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Successful relationship or job? Today it is a dilemma for many people. Because work, when you have it, often consumes all your time and energy. How to create a successful relationship when you spend all days, often nights and weekends in the office?
Even the most successfulrelationshipmay not last when youwork a lot . In order to be with ourselves, it takes time and the presence we give ourselves. Otherwise, we begin to live side by side. How to cultivate a relationship when, in order to maintain a steady job (and income), we agree to work on Christmas Friday, from morning to night? Or are we chasing from one job to another?
Successful relationship. Work will not replace a loved one
The first question to ask yourself is: do I have to work so much? Contrary to appearances, employees who are at their beck and call and devote everything to work, do not enjoy great respect among employers. The boss may then think he has us in his pocket. We will never stand up, because we are like a faithful dog, an intimidated slave, a workhorse( delete as appropriate). You also have to set limits for bosses. Although some will try to intimidate us, blackmail us (financially, emotionally, disciplinarily), in the end an employee who can say no has a stronger position than a submissive one.
The second question should be: do I want to work so much? Answering them may show our true relationship to work and relationship. Maybe we are workaholics? If so, it is high time to heal, because workaholism is an addiction that is as dangerous as alcoholism, gambling, sex addiction or other drugs. It devastates our psyche, he alth and relationships. The matter becomes even more complicated when, when answering the question: do I want to work so much, we come to the conclusion that we fall into work escaping from intimacy. Then the relationship is at stake. First of all, we should change ourselves and find out why we run away from closeness and intimacy. Are we afraid of loss, betrayal, profession, dependence? Or maybe professional prestige and money are more important to us than a close relationship? It is worth remembering that work will not love us. Even the best employer will abandon us when he is comfortable with everything we have given him. Work will not hug us and serve us tea with lemon. And she won't be walking with us in retirement.
Successful relationship. Cultivate moments
If we want to be together and we are able to maintain a balance in looking at our professional activities, even with a lot of work, we will find time for ourselves. It can be arranged that we have at least one evening a week only to ourselves. That it would be on fire, pounded - we do not answer business calls and we do not check the business e-mail. The world will not collapse if something happens without our participation. If we have good, cooperative colleagues at work - you can make an appointment who responds to professional calls after hours. And that way, everyone will get some privacy and won't be on permanent stand-by. The second way is to make our contacts, the time we spend together, intense. Let's give up watching stupid movies or talk shows, indifferent conversations about nothing. For example, having dinner together can be a lot of fun and build a relationship. Playing together or shopping, spending time together with the children, cleaning, walking the dog - there are thousands of things you can do together, even just for a moment. What matters is closeness, contact and community. Then no job will break what's between us.