In Sztuka kochania, Michalina Wisłocka shares her ways to diversify her sex life. The famous Polish sexologist argues that the basis of successful sex is fun, energy and spontaneity. It proposes, among others naked dancing, frolics in the bathtub and … a pillow fight. Because, according to Wisłocka, "a man who is amused, laughing, relaxed enjoys life and experiences all physical caresses much deeper and more intensely".

Learn about Michalina Wisłocka's ways to diversify her sex life, which she described in her iconic guideSztuka kochania . Despite the passage of years, the advice contained in it is still surprisingly up-to-date. Perhaps because little has really changed? As early as 1976, Wisłocka wrote: "Maybe we could have fun once, only in the insane mill of life we ​​lost the key to these things. We considered play unnecessary, absorbing precious time and initiative. (…) Boring love is a typical bloom of urban life, monotonous and unimaginative. It seems that today, when even more of us live in cities and we are short of time, these words have become relevant.

So how do you have fun to make your sex life more spontaneous, joyful? Read the advice of Michalina Wisłocka taken fromArt of loving .

1. Evening dances

Let's dance at home! I already mentioned dancing naked to make some moves. The two of you can play in a similar way. After dinner, at a nicely laid table, enriched with a special favorite delicacy made for two, and a glass of wine (one!), With music.

Dances should be enriched with various erotic elements. Here we have a huge field for creativity. Regardless of the playful and sexual values, the evening dances for two are of great value as a relaxing and relaxing gymnastics that takes us away from the troubles of everyday life. We are left alone, we move away from the great everyday matters and enter our own world for two. Evening games that precede love nights are a barrier between the troubles of the day and our love, which should give you complete physical and mental relaxation.

2. Playing in the bathtub

The second type of evening entertainment is water games. If the bathtub is large enough, you can put a sponge mat on the bottom. Onadd heat, hot water or shower in advance and we have a whole range of options to choose from, according to our own will and imagination.

When using bathroom appliances for sexual purposes, you can use a soft sponge, soaped and soaked in warm water; we move it from the clitoris to the perineum and back, and such strokes may be accompanied by vigorous tapping around the pubic mound; we do it by sitting in cross-legged tub and leaning back or reclining with legs crossed over the sides of the tub. Of course, we do not give up irritating the nipples with a warm, strong shower, teasing the fingers and tickling. In turn, it is also worth directing a shower with warm water with a strong stream on the area of ​​the pubic mound and lower abdomen, in order to displace the blood into the lower parts of the body, which increases the sensitivity to erotic stimuli from the vaginal vestibule and clitoris, and often leads to orgasm.

>>>Sex in the shower - how to make love in the bathroom?

3. Pillow fight ( shindai )

There is a view among psychologists that shindai helps to relieve aggressive moods and long-held grudges, thus restoring marital harmony.

It is worth mentioning a very old Japanese customshindai . This is a pillow fight - instead of an argument with my wife. Such a fight is said to be the most effective way to defuse growing marital conflicts. (…)

Oda Kadeda, the theoretician of the contemporaryshindai , described eight thousand and forty ways of "cushioning" the opponent, from which it is clear how you can diversify the games for two when the imagination is right. The complicated ritual described by Kadda requires that each blow of the pillow against the opponent be underlined with an apology. The opponent, on the other hand, lets out shouts, groans and heavy sighs when he is hit by a pillow. The fight must be accompanied by the spouses' discussion about the dispute.

Japanese also specify when and on what occasionsshindaiapplies in a marriage. First of all - "whenever the differences of opinion between the spouses make them forget about the tenderness that unites them". Secondly, the Japanese useshindaialso in situations "when the spirit of the spouse is not cheerful enough to honor the gods of the bed". As it turns out, the Japanese pillow fight also tends to distract the spouses from the gray matters of everyday life and put them in a physically and mentally more loving mood.

The fight continues until one of thesides capitulate or the pillow bursts, drowning the opponent in a cloud of feathers. A partner resigning or ripping his pillow without his weapon exclaims:Sawattewhich means: "I make you the master of the final decision."

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Let's finally learn to enrich our sex life with an infinite amount of caresses, jokes, playful games, chases, swimming feats … Let's recall the leading slogan of my sexology - let's go back to the joyful fun for two in bed and not in bed. Finally, you have to understand thathappiness lies on the way, not at the goal, and the less we chase after it, the more we get in the end. An amused, laughing, relaxed person enjoys life and experiences all physical caresses much deeper and more intensely than the one who, working hard, must (?) Achieve orgasm.

4. Sleeping sex on vacation

On vacation, we have a huge scope for our sexual imagination, because conditions different from everyday life open up many opportunities. For example, love in a sleeping bag. How much do you have to combine, how to caress and how to give yourself maximum pleasure and satisfaction in a space where we can barely move. Or maybe we would try an almost motionless intercourse, during which we use kissing, brushing, tickling eyelashes, touching, stroking, playing with our partner's hair (ears are not to be disdained either). Staying "organ" still, you can increase sexual arousal with the help of muscle contractions of the female reproductive organ, small movements of the partner's and partner's pelvis. By using a wide range of various caresses and methods that create ad hoc, in a limited space, people without imagination, we achieve greater or lesser sexual satisfaction, which is preceded by a wide range of tenderness and caresses. And we must understand that it is not for the purpose itself, but for the we alth of elements that make up the path to that goal.

5. Nude bathing in the lake

A lake, the sun, a secluded place where we can afford dolphins in the costume of Adam and Eve. Swimming naked in warm water teaches our skin to react to small tickles and grazing the water wave, creates - contrary to the previous situation - the possibility of maximum mobility and incredible acrobatics. In the kingdom of Archimedes, where the body loses weight as much as the water it displaces, it becomes as light as a feather, which makes it possible to carry a partner even on one hand, not just on two. Sneaking out, agile escapes, chases, rubbing, hugging and kissing, playing in the water like fish.Braiding and touching each other with the whole body in standing, lying positions, even upside down when who can dive. And again the pedant will ask: how can you have sex in water? Maybe you can, maybe you can't, but there is a lot of fun, wonderful memories for the entire fall and winter, and the finale? Well, the finale is so common. Maybe, maybe not …

This will be useful to you

Quotes fromArts of loveto remember

Haste is an unforgivable mistake in love.

There are no cold women, only sexually awake women.

Total nudity is asexual. Even the fig leaf is more exciting.

Discoveries made in the field of sex after marriage can be dangerous or at least unpleasant, making life extremely complicated.

Coquetry, like white and black in painting, gives life value and vividness, protects love from boredom and monotony. Forcing your partner to wait, refresh desires and longings, both physical and mental, is an exercise of imagination, increasing the intensity of feelings and consciously increasing sexual tension

6. Game for fancy

In addition to the games listed above, used to diversify sexual contacts, there is another type of game. These are fan games with a bonus for the winner. The Kamasutra already gives a description of the game of kissing. "Playing kisses should enhance the feeling of love and beautify it." In Poland, there are also many party games for fancies that can be used in games for two. We play hands, play, pillow war and every game we can think of. (…)

And how are the fancy items to look like in the games I propose? Very differently, depending on the imagination, willingness and sense of humor of the people playing. For example, I propose two forms of compensating for a loss. The first - the winner expresses the wish that he / she wants to be caressed by the partner "in his own way" - which suits him best. He gains a chance to get along with his beloved or loved one and accept with humor various small claims, weaknesses or shortcomings. If the silence surrounding these matters is broken and the lovers begin to discuss their sexual feelings, there is a wide way to improve, correct, and fully coordinate responses. You can then bring to light what we hid so far, what we don't like, or propose what we like and what gives us the greatest pleasure during caresses. Free conversation about sex matters - it is a significant profit from winning.

Secondpossibility - the winner decides who will caress whom today. The winning partner chooses the role of a "princess of wood", that is, an object of caress, or an active lover, at will. There can be two versions of this bonus: all caresses even including orgasm, but without intercourse, or full intercourse - but only one side is active until the end, the other allows you to caress.

In the first version, endless with intercourse, we provide an opportunity to observe the partner's physical and emotional reactions. (…) By caressing our partner without haste, we show much more ingenuity and initiative. In addition, it is a lot of fun to discover various hitherto unknown sexual responses when, under normal conditions, the relationship obscures the details and does not allow you to concentrate on them. (…)

In this game, we learn to consciously control the build-up of pleasure in our partner. We learn by caressing to observe what caresses, words, touches initiate erection (mental, auditory, visual or physical stimuli), how the intensity of the symptoms of increasing sexual tension changes. In a word, by caressing a partner without haste, we learn the physiology of his organs, we see how sexual reactions arise spontaneously, depending on external, not mental, stimuli. As I have emphasized many times, the biggest mistake in love is rushing.

The second version of winning - this is the ratio during which all activity is the role of one of the partners, and the roles are divided by the winner. Here a man can shine with ingenuity in choosing caresses or positions during intercourse, and a woman has an even greater field to show off. Bringing her to an erection and full readiness of her partner is not so difficult, but then she has to conduct the intercourse in such a way that all the activity is on her side. The most favorable for these caresses is the position of the rider or the reverse lying - a woman on a man. The woman herself introduces the penis into the vagina, and then tries, not moving at all, using only her own muscles, only contractions and waves, to bring the man to orgasm.

The excerpts from the book come from the new edition of "Sztuka kochania" by Michalina Wisłocka, which was published by the Agora publishing house.

A book that tells you how to live … so that you want to love.

Michalina Wisłocka, a sexual revolutionist - a pioneer in combating infertility and popularizing contraception. It destroyed conventions, undermined authorities and, most of all, healed, inspiring people to discover their own desires. By teaching how to deal with intimacy in a relationship, she has become a part of many couples' lives and influencedthe quality of their relationship.The art of lovingis her guide for couples. First released in 1976, it had a record 7 million copies sold and tens of thousands of pirated reprints. Despite the passage of time, it still amazes with its topicality. Wisłocka not only describes sexual positions and games, but also reflects on the nature of love and the need to understand others. And above all, it shows us that LOVING IS AN ART.

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Art of love