- The psychologist will help you decide whether to tell your loved ones about IVF
- How to tell a child that he or she is IVF?
- FILM: The psychologist talks about support groups for couples struggling with the problem of infertility
- Poles accept IVF
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Although the in vitro method is effective and widely used, couples often feel unacceptable. They also do not know how to tell their relatives that they are patients of the fertility clinic and that their child is IVF.
Future parents of an IVF child are afraid of stigmatization that may affect them and their offspring. Then a need arises to protect oneself from criticism and moralizing. The feeling of being misunderstood and lonely means that a couple often does not inform their relatives that they use the IVF method.
On many internet forums you can read entries of future parents who managed to get pregnant thanks to IVF. Many of them are hesitant to tell their loved ones about it. The most common concerns are whether the decision to fertilize with IVF will be accepted by the close and distant family (it is often related to religious beliefs). Another reason is the fear of pointing fingers and gossiping. A common reason is also protecting the child's future - parents are afraid that the child will be mocked and hurt.
So before any unexpected reactions appear, it is worth analyzing the situation in advance and anticipating the behavior of your loved ones.
Every year in Poland around 5,000 children are born thanks to IVF. According to the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology (ESHRE), 5 million of them have been born worldwide since the late 1970s.
- In order to counteract social isolation, it is worth seeking support from people whom we trust, who are discreet and able to listen without giving advice, criticizing or minimizing the problem - says Sylwia Błach, psychologist at the InviMed infertility treatment clinic in Katowice. - It is important that they accept our choice of treatment and parenting. They may not agree with it, but they will support us in it anyway, because they are guided by our well-being, and not by their system of values and needs. However, if there are no such people at a given moment in our life, then it is worth considering talking to a psychologist - adds the psychologist.
The psychologist will help you decide whether to tell your loved ones about IVF
A couple should be persuaded to make an appointment with a psychologist lasting more than twoweeks of symptoms such as depressed mood, hopelessness, sadness, anxiety and worry. Often, people undergoing fertility treatment feel guilty, have low self-esteem, panic attacks and fear of visiting a doctor. In addition, there are disturbances in the rhythm of sleep and appetite, lack of interest in sex and the desire to constantly isolate oneself. It is also more common to use alcohol or sedative medications, which seemingly help to cope with stress and disturbed sleep rhythms.
A meeting with a specialist should also be considered when these symptoms affect the professional sphere, the quality of relationships with your partner, family and friends, and make everyday functioning difficult.
- Talking to a psychologist is a chance to look at emotions, needs and beliefs regarding treatment and parenting. It gives the opportunity to prepare for IVF surgery, develop constructive ways of coping with stress related to medical procedures, and waiting for the results of tests and treatments. It makes you think to whom, when and whether to say that we have problems getting pregnant and makes you aware of how to ask for support - adds Sylwia Błach.
How to tell a child that he or she is IVF?
The question of whether to tell a child that he or she was conceived using IVF raises many concerns and doubts. Future parents should start to deal with it and get used to it at the stage of making a decision about treatment.
If parents decide that they want their child to know how it was conceived, they should prepare for the interview - choose a time and discuss the pros and cons with their partner.
- If we decide to tell the child, a good opportunity to start such a conversation may be the moment when the children start to be interested in where they came from. Vocabulary and explanation should be adapted to the age and stage of development of the child. A small child is satisfied with a short notice that the parents could not have a child easily because they had he alth problems. The older one can try to explain what IVF is and what it is, of course, still adapting the language and medical terminology to its cognitive abilities - advises Sylwia Błach from InviMed. When explaining to the child the method of his conception, it is necessary to make him feel and know that it was expected and desired, that we are happy, that he is with us and that we love them very much.
However, in the event that the parents decide that the child will not know which method was born, they should not tell anyone else about it. This means that only the child's parents and employees know about IVFinfertility treatment clinics. No friend, sister or grandmother can find out about it either. This is very important because such news spreads very quickly, despite promises to be kept secret. Some, even the most trusted people, at some point may say about IVF in good faith or completely unconsciously.Important
It is necessary to inform the doctor in charge of the pregnancy or delivering the child about the IVF pregnancy.
FILM: The psychologist talks about support groups for couples struggling with the problem of infertility
Poles accept IVF
Poles are becoming more and more aware of the scale of the phenomenon of infertility, thanks to which they look at methods of its treatment differently than in the past. Public opinion poll conducted by CBOS in November 2014 shows that 79 percent. of adult Poles support the possibility of using the IVF procedure - this percentage has increased by 6% over the last 10 years.
Contrary to social acceptance, the topic of in vitro fertilization is still taboo in many environments. When a couple decides to undergo IVF treatment, it is often necessary to consider ethical, moral and religious dilemmas. Myths about in vitro fertilization, ignorance resulting from ignorance of indications for use and treatment with this method, as well as awareness of differences in world views raise concerns.