child. Overprotection occurs when you clean up toys, carry a backpack with books, do your homework, or shove food. And you keep opening the protective umbrella over your baby. If you don't start teaching him independence and responsibility from the beginning, he will be lost and helpless in adulthood.

Overprotective parentsspread a protective umbrella over the child. They do not implement it in basic duties, they do everything. They think for the child and make decisions because they know what's best for him, no matter how old the child is. The paradox is that by wanting the best, they harm the child. When you are holding a toddler's hand while crossing the road - it is an expression of reasonable care. However, if you're driving a teenager to school so he won't run into a car, that's not normal. Because a child of this age should have known how to navigate the streets a long time ago.

Let your child make mistakes - this will help them learn more

You need to help your little child with everything. However, with each passing year - as new skills are acquired - it requires less and less care. True parental love is about supporting a toddler's pursuit of independence according to age and needs. The point is not to leave your child unattended, but to raise them wisely. If they are to go to kindergarten and start life in a peer group, they must be taught to eat independently, to use the toilet and to put on shoes. It is important in his adolescence to let him walk the fine line between childhood and adulthood and slowly pull away a helping hand. According to psychologists, the saying works perfectly well: if you do not fall over, you will not learn, which should function in the parent-child relationship from an early age. When a baby falls over in the playground, he first looks at his mother. When mom panics, he becomes hysterical. If he hears a calm announcement that nothing has happened, he gets up and runs on. A child has to make mistakes in order to learn from them. He must be allowed to do so, within reason, of course. The parents' task is to create such conditions for him to learn independence in a controlled manner, so that he is not afraid of the world. Alreadya few-year-old has to make decisions and bear the consequences of his mistakes.

Don't do everything for the child - let him / her become independent

Mothers are more often overprotective people, although there are also fathers who brought this upbringing from home. Overprotective mothers usually have a neurotic personality - they compensate for their insecurity and fear by taking too much care of the baby. As the child grows, they see more and more dangers. Therefore, they protect them against completely harmless, natural for age experiments, inhibiting motor and cognitive development. "Do not play in the sandbox or you will get dirty", "do not climb the ladders or you will fall." As a result, the child perceives the world as hostile and hostile. The toddler believes that only under the care of his mother can he feel safe, so he does not leave her. He becomes helpless over time. If the mother in good faith still follows the commands and prohibitions, "dress warm or you will catch a cold", "do not wear this dress, only this one", "do not do this and that", then she is raising a child who has very low self-esteem. He then goes through the world without self-confidence. Fearful mothers raise withdrawn, fearful children who will not make any decisions in their lives. Women often place their unsatisfied emotional needs in the child. They put them in the spotlight, subordinate their lives to it, fulfill their duties for it. They try to make the child's life as pleasant as possible, anticipate all his needs, but also program learning and entertainment, because they know best. From an early age, a child is used to the fact that his mother will do everything for them - feed, clean, wash, take, take, write an application, choose a university. There is no room for your own opinion or choices. When women are so strong in their overprotection, fathers try to say something first, but they quickly withdraw, which worsens the relationship. When such a partner's concentration on the child appears, often the man leaves. And then the mother surrounds the child even more.

Overprotection kills individuality

The effects of over-care do not take long. Children brought up under a protective umbrella do not keep up with the social development of their peers. They feel threatened, fearful, and do not acquire new skills because their mothers inhibit their independence. Inability to act independently leads to helplessness and alienation. Sometimes a teenager manages to maintain a bit of individuality - then he remains a submissive child at home and fulfills his needs outside the home feeling guilty. Overprotective mothers believe that a child must enjoy their childhood, and there will be time for chores. Except that this childhood never happenedfor them it doesn't stop there. Where is the child to learn to cope with life with the mother watching over everything? Such children are unable to cope with everyday problems, they endure failures hard, they become more depressed and try to take their own lives. With a dominant mother, the only thing they can influence is food, which is why they sometimes become anorexic. Self-aggressive behavior is also noted among them. Excessive control and doing things make it difficult for a young person to enter adult life, find a job or a partner without resorting to the help of a parent. A child brought up under a lampshade allows other people to control himself, makes dangerous relationships.

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Category:

Psychology