Hate - when we think about it, we have a combination of intensely felt negative emotions that arise in the context of another person or group of people. Hatred is often accompanied by a sense of harm, hurt, pain, as a result of which there is a strong hostility, aversion and a desire for the hated person to meet something bad, be punished, revenge or some kind of retaliation. Read what you should know about the emotion of hate and learn how to deal with hate.
Contents:
- Hatred: what is that emotion?
- Hate: why is it not worth cherishing?
- Hatred: how to fight it?
Hateis not one of our favorite emotions - we do not like to experience it ourselves, we are also afraid of being a person who is hated by someone. So how do you deal with hatred and what it really is?
Hatred: what is that emotion?
Hateis a natural state and virtually every human being experiences it at some point in his or her life. It is a reaction to an injury or an injustice encountered. If it does appear, it is worth experiencing it consciously. Hearing what needs they are talking about and what relationships they warn us about can be very developmental.
Analyzing what causes hatred, what put us in a situation where someone's behavior caused such a strong sense of hurt, can provide a lot of valuable information. If, as a result of generalizing it, a group of people becomes its object, it is worth looking at the mechanisms that cause it for your own comfort. Generalizations concerning a certain part of society, e.g. a professional group, followers of a specific religion, inhabitants of a given region of the country, etc., can tell a lot about our fears, fears and thought patterns.
I encourage you to look at whether the way we think about this group is based on your personal experience or information provided by the environment. Knowing whether the strong emotions associated with hatred are derived from our knowledge or the beliefs of others can show how we make decisions at all. How susceptible we are to the influence of the environment and whether we prefer trust in other people's opinions over trust in our own experiences and conclusions.
Hate: whyisn't it worth taking care of?
Taking hate as a lesson about ourselves can have many benefits, but cultivating this emotion, which can become obsessed over time, does not lead to anything good. Obscuring the whole world of revenge, which begins to dominate or feeding on negative emotions fed to someone, over time poisons all areas of life, negatively affecting the psychophysical state. Obsessive hatred is like recreating the harm and loss it has caused.
That is why the ability to let go of both others and yourself turns out to be so valuable. The point is not to pretend that you have not experienced any harm, because denying it will only worsen your mental state, but about consciously working through this experience so that it does not become a burden in the next days of life.
Remember that letting go or forgiving is a process and takes time. Each step taken to free yourself from the burden of the wrongs suffered is worth the effort. Even if the person who is the target of hatred does not feel responsible, it is worth not waiting for an apology or repentance and focusing on securing the needs that the harm has exposed to the risk of harm. Usually, by redirecting attention to cultivating hatred, everything that is associated with taking care of yourself and your interior is neglected.
Therefore, it is important to remember that forgiveness is not pretending that everything is fine even if it is not. Forgiveness is a decision not to devote my energy to hate, but to take care of my sense of security, self-esteem, self-confidence, sense of agency or nurturing relationships that are good, safe and developmental.
Hatred: how to fight it?
It is worth trying to distance yourself from the hate you feel. Simple techniques to help with this include, for example, taking on the challenge of verifying your hate beliefs.
Think of the person you dislike you may be a very critical aunt, manipulative boss, or a boyfriend who once broke your heart. Then try asking yourself the following questions:
- Is the felt hatred and my beliefs about this person based on obvious facts?
- Does the felt hatred and beliefs about this person allow me to look after my well-being (well-being, he alth, life)?
- Does the perceived hate and beliefs about this person help you achieve both long-term and short-term goals?
- Does the feeling of hatred and beliefs about this person allow me to experience the feelings that I want to experience?
If you notice that the feeling of hate does not go away, begins to dominate subsequent areas of life, and self-attempts to deal with it do not bring the expected results, consider consulting a psychologist. Often, the source of these emotions is deeper, and the feeling of harm experienced is related to an event that happened in the past. In such a situation, it is helpful to work through these difficulties with the support of a psychotherapist.
Understanding the causes and mechanisms of experiencing hatred is the first step to rebalancing. Without it, it will be difficult to move forward, look with a sober eye at current events and relationships, but the familiar sense of hurt and hate will return.