Stalking is a relatively new concept in our society, but the phenomenon it describes has existed for centuries. Stalking is nothing more than prolonged, persistent harassment, despite the objections of the harassed person. Stalking can be experienced, among others. at work, on the Internet or by phone - when the stalker, i.e. the perpetrator, torments the person with constant attempts to contact him. Read what exactly is stalking and how you can help yourself if you experience it. Find out also how the issue of stalking in Poland is regulated by law.

Stalking- how to define it?Stalkingoccurs when the perpetrator engages in a series of behaviors that result in the victim feeling threatened or violating their privacy. But what is the difference between a loving admirer's determination and astalking ?

Contents:

  1. What is stalking? Definition
  2. How to recognize stalking?
  3. Who is a stalker?
  4. What are the consequences of stalking?
  5. What is the help with stalking?

What is stalking? Definition

The limits of the persistence of trying to establish contact with someone, or the feeling of being threatened by the tormenting person, i.e. stalking, are often difficult to define. The fact that due to the widespread use of new technologies we are becoming easier / more accessible to an increasing number of people, may contribute to the spread of the phenomenon of stalking.

However, when we start crossing someone else's boundaries or we feel that a new relationship begins to take on an unwanted form for us, it is worth looking at whether what we experience or donate to someone else does not bear the hallmarks of stalking.

The essential elements of harassment are:

  • sense of threat accompanying the person experiencing,
  • repetition of bullying behavior and a longer duration of bullying behavior.

The first impulse to think that the representatives of the world of media and art are mainly exposed to this threat. More and more often you hear reports that the heroes of the front pages of newspapers grapple with an intrusive admirer or a dangerous fan.

However, stalking also affects people whose work does not involve exposing themselves and their lives.This threat can affect virtually anyone, so it is important to collect some basic information related to it. It is worth remembering that the motives that drive the perpetrator are not important.

It doesn't matter if the reason is jealousy, love or own illness - if a given behavior repeats despite opposition from the other party, it can be presumed that it is stalking.

How to recognize stalking?

Behaviors that may indicate stalking include:

  • phone stalking -phone series, deaf calls, sending text messages;
  • internet stalking -sending unwanted messages (e-mails, messaging, social networks);
  • stalking at work -destabilization of professional life by disseminating false information, obstructing everyday work;
  • harassment;
  • solicitation;
  • threatening;
  • follow;
  • spreading false information or information regarding the victim's personal life;
  • blackmailing;
  • unwanted taking of videos, photos, etc.

The content of messages or phone calls may take various forms, e.g. unwanted love confessions, confessions or descriptions of sexual acts. It could also be a series of late-night "silent" phone calls or blank messages.

The stalker's behavior, however, does not always have to be associated with aggression or physical violence. The content in this case is of secondary importance to the person experiencing the harassment, the emotions that the behavior evokes in them are important. The perpetrators often use manipulations, emotional blackmail, trying to force the subject of harassment into contact. For example, threats against relatives may provoke a conversation with the perpetrator.

It is worth remembering, however, that making an "inn brawl" is a dose of attention that the tormentor is about. Giving unwanted gifts or hanging out with flowers in front of the house can be a romantic gesture to some extent, but in the event that the object of the sighs clearly says that he or she does not wish to do so, let's check that the adoration does not turn into harassment.

Who is a stalker?

There may be many reasons why someone starts harassing another person, but usually the genesis of this type of behavior lies in the sphere of feelings. Incompetent reading of one's own and other people's emotions, difficulty in accepting the end of a relationship or creating an intimate relationship only in one's head are some of the most common scenarios.

It also happens that stalking is a consequence of the productive content resulting from the tormentor's disease. The stalker's behavior is often amplified bythe need for control that the perpetrator implements by influencing the victim's life. The sense of power and the feeling of "dealing cards", of creating someone else's reality, serve to satisfy your own egocentric needs.

The costs associated with achieving the set goal cease to matter with time, and the perpetrator's behavior escalates. In the case of stalking, one should not be stereotyped. It must be remembered that the perpetrator can be both a man and a woman. It happens that the actions taken by stalkers of different genders are different, but the effect of intimidating their victims and the feeling of being trapped remains the same.

Most cases of stalking involve a breakdown or a refusal to establish a relationship.

What makes some people so struggling with rejection and consequently becomes stalking perpetrators are social, personality and emotional deficits. The inability to adequately read the emotions and messages of others, and limiting your attention to the person who is the target of bullying acts as a catalyst in a harassing situation.

With time, the lack of the effects of his actions expected by the perpetrator - actions in which he has invested so much attention, emotions and time, cause frustration, the effect of which is anger directed towards the victim.

It is the object of unrequited feelings that is seen as the cause of a difficult situation and over time the perpetrator may give himself the right to punish or draw consequences against an object that does not meet the expectations and needs of the aggressor.

Usually, the victim is objectified in the eyes of the perpetrator, and the line between love and hate begins to blur. The combination of egocentrism with extremely low level of social skills is a factor that promotes stalking behavior.

Low level of empathy, one-sided reading of events and extremely subjective giving of meaning to them can turn a simple heartbreak into harassment.

The perpetrators of stalking are often accompanied by a strong fear of loneliness, and at the same time they treat any signs of cordiality on the part of their chosen person as consent to their actions.

Usually, abusers find it very difficult to endure frustration, not only in the context of interpersonal relationships, but also in everyday life. Often the perpetrator, trying to keep a positive image of his own "I" in front of himself, explains or rationalizes his actions, blaming his victim for everything.

He convinces himself and his surroundings that if the victim did not oppose his version of reality, he would not be "forced" to call, intimidate, scare etc.

Difficultiesof a psychological nature that can be seen in stalkers should not justify their actions, but they provide an opportunity to understand the mechanism that turns a feeling into an obsession.

When identifying among relatives someone whose behavior is heading towards stalking, it is worth motivating him to use the support of a psychologist. Organizing your own emotions, needs and expectations, working through difficult experiences, may not only protect a potential victim of harassment, but also a person who, by failing to cope with their feelings, could incur penal consequences.

Important

Stalking in Poland: legal regulations

Legal regulations on stalking are contained in the ActArt. 191 § of the Criminal Code , which says: "Whoever uses violence against a person or an unlawful threat in order to force another person to act, omit or endure a specific act, is subject to imprisonment for up to 3 years" andart .190 § 1 of the Criminal Code : "Whoever threatens another person with a crime to their detriment or the detriment of their next of kin, if the threat raises the threatened reasonable fear that it will be fulfilled, shall be subject to a fine, the pen alty of restriction of liberty or imprisonment for up to years 2 ".

What are the consequences of stalking?

Experiencing stalking can wreak havoc in many areas of a victim's life. Starting from material losses, through insecurity, deterioration of psychophysical condition, to real threat to life and he alth. The tormentor, trying to appropriate the various spheres of his victim's life, exposes him to incurring costs in many areas:

  • material losses;
  • damage to property, personal belongings, etc.;
  • destabilization of professional life by disseminating false information, obstructing everyday work;
  • the need to change the place of residence and / or employment;
  • negatively affects the mental state, experiencing depressed mood, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, etc.;
  • sleep disorders (nightmares, insomnia);
  • disturbance of concentration and reduction of cognitive abilities resulting from, for example, a long-term sense of threat and emotional tension;
  • emotional problems, abuse of drugs and substances to calm down or facilitate sleep;
  • fear of leaving the house;
  • withdrawal from social relations avoiding interpersonal contacts;
  • sexual violence;
  • addiction;
  • suicidal thoughts.

What is the help with stalking?

Even if we're not sure ifwhat we experience is stalking, or simply crossing good manners and borders, it is worth trying to take care of your safety.

ObjectionIt is important that the abuser is told that we do not wish to contact him in any form. Explicit objection may be a solution if we experience relatively mild border crossing, but it will also be helpful if the whole situation turns into harassment - then a firm "no" is an essential element in obtaining legal consequences.

Avoiding contactIt is important to limit contact with the perpetrator only to the aforementioned objection. Once this is done, it is a good idea to avoid indulging in idle discussions or vague explanations. A good solution is not to write to messages, block the stalker's phone number and limit the availability of your accounts on social networks.

Do not accept unwanted shipments- this is an important element in setting limits for the perpetrator of stalking. Unsolicited packages should be returned to the person sending them as soon as possible.

Support group- inform people you are close to about the problem. Let them know that someone who is a stalker may be trying to contact them. Ask your relatives not to respond to his harassment, not to publish your photos or information about you on their social networks.

Remember that you don't have to deal with this alone. There are many support options that you should take advantage of for your safety.

Secure the evidence- remember that the whole situation may end up in the courtroom. If you are concerned about your safety, also make sure you collect evidence that you are experiencing harassment. Save messages, e-mails, medical records, and recordings that may indicate stalking. This evidence will help law enforcement agencies carry out activities that can protect you.

Informing the policeStalking is often downplayed by those who have not experienced it, and is also difficult to prove as not all stalker behavior is illegal. However, it is worth reporting individual episodes of harassment to the police. Even if we are not sure if what we are experiencing exhausts the hallmarks of stalking. Enter the direct telephone number of the policeman on duty at the police station closest to your place of residence and / or work into the mobile phone contact list.

Support from specialistsHarassment is usually accompanied by feelings of helplessness and danger. Often, being involved in contact with a stalker makes the opportunity difficultto look at the whole situation objectively. Therefore, it is worth using specialist support.

Contact a lawyer who will support you in contact with law enforcement agencies and the judiciary, but also explain the often complicated and ambiguous situation. Being harassed, you should seek psychological support.

The mental costs that a stalker incurs are often enormous. Changes in functioning in the personal and social area, long-term experience of the drug and the sense of danger may require the help of a psychologist.

If we have limited access to a commercial specialist offer, it is worth taking advantage of the free help offered by non-governmental organizations. Sometimes even using a free helpline can be the first impulse to take care of yourself in a situation that may seem like no way out.

Category:

Psychology