Polish society avoids open dialogue about sex, and the stoma remains a phenomenon that most Poles know nothing about. The intimate life of a stoma is treated all the more as a taboo subject, and it is an open conversation that is one of the most important elements in the recovery of a patient's sexual he alth. Having an ostomy sex can be just as enjoyable as you follow a few recommendations.
Despite the continuing abundance of sexual content from the media, public awareness of human sexuality remains limited. This mainly concerns sexual he alth, sexual satisfaction, contraception and the consequences of irresponsible intercourse.
Lack of communication with a partner on intimate matters harms the relationship - it leads to tension and sometimes even unfounded suspicions of cheating. It becomes even more embarrassing to talk about intimate topics when your partner has a stoma. Even though 6-8 thousand screening operations are carried out annually, the subject is still taboo. To function properly with a stoma, first of all you need to take care of your body and learn yourself from scratch.
A stoma is a deliberate, surgically produced connection between the lumen of the intestine and the surface of the abdominal skin. As a result of its emergence, a person defecates through the stoma. Depending on the site of emergence, we can distinguish: colostomy - connection of the lumen of the large intestine with the skin, ileostomy - connection of the lumen of the small intestine with the skin and urostomy - connection of the lumen of the urinary tract directly with the skin or through the small intestine.
- The biggest problem after the surgery of its emergence may be self-acceptance, which is completely different for each person. Statistically, stoma approval comes most quickly to young children and the elderly. For ostomates outside of these age groups, dialogue is most important in the acceptance process - with family members, other patients, or with specialists. Before an intimate intercourse, it is crucial to talk with your partner and prepare both technically and mentally - comments Bianca-Beata Kotoro, a psychologist, psychosexologist, psycho-oncologist and therapist, expert of the "STOMAlife. Discover the stoma. "
After what time fromhaving a stoma, you can start having sex?
Returning to sexual life after surgery takes time and is a very personalized process. From a medical point of view, intercourse can take place when the wounds have healed and the patient has recovered to full strength (statistically around 7 months). It is also very important to change the approach to one's sexuality and intimacy.
How to make love to a stoma?
You may need to change sexual positions, excluding those that cause chafing or pressure on your stoma. The most recommended positions may be from the back, the rider, or the tilt of the pelvis, where the partner is lying on her back and rests her thighs on the partner's thighs, who is holding her by the hips.
- Experimenting with your partner and getting to know yourself again is exciting in a similar way as before having a stoma, which does not affect your sex drive. Both partners feel the pleasure of getting closer, and the close bond created between them through honest conversations and mutual fascination further intensifies this effect - adds Bianca-Beata Kotoro.
Intimate problems after the stoma
Problems that may arise in women who have a stoma during intercourse include pain due to the absence of the rectum to cushion the vagina during intercourse, or the narrowing or scarring of the vagina after radical removal of the bladder. Damage to the autonomic nervous system can reduce vaginal lubrication, but this can be remedied by using moisturizing gels for intimate organs.
In a man with a stoma, erectile dysfunction may occur if the nerve responsible for the control of erection and sperm ejaculation was damaged during the procedure of its emergence. The more cuts in the perineal area, the greater the risk of damage. In such a case, the therapy and re-education may include injection of the cavernous bodies of the penis, which is an invasive pharmacological method that helps in the fight against impotence.
However, one should not give up pleasure, but come to it in a different way. It is important to follow the recommendations of doctors, psychologists and sex therapists. If the stoma is insecure and does not know how to behave in intimate situations, and talking to your partner does not work, you should also remember about the possibility of using the help of specialists. Information on free stoma clinics can be found at: www.stomalife.pl.