It seems that the victims of some addictions are more often women than men. Does gender really matter? Alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, food, work, sex, gambling, shopping, internet, television… Addiction has many faces. Learn the mechanisms of addiction

Addiction is easy to fall for. It starts with a drink after work, a cigarette at a party, a game of bridge or visiting a dating site. After that, more and more often you use a substance or perform a specific activity to quickly reduce stress and improve your mood.

And suddenly it turns out that when something is missing, discomfort appears. This is how the addiction sneaks into life. It absorbs attention, a lot of time, and finally begins to rule a person, making everything else - loved ones, hobbies, personal development - ceases to count. But the addicted person does not want to admit the problem for a long time. He persuades himself and others that he is in control of everything. He is great at justifying his own behavior, and at the same time he constantly finds excuses to be addicted. As F.W. Nietzsche: "problems gain strength when we deny their existence." This mechanism is independent of gender and temperament. So what determines this? And is there something about addictive behavior that makes the two genders different?

Women or men are more prone to addiction?

Getting into any addiction is always associated with emotional problems. In substances or compulsive behaviors, a way is sought to reduce perceived tension. Some people will find relief from drinking a glass of wine, another from buying another branded watch, and yet another by playing slot machines or masturbating. But all addictions only relieve pain for a moment. They do not free you from problems, but only increase them. They are not conducive to a better understanding of your emotions. They are only their "jammer". The problem, however, is much deeper, because the predisposition to addiction is influenced by many factors. They are often, for example, abuse that was experienced in childhood, traumas. This applies to both emotional (e.g. authoritarian, cool parenting), physical and sexual abuse. Interestingly, e.g. in the case of erotomania (addiction to sex, cybersex, pornography) - as shown by research conducted in the USA in the 1990s - the use ofin childhood, it is equally related to women and men (97% of them were emotionally abused, 72% physically, and 81% sexually). The sex addict acts out his childhood experiences - past abuse scenarios - but now he acts as an abuser for himself or another person. In addition to various methods of use in childhood, the development of addiction is also influenced by the neurobiology of the brain, and more specifically - the level of neurotransmitters: endogenous opiates and beta-endorphins. When they are out of balance, the likelihood of becoming addicted is high if additional factors are also present, such as family emotional deprivation or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

We get addicted because the brain likes easy solutions

What our addictions seem to be is also addictive culture. Consumerism - orientation towards quick satisfaction, trust in technology - belief in easy solutions, looking for entertainment and escape instead of giving meaning to life, loss of value, family breakdown - feeling of abandonment, high level of stress, denial of limitations.

Modern man does not fix anything - from the microwave oven to relationships in a relationship - if he breaks down, he only "throws it away" and gives himself new ones.

Unable to endure legitimate suffering or even small daily hassles. This fits well with the characteristics of addiction, which is very rewarding very quickly, without any special effort. At any time, you can drink your suffering, use drugs, eat something, run away to some activity on the Internet to feel relieved. And it does not matter that, for example, a trip to the mountains will give you more satisfaction and joy. It is easier, for example, to buy alcohol and drink than to climb to the top, because our brain loves shortcuts.

Addiction Equality

All this makes addiction a democratic disease. It affects young and old people, people of high economic status and the poorer, and above all, both women and men. There is no such indicator that a woman can become more addicted and a man less. But some types of addiction (diagnosed 250 of them!) Affect women more often, others men - at least in the ordinary sense. For example, women are more likely to fall into shopaholism, watch TV series, eat sweets, become addicted to painkillers or sleeping pills, or to other people (co-addiction). On the other hand, men more often use stimulants, play computer games, surf the Internet, watch pornographic films, become addicted to sports or dietary supplements. Butthere is no rule, because, for example, in the USA, rich ladies in their sixties fall into the clutches of a typically male gambling. Among men, you can also meet shopaholics (e.g. gadget lovers addicted to buying the latest phone models) or men who are addicted to overeating, and among women - kleptomaniacs. In the group of workaholics, although men are dominant, there are also women in high positions. On the other hand, at meetings for anonymous alcoholics, more men are seen than women, which does not mean, however, that there are fewer women who drink - they often do not come to therapy, because "women's drinking" is burdened with greater shame.

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Does temperament affect addiction?

As large studies in the United States have shown, susceptibility to addiction is also not related to the type of temperament. So it doesn't matter whether someone is, for example, a choleric or a melancholic - everyone can get addicted to the same degree.

Important

The trap of codependency

The addiction of the partner has an impact on the functioning of the family. Most often, a codependent person lives the life of a sick person, adjusts his life to it, controls him, checks him, frees him from oppression, lies, protects, tries to help, and at the same time justifies his actions and protects against the consequences of addiction. Trying to maintain a relatively stable situation in the family, he sacrifices himself for the other person, gives up fulfilling his needs and dreams, loses his own identity. But her efforts unfortunately help the addict to stay addicted. This vicious circle is broken by being treated by a co-addicted person, which is now promoted by the World He alth Organization. The recovery of anyone from the addicted family (e.g. a wife, an adult child) changes the current system, which starts the process of change. The goal of therapy is different, new help for the addicted partner (the old ways are already exhausted!), Learning new behaviors, ordering your emotions, separating your own life from someone else's. Visiting a specialist should not be postponed, because the longer the toxic situation in the family lasts, the greater the emotional loss for all of its members.

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12 steps to addiction control

Addiction therapy is most often based on a 12-step program developed by Alcoholics Anonymous, also adapted by other communities. It is a set of recommendations for the addicted or co-addicted person to help them gradually regain control over their life. It begins with recognizing the powerlessness against the addiction. Then there is entrusting yourself to strengthhigher, recognizing your own mistakes, repairing damage, and sharing your message with others. The full text can be found at www.aa.org.pl

How to get out of addiction "forever"?

Recovery from addiction is tedious and time-consuming, regardless of gender. Treatment requires a lot of effort and, above all, motivation to change your life. But the addicted person does not usually seek help himself. He lasts a long time in the system of illusions and denials, explaining his behavior. Until they feel the effects of addiction, such as loss of job, family, he alth (e.g. AIDS) or life achievements. Undergoing therapy (usually it takes 2 years) gives you a chance to regain freedom and joy in life, understand yourself and gain the ability to cope with life without supporters.

Merely not drinking or using drugs for a number of years does not guarantee that the addicted person will not return to the addiction. Because true recovery is self-development, a change in lifestyle and thinking. If a person stops, it starts to back up, like on an escalator going down. Therefore, in order not to return to the addiction, you have to work on yourself for the rest of your life.

Substance addiction seems to be a bit easier to treat, because the withdrawal itself is the beginning of recovery. In behavioral addictions, on the other hand, a person uses himself (he carries his "drug bag" inside him) and it is socially invisible (he is not drunk, he does not smell tobacco from him), but his head may be unbelievable thinking operations .

For example, an erotomaniac does not have to do anything like a gambler who is betting something. He uses his mind and body, he doesn't have to go anywhere, buy any substance or even turn on the computer - all he needs is his own fantasy and ideas. The problem today is that addictions rarely occur in isolation due to an addictive culture. They become multi-addictions more often. The "package" includes, for example, a gambler, alcoholic, nicotinist, erotomaniac. It's also very easy to turn one addiction into another.

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