Pessimism makes life difficult. Why, then, in times when dozens of problems bother us from morning to night, saying to yourself with a smile "it will be fine" is so difficult? Even a pessimist should try to be of good cheer. It will be easier for him to live, and at the same time he will take care of his own he alth.

Where doespessimism come from ? Julian Tuwim wrote: " pessimistis an optimist with life practice." Certainly, many people will nod to him, believing that the optimists are incorrect, naive, a bit detached from reality. Is it possible to look at the world believing that everything will work out, when we experience so many worries every day? The importance of the attitude to life is evidenced by the fact that a new field of science has emerged with the complex name of psychoneuroimmunology, which studies the relationship between the psyche and the nervous system and immunity. Scientists have already prepared many reports, which show that people who are optimistic about life and are full of self-confidence, get sick much less and live longer than malcontents and complainers. Our he alth is influenced by the processes taking place in the brain. It has been proven that in a person in a state of permanent sadness and depression, the level of hormones responsible for the efficiency of the immune system decreases. And for an optimist, the opposite is true.

How is a tendency to pessimism born?

A lot depends on how we feel, whether we are refreshed, but also on how we were brought up and the baggage of life experiences. What are the most common reasons for lack of optimism?

  • Perfectionism. We want to be perfect in every field, collect praise and recognition. We set high standards for ourselves, but also for children and our partner, and then we demand more and more. We start to worry about what else we can do, what to improve. Unfortunately, you can't be perfect anytime, anywhere, so there's a growing sense of frustration that you don't succeed.
  • Lack of faith in others. We do not believe that children will be able to cope, that they are independent and wise enough. Although there are usually no problems with them, we still have a bad feeling, we make up that they will miss something, forget about something. We often transfer these fears to our partner who, treated like a child, withdraws and ceases to be supportive. There is a feeling of loneliness. How to be in such a situationoptimistic?
  • Childhood fears. People who are insecure often take the unknown as dangerous. - If in childhood we were not encouraged to take up challenges, we were not given tasks to protect us from the bitterness of failure and disappointment, we will instinctively avoid them as adults - says psychologist Marta Konieczna. - And the first thought that appears is: "What if it fails?". The longer it takes, the more doubts arise.
  • Not able to say no. We often have a problem communicating that we will not do something. On the other hand, it is not easy for us to say that something is important to us and we will fight for it. And then we think badly about ourselves ("I'm hopeless because I got cornered again") and about others ("she will probably make her face again, I'm lucky to meet such people").
Important

Scientists have already prepared many reports, which show that people who are optimistic about life and are full of self-confidence, get sick much less and live longer than malcontents and complainers. Our he alth is influenced by processes taking place in the brain.

Women find it harder to be optimistic

Ladies are, unfortunately, masters in inventing dark scenarios. They can be told that everything will be fine, and they know theirs anyway. Women more often than men think what would happen if… We worry that something will go wrong. We know the daily chase of negative thoughts well. Husband is not answering the phone? Probably something bad happened. The child wants to go to the camp? After all, you hear so much about accidents, bad company, and these ticks … The boss grunted "good morning"? What did I do wrong? Seemingly trivial problems keep us awake at night and make our day unpleasant. We discuss and analyze endlessly. Scientists have noticed that we spend more time on them than on pleasant events, even if there are more of them during the day than unpleasant ones.

Pessimism and the sense of responsibility

According to psychologist Marta Konieczna, women have the ability to think about many things at the same time, which is undoubtedly their forte. Thanks to this, they can control their personal and professional life, keep bills, and on the way solve the problems of often independent children who keep on shouting “mom, save me!”. But this feminine skill puts a lot of strain on the nervous system. Helplessness arises and complaints begin to let go of the emotions that are overwhelming. We hear: "More optimism!" Moreover, as Marta Konieczna notices, a woman focuses not only on what she feels herself, but also on the feelings of others. - He thinks: "What will they think of me?", "Won't they be offended?" In this waythe problem becomes more complicated than it actually is. Besides, he blames himself more often and looks for flaws in himself: "The child brings bad grades, because I have no time for him, I'm a bad mother", or "My husband has not taken me anywhere for months, well, he is ashamed of me because I am fat" . You don't have to wait long for the consequences of such contemplation: fears, doubts, and anxieties increase stress and take away the joy of life. In addition, women are better than men at predicting what will happen because they want to anticipate threats because they are more preventive. Men focus more on acting, on what is here and now.

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Category:

Psychology