Loose relationships - what can you expect when choosing this type of relationship? On the one hand, you can expect independence, freedom, freedom, unwavering passion and fascination. On the other hand, you are faced with uncertainty and lack of prospects for a common future. Learn the pros and cons of loose-fitting relationships!

Loose relationshipsare becoming more and more popular among (not only) young Poles. According to sociologists, this kind of arrangement between two close people can already be considered a sign of our times. We work more and more, we live faster and faster, we have less and less time for ourselves. As a result, we formloose relationshipswith other people. Also in the sphere of love.

Loose relationships, or a system without obligations

A loose relationship should be … loose. Free from any obligations, and therefore from responsibility for another human being. If so, why do we call it a union? After deciding on such a deal, we can forget about partner loy alty, honesty, faithfulness or even … love once and for all. Well, even in a loose relationship, people must make and adopt certain rules. They arrange meetings with each other, even their frequency, exchange expectations towards the other party (emotional and sexual) and set a line that neither party may exceed.

Loose relationships and cohabitation

However, it is not - as many people think - a cohabitation. The cohabitants also live without getting married, but they are often linked by interests: investments, loans, joint children and a flat. And this is a relationship in the full sense of the word, although without any formal confirmation. Interestingly, a free relationship can be created by a married man with his … lover, if he has been seeing her regularly for some time, or by a married woman who has been romancing for years. A free relationship can, from time to time, cement only sex. Bold, unrestrained, such as he or she has long had - or never had - in a marriage.

"Visiting arrangements" is also a favorite form of meetings of committed singles. They like and prefer to be alone, but they don't want to be lonely, and loose relationships guarantee it. They say directly: "We are two separate entities, each of us has our own lives and needs. We will spend weekends together. If we want, we will go on vacation, we will live together forfor a while, maybe we'll even spend the holidays. Or not - if we don't feel like it ".

Who decides to live in loose relationships?

Young people

Loose relationships are usually decided by people who do not want to have children or the need is still unawakened in them. They are usually people between 25 and 35 years of age - independent, but not fully matured to make a decision to start a family. It may also result from the belief that they must first achieve something in life, e.g. focus on their professional career. For example, if they work in a corporation, they usually leave the house in the morning and come back in the evening, so they prefer to somehow relax after a hard day's work, instead of listening to the constant excuses of their husband or wife: "Day after day is the same! Choose - the company or me! ". By signing up for a free arrangement, they can be sure that they do not lose anything of their lives - they can have both professional satisfaction and a substitute for a real relationship.

Middle-aged people and struggling people

But these free birds can also be … their parents, that is people in the prime of life, separated or divorced. They don't need to build a socket anymore: the children are brought up, their homes are furnished, and their jobs and lives are stabilized. Therefore, when they meet a new partner, they often decide on a convenient arrangement that is not binding on both sides.

Those who follow their parents' example

It also happens that a couple who have been living together for years without getting married have a crisis and decide to break up for some time. They live in two houses because they need to rest from each other, but they still love each other and do not want to lose touch. So they start dating. Such meetings can kill the routine, revitalize the relationship, and be a test of their love for each other. According to psychologists, the tendency to create loose relationships is more often shown by people whose parents divorced or one of them lived on similar terms with other partners before, during or after their marriage. If their children had such role models, it is hardly surprising that later they cannot enter into deeper relationships with anyone.

Advantages and disadvantages of loose relationships

Such relationships have advantages and disadvantages. Freedom of action is a big plus for both parties - everyone can do what they want: spend time as they want and with whom they want. They can also go on dates with others - if they both approve of it. There is no question of marriage, so there are no costs associated with the wedding ceremony and then raising the children. There are no family obligations: you do not have to go to your loved ones for holidays and other celebrations.

But this can also be a huge disadvantage - because there is no stabilizationnor a sense of security. This is definitely a worse situation for women - because if they decide to have a free relationship, and it lasts for years, they deprive themselves of the chance to have a child and may later regret it. But on the other hand, not every woman wants to become a mother.

Pros of a free relationship

  • Loose relationships give partners a lot of freedom. The couple can often meet with friends, they have time for hobbies. The partners do not have to change for anyone or compromise.
  • Partners are not bored with each other, they are not threatened by routine - and she is what kills relationships.
  • A free relationship requires constant cultivation of feelings, constant adoration. People rarely see each other, so they send hot text messages to each other, make gifts, go on trips, spend their time in an attractive and active way. And then the temperature of your feelings rises!
  • Partners care more about their external appearance.
  • Sex in such a relationship is much more colorful than in a married one. Lovers often experiment in bed. They satisfy sexual needs, but also erotic fantasies.
  • Both of them are very focused on the other person when they meet in loose relationships. They only devote all their energy and attention to her - because this is only time for her.
  • Partners do not have any finances. They are not responsible for the debts and loans of the other party. They also don't have to agree with her or plan their own expenses.
  • A mother who is in such a relationship has the status of a single parent, may receive an allowance for this and more favorable tax settlements.
  • You can part with your partner at any time - without any legal formalities.

Cons of loose relationships

  • The distance relationship means that the partners never know who they are with, they have no chance to get to know each other well.
  • Their future is very uncertain - such relationships are usually short-lived.
  • No children and no family. Often also spending lonely family celebrations and holidays.
  • Social and environmental pressure - this is a much greater burden for women (the stereotype of the old maid and the old bachelor still exists in our society).
  • When a child is born in such a relationship, if the man does not confirm paternity, the woman must establish it by court.
  • In the hospital, you may be refused information about your partner's he alth or consent to visit.
  • You cannot jointly settle taxes, and by inheriting an inheritance (by will), you cannot take advantage of tax benefits due to our family.

How long do looserelationships?

The duration of loose relationships depends on the partners: their individual needs, character traits, lifestyle. But also from their age. Young people's relationships rarely stand the test of time - if, after 2 or 3 years of living in two houses, they do not decide to live together or be officially together, they will probably never make this decision. Many couples stand in front of the altar, treating this event as a natural consequence of their life so far. Interestingly, by referring to themselves as "my husband" and "my wife", they begin to treat their partner as property - although so far they have done everything to defend their autonomy. This is perhaps the main reason why such couples often end up in the courtroom. And after divorce, they enter into a new free relationship. Because it's the kind of relationship they already know that doesn't scare them. However, a free relationship can be extremely strong and last for years. If people of mature age choose it, they can stay together for the rest of their lives. They are already smarter, more experienced - they are often widowers or divorced, they already have children from previous relationships - but they do not need to bond with a new partner permanently. Their decision may result from the desire to meet emotional needs (talking to someone, have a good time, shared interests) or sexual needs. Meeting from time to time is an attraction for both partners, it allows them to feel younger - carefree.

You have the right to live as you want

The growing popularity of loose relationships comes from life. We observe the reality that surrounds us: we observe the relationships of friends, acquaintances, neighbors, colleagues - everywhere we find a couple in crisis. We also know that more and more marriages end in divorce. That their world is falling apart in an instant and they have to start all over again, there are also problems with children. In this situation, the question often arises: "what do I need this for?" A free relationship is therefore a form of protection to avoid these difficulties and not complicate your life. If the relationship does not work out, you can leave without unnecessary formalities - a divorce case, division of property, moving. It also protects against the partner's claims: "I want to have children, a house, family with you". Social pressure, running out of time, family expectations and fear of loneliness can also be a stimulus to enter into such an arrangement. If people decide to have a relationship with someone who is "at hand", but without unwavering certainty whether they want to be with this person, then this form is optimal for them: they can get to know each other better, see how they feel about each other. However, let's not try to judge such relationships in any way. Becauseeach of us has different expectations regarding our life, including our intimate life. And she has every right to do so! Many couples in this arrangement are very happy. And that's what life is all about!

"Zdrowie" monthly

Category:

Psychology