Lonely holidays are a very difficult period for those who experience them - after all, Christmas is the most family-like of all holidays. This is when the lack of a second half hurts the most. What to do to make lonely Christmas successful after all? Here are our tips for singles and singles for Christmas - read on how to survive the lonely holidays in good shape.

Lonely holidaysusually hard to survive. The sight of happy couples doing Christmas shopping, carols flowing from everywhere, all this Christmas mess mercilessly make the lonely people aware that the closeness of the other person is really important. The multitude of media messages, childhood memories and adopted social patterns of behavior make unmet needs hurt more now. This problem is mainly faced by people who are forced to do so alone. A loved one has died or passed away. If there is still mourning, the grief and despair are so great that even a house full of people will not fill the void.

It is also difficult for people who have not made a family life. Loneliness is painfully experienced by people living in emotional triangles. Some people have been lonely for many years because they have no one close to them. This applies not only to the elderly and the sick. Many singles, who are doing great on a daily basis, also suffer from loneliness during the holidays.

Contents:

  1. Lonely holidays: what to do by yourself?
  2. Lonely holidays: don't pretend they're not there
  3. Lonely holidays: help others
  4. Lonely holidays: in mourning
  5. Lonely holidays: time to reflect

Lonely holidays: what to do by yourself?

Some people are on duty at work, others go skiing with friends or to warm countries. Someone is visiting extended family, because among cousins ​​he does not feel completely alone in the world. Someone else is hiding in the house.

These are mainly young people, single by choice, who focus their lives on making a career. Holidays are a time for them when they can finally do something for themselves. They read books they haven't had time to read, they make up for their sleep deficit, and they do what they enjoy. And because such people usually have a lot of friends, after family Christmas Eve and wishes from "kind" aunts to arrange their lives, they arrange Christmas meetingswith friends.

It's hard to find universal advice for lonely holidays. One thing is for sure: to be successful, you need to relax. And how we spend them depends to a large extent on ourselves. We will not change our situation overnight, we will not find a prince charming under the Christmas tree, so we must make good use of what is there. According to the theory of crisis used in psychology, each crisis can be developmental. Let's stick to that!

Lonely holidays: don't pretend they're not there

Don't think of Christmas as the worst. Stop telling yourself that Christmas will be painful, because without a partner you will feel like a fifth wheel on a cart. After all, you are not passive, instead of feeling sorry for yourself, try to "weave" into the group you want to be with these days.

Say openly that you have nobody to spend Christmas with, ask if you could come over. Certainly there are friends who will be happy to invite you, but they may not read your expectations themselves. And at the table, the hosts will make sure that you do not feel lonely among the guests, that you have someone to talk to.

Decorate the Christmas tree at home for yourself, not for someone else. Invite friends or people like you lonely. Believe me, there is no obligation to sit with the family at the table during the holidays, surrounded by a group of children. You can propose a meeting other than the stereotypical one: in sports clothes during a long walk in the forest. An alternative is also going to a holiday resort somewhere nice.

You can also join charity, help in the preparation of holidays in an orphanage or social welfare, organize a collection of gifts, make colorful packages and bring the children to the hospital. Or maybe it is this Christmas that something will change your life?

Worth knowing

According to CBOS data from 20221 , for Poles, Christmas is primarily a family holiday, not a religious one. 27% of us focus on the religious aspect and 53% on the family aspect.

The most celebrated Christmas tradition is making wishes - as many as 99% of us do, sharing a wafer - 98%, and visiting each other - 94%. 90% of Poles find gifts under the Christmas tree, much less of us invite a poor or lonely person to Christmas Eve - 35%. A larger percentage shares the wafer with animals - 40%.

Very few people spend Christmas alone. The data from 2011 shows 2% of Poles lonely on Christmas, the ones from 2015 - only 0.3%.

Lonely holidays: help others

It is worth looking around, maybe there is a lonely elderly person in our environment, sick or infirm. Let's invite her to Christmas Eve or Christmas dinner, or at least ourselveslet's come with a Christmas headdress, a gift, a piece of cake or Christmas carp.

Some of them have families, but for various reasons they end up in nursing homes or hospitals, where they stay for the holidays. It is not true that the old man does not care. Feelings of loneliness and mental suffering worsen his he alth. You have to remember this.

Lonely holidays: in mourning

Christmas is especially difficult for people who have lost a loved one. How much it depends on the relationship. Psychologists advise, however, not to defend yourself against meeting with relatives or friends. Sometimes people feel embarrassed to invite the bereaved person because they are afraid of not saying them. Then it is worth proposing to organize joint holidays yourself.

Mourning people often say that they will not be spoiling someone's holidays with their sadness. It is up to them themselves what they will do with this sorrow. It's hard to "turn off" grief, but you can not talk about it at the table.

Iflonely holidaysresult from divorce, memories and associated emotions also disturb the holiday mood. When someone is sad, he cannot be told to be happy. Some people prefer to be alone and this must be respected. But without insisting you leave the gate then: you can always come to us.

Lonely holidays: time to reflect

We make summaries during the holidays. So let's think about your life, whether it really suits us. Are you a committed single who feels lonely during the holidays, or are you alone against your will? If you don't want to be alone, why are you?

Maybe you have isolated yourself from people, you have difficulty making contacts, you are afraid or ashamed of them. Some people want to be alone, but it's unnatural that we withdraw from close relationships. Then there is usually a second bottom to look for - bad relationships in the family home, disappointed friendship, love, low self-esteem. This needs to be changed to be different for future holidays.

If you are in conflict with your family, think about how to resolve it; when you don't have friends - what can you do to find them; you are afraid of a new relationship - how can you open up to a relationship.

Women who are alone during Christmas because they have had an affair with a married man should think about what they expect from such an arrangement. When there is no future, being stuck in it is blocking the way to another, already satisfying relationship.

If you cannot deal with a problem on your own, consult a psychologist. Sometimes a conversation is enough, sometimes psychotherapy is needed.

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  • How to spend Christmas in a good atmosphere?
  • Christmas with the family: let's create our own traditions!

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Category:

Psychology