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A crisis in a relationship does not have to end in a break-up - you can always try to mend a damaged bond. The key question, however, is whether the partners are ready to fight for their relationship and make the necessary compromise. Only sincere willingness and a genuine commitment to rebuilding the relationship can help stave off a crisis in a relationship. If your partner does not show them, the path to understanding can be difficult, and sometimes impossible.

Relationship crisissooner or later every couple is affected. It is important to notice its signs in time and try to repair the relationship. Ignoring the symptoms of a crisis in a relationship can create an impassable barrier between partners. In such a situation, rebuilding mutual bonds is especially difficult because it requires a lot of patience, empathy and dedication.

Read on for tips on how to deal with a crisis in your relationship and renew your relationship with your partner.

Signs of a crisis in a relationship

A one-off argument doesn't have to mean there's a relationship crisis. What distinguishes a major crisis from a temporary misunderstanding is its duration and the severity of symptoms. The violent clash between partners allows you to expel negative emotions and clear the atmosphere. After such an "explosion" we usually quickly return to the state of equilibrium. Worse, if quarrels are replaced by indifference and a feeling of alienation from the partner - it is a sign that we cease to care about the relationship. We feel that day by day we are getting more and more apart and neither side wants to initiate a re-rapprochement. Contact with another person is limited only to trivial, everyday matters, we do not want to spend time together, eat at the same table, go to the cinema. Tenderness and the need for closeness fade away, the lack of sex becomes the norm.

If this is what our relationship with a partner looks like, it is a sure sign that we are dealing with a crisis in our relationship.

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The best way to overcome a crisis - an interview

To overcome a crisis in a relationship, we first need to be honest about what we don't like or irritate in our relationship with our partner. Avoiding conversation and sweepingUnder the rug problems, the worst thing we can do in such a situation. The crisis will not go away by itself, it can only get worse as a result of the build-up of mutual grievances.

In order for the conversation to bring the expected result, you need to restrain your emotions and show understanding and empathy. Although it is difficult, especially when the partner's words hurt us, it is important to realize that an aggressive attitude automatically triggers aggression in the other party. Two people screaming and calling each other will never come to an agreement, at best they will become even more convinced of their convictions. Therefore, when talking about your feelings, talk calmly and carefully listen to what your partner has to say. You should definitely avoid:

  • to blame - instead of blaming the other person for anything wrong, let them know the truth about our feelings, for example: "it hurts me when you do this" or "your words hurt me". Thanks to this, the partner has a chance to feel in our position and is more likely to think about how his behavior affects our well-being.
  • judging - any judgment is subjective by definition, and people don't like it when we give ourselves the right to say what they feel and what they are. You may think that your partner doesn't want to understand, but maybe they don't really know how to do it, because instead of communicating your feelings, you focus too much on criticizing them.
  • insults - sarcasm, malicious taunts or insults destroy the dialogue and reduce the discussion to a mutual skirmish, in which only who will hurt the other person the most important. No compromise is possible in such a situation.

Read also: Successful relationship or work? Or maybe it can be reconciled?

When is therapy needed?

We are not always able to deal with a crisis in a relationship on our own. Sometimes the conflict is so advanced that only an outsider's sober gaze can help. It is not about dragging other family members into the dispute - not only is it rude to blame them with your problems, but it can also aggravate the crisis. Especially when we ask for help from in-laws who often only favor one side of the conflict.

We need a person who will objectively assess the situation, identify the source of the crisis and propose the best solution. It can be a psychologist or a specialist in marital therapy. The price of one visit to a private therapist is approximately PLN 140 per hour. Therapy usually lasts from several weeks to several months, so its total cost is quite high. It will be cheaper if we find a facility thathas a signed contract with the National He alth Fund.

What if the therapy is unsuccessful?

Therapy with a specialist is the last resort. If it fails, separation or divorce (if the relationship is legalized) is probably the only solution. Before we decide to take this last step, it is worth living separately for some time and calmly reflecting on the future of the relationship. First of all, you need to ask yourself if we have the strength and willingness to give our partner another chance. It happens that from the very beginning we unconsciously refuse to save the relationship because our partner has hurt us too much and we have completely lost our trust in him. Then no treatments and therapies are able to convince us to renew our mutual ties. It is also necessary to consider whether rebuilding the relationship makes sense when it comes to violence and aggression, not only the physical one. If the other person does not respect us, openly hates or hostility towards us, any attempts to overcome the crisis no longer make sense.

Read also: The perfect relationship, or how best to pair up?

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