It's hard to come to terms with the loss of a part of yourself, but there is also a problem - tell your partner about the hysterectomy or not? And how will he take it? How to talk about a previous hysterectomy, explains Monika Kosowicz, a clinical psychologist.

We usually think that what happens under the influence of a disease can significantly change our life, and most of all our relationship with our partner. Women in particular are affected, although men are also not free from such fears. But it doesn't have to be that way.

Hysterectomy - the big change

A woman who has had all or part of her reproductive organs removed is in a very difficult situation. If you have lived for several dozen years with the feeling that we have ovaries, a uterus, that physiological processes run smoothly, that they repeat themselves, it is difficult to accept the fact that we have changed the facts. The same is true for menopausal women, where the body is undergoing a great deal of change. It's like a kind of mourning for losing a part of yourself. So, tell or not to tell your partner about the course ofsurgery , organ removal? In my opinion, revealing the whole truth depends on what happened in the relationship before. What kind of relationships existed between the partners before the operation took place. If they were truly friendly,hysterectomyshould not be a reason to change them.

Hysterectomy - important self-acceptance

After the removal of appendages (including other organs, such as breasts), many women unconsciously activate a defense mechanism, which in psychology is called the projection mechanism. Everything we think about ourselves, our fears, the lack of acceptance of what has happened, make us transfer our perception of "reality" to other people, often to our partner. If a woman does not accept herself, she thinks others will not accept her either. But it doesn't have to be that way. Much depends on how much truth we can tell our partner about ourselves. If someone is with us for good and bad, he will stay with us. If he leaves because he cannot accept the new situation, it can be assumed that there has never been honesty and deep feelings in this relationship. Perhaps the operation has become a good excuse to free yourself from an uncomfortable relationship. Deciding how honest you can afford is entirely up to your relationshipbetween spouses, from the thought patterns they adopt and the cognitive abilities of both parties.

Hysterectomy - harmful stereotypes and patterns

Society has strange rules for judging what is normal and what is not. We classify most of the events and people quite quickly. This is good, this is bad. A woman who has no reproductive organs is not different or weird. No - she is often a better mother, wife, lover than her he althy peers who avoid closeness with a partner out of boredom. This is not an operationto remove the uterusthat cripples feelings. We are usually emotionally crippled by life, the lack of honest conversations and the inability to show our feelings. Hiding the truth is pointless. The woman thinks, “You are in love with me, but like a different, empty woman. It's good you don't know about it. But not telling the truth teaches us to live a lie. Innocent lies, however, create increasingly heavier luggage, which the woman cannot cope with. This can lead to a split personality. I know from experience that good relationships are not broken down by illness or surgery.

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Category:

Psychology