Why do men tolerate banal colds so badly, and why women with runny nose at this time generally function normally? After all, from a medical point of view, both men and women have the same symptoms.

For more than 60% of women, the time their partner has a common cold is difficult, according to a SW Research study for Merck.

Every third respondent notices that men exaggerate their illness, every fourth - that they feel overly sorry for themselves, demanding attention. Why is it like that? Women regularly experience the inconvenience of menstruation, they are used to physical discomfort and the fact that it is possible to live with it normally; while for a man, even such a banal indisposition as a runny nose is a shock that throws them off balance. But there is a downside to this that can be seen when you look at women's response to their partner's illness.

When asked about what bothers them most in their male illness, women most often mention their partner's whining, the need to look after him and the lack of help with household chores. Women's ways to survive a male runny nose are interesting: in the first place was … ignoring (as many as 1/5 of respondents mention this method), then patience (wait it out), leaving home and work, and only fourth and fifth place - medications and caring for the sick!

As you can see, modern women, although they are aware that they should take care of their partners, would gladly leave the traditional role of caregivers - their reaction is dominated by irritation and the desire to run away. They are more emancipated, independent, but also more burdened with duties than their mothers and grandmothers. They have their own affairs outside the home and do not feel very comfortable nursing their sick partner - many feel he could do it on his own.

Why does a man with a cold drive get angry?

Irritation is a woman's response when a man stops functioning because his nose is running. In a similar situation, ladies generally function normally - they work and run the house as usual, take care of the children, and do not expect someone to take care of them. Their frustration with their partner's illness is most likely due to a sense of injustice - this is often the reaction of women who feel overburdened with unequ althe division of duties and angers them that with the need to care for the sick, they get another one.

Check if the "male flu" really exists [TOWIDEO]

The male point of view on the disease

But let's look at the matter from the point of view of a man. What makes a warrior turn into a poor bear overnight? Are today's men effeminate, more delicate, pampered by mothers? The problem is much more complex. In the era of social changes, men are faced with new requirements, but old patterns still function. - Women expect from men not only to care for the financial comfort of the family, but also to take over some of the household chores and fulfill the role of a father.

Their sense of masculinity has been shaken on the one hand, and on the other - they are still required to be the backbone of the relationship - says psychologist Małgorzata Liszyk-Kozłowska. - In the past, a man could lie down and get sick, and that did not diminish his manhood. The woman knew what to do: she went to the kitchen to cook broth, served tea with lemon. Today a woman will say: why are you lying? I wouldn't be lying. And the man feels overwhelmed by the role of the head of the family, the breadwinner, the demand to be tough. Perhaps it is only his illness that gives him an excuse to stop being "on alert" and to finally rest legally - concludes the psychologist.

Cry for attention

According to the SW Research study, older women responded more often to male indisposition - statistically, therefore, the longer the herd's tenure, the less care we had towards our partner. Younger women, with shorter experience - then usually the emotional commitment is high - much more willingly declared their willingness to look after their partner. Application? The greater the commitment, the more sensitive we are to the partner's needs. Perhaps, then, the exaggeration of ailments by a man is a cry for his partner's attention, for tenderness and care - the kind he experienced at the beginning of the relationship, when both were deeply in love with each other. His behavior and her reaction, i.e. irritation, raise the question of the condition of this system. The signals they send - though so different - can contain an important message: Notice me! Get closer with me!

A man "dying" of a runny nose. "It's a sexist image of an unhelpful man"

As you know, for men runny nose is a "deadly" disease. This is the playful tone of one of the advertisements for nasal drops. One of the viewers felt offended by it. In his opinion, "The message perpetuates a negative stereotype about one gender and violates good manners" (due to the fact that it refers to one gender) ".

However, the KER team decided that the ad, maintained injoking convention was conducted with a sense of social responsibility, with due diligence, in accordance with good manners and does not contain any content that could discriminate against men.

Source: Resolution of the Advertising Council

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Get out of the role of a strongwoman

Małgorzata Liszyk-Kozłowska advises that in such a situation both she and he review their relationship. - Let's consider why we react this way? Do we receive enough attention from our partner on a daily basis, do we receive support from him, do we feel his care? Is there a place in our everyday life to show ourselves physical tenderness? It is important to talk - to communicate to each other what we lack in the relationship, what we would like to change.

I would advise a woman: follow your man's example and when you feel bad, admit it and ask for support. Get out of the role of a strong woman and just say: I can't cope, I'm tired, help me. Perhaps it is worth considering a slightly different division of responsibilities. If your partner starts to support you more, then you won't feel bitter when you have to care for him in a moment of weakness, and you will also be able to count on his care.

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Category:

Psychology