A sex vacation for women will soon stop being a surprise. Single women go on vacation to exotic places for sex: away from home, family, friends, where no one will recognize them. They get picked up, adored, and have sex with strangers.
Sex-vacationis no longer the domain of men. More and more often Polish single women decide to go on such trips.
Habibi (baby) are you miss? - Karolina heard it hundreds of times when they went with Małgośka to the beach or walked along the hot streets of Alanya (Turkey). This time, however, she turned around. In the door of the gold shop stood an insanely handsome Kurd in blue jeans. Karolina could not believe that such a man was accosting her. She allowed herself to be invited for a tea as sweet as a jumble. Ramon was about 25 years old. And he looked at her like that …
- My legs buckled under me. It's been a long time since I felt so attractive - says Karolina. They agreed on the beach at sunset. - I thought I was in a fairy tale - admits the 33-year-old. - He pinned flowers in my hair, talked about his life in broken English, praised my eyes and hair. He kissed. But he didn't try anything more without my permission. - It was me who wanted to make love. The atmosphere of the holidays, the sound of the sea. It was unreal and romantic, like a tacky Harlequin. I got carried away - he admits.
Sex vacation: independent singles
Karolina works as a sales manager in a construction company in Warsaw. She has blonde hair and 15 kilograms overweight. However, it does not suffer from a lack of admirers. - All relationships end after a few dates. I am too independent, too modern. I find it hard to impress. Men are running away from my life, he complains.
She recently got involved in an affair with a married Damian. It lasted for six months. After all, she didn't want to be third anymore. She demanded that he should make the choice. And she was left alone. She was depressed, she stopped believing that someone could love her. - I didn't want to take a vacation. What was I supposed to do? To sit at home in front of the TV or sunbathe on my parents' plot? Almost all friends have pairs. I felt bad as a single. One time I made an appointment with a friend from work. She divorced a few years ago and has an eight-year-old son. It looked blooming - says Karolina.
- I'm going on vacation to Turkey - said Małgosia (42, owner of a trading companypaints for ceramics). "I'm going to relax, dance and pick up some handsome guys." I'm on my way to get myself some cool bathing suit. And you know what… ”She paused and suggested they go together. - You're blonde. The Turks will go crazy for you. Being alone is an asset, she explained. Karolina took a vacation, used a miracle diet to look better on the beach. She felt that something unusual was going to happen. - But what happened, I would never expect - admits. - I was surrounded by a crowd of men.
Sex vacation: feel like in a fairy tale
- Sexual holidays are known all over the world - says psychologist Barbara Marszałek. This theory is confirmed by Mirosław Pęczak, a sociologist. - It consists of two processes: women's emancipation and moral revolution - she explains. - However, I did not expect that this practice would reach Poland so quickly. I think that for now this applies to a small group of women who have money because they chose a career, not a family idyll - adds Pęczak.
- The needs of these women are actually ordinary - explains Barbara Marszałek, a psychologist. - They want love, tenderness. When they are lonely, they can dream by reading romances, watching romantic movies. However, they prefer to experience it in reality, even if they have to pay for it - he explains. - During my week in Alanya I had as many lovers as in the last five years - Małgorzata laughs.
- This happiness is very short (a month or two at most) and is illusory. If sexual vacationers do not find a partner afterwards, they may become depressed. Again, they do not believe in themselves, in their femininity and attractiveness. It's a vicious circle - explains the psychologist.
- I would not condemn such spending of free time - says Dr. Stanisław Dulko, sexologist at the Department of Sexology and Pathology of Interpersonal Relationships in Warsaw. - We were brought up on fairy tales and myths. From childhood, we were taught that "beyond the seventh river and the mountain" there is a land of happiness and an enchanted prince awaits there. These women are going to meet him. And since they can afford it, I see no contraindications - adds the doctor.
Meanwhile, Beata Ciesielska, a sexologist from Łódź, vice-president of the Polish Society for Sexual Medicine, has no illusions. "These women need psychotherapy," she says. - Sexual vacation helps for a short time and emotional problems remain unresolved. However, it is not pathology. As long as they know what they want and how they can get it. Only if one fell in love with one of the paid lovers, her emotional problems would deepen - adds Dr. Ciesielska.
Sex vacation: break the taboo
The girls did not give money to the men. They cared about the illusionromance. They paid for drinks, admission to discos, gas for the car. In return, the men showed them the most interesting corners of the Turkish Riviera, showered them with compliments and jewelery. - None of them treated me as an object - says Karolina.
Małgorzata and Karolina lived at night. They danced, drank whiskey, made love on the roof of the hotel, on the beach, in rented off-road cars. "Now that I think about it, I can't believe it." In Poland, it would be considered bad conduct - they admit. - But it was natural there. This is what German, Swedish and even Russian women did. And these are women of our mothers' age! - they add.
- Why are they doing this? - wonders Aleksandra Robacha, a psychiatrist and sexologist at the Center for Sexology, Family Problems and Pathology of Interpersonal Relationships in Łódź. - They are thirsty for affection. They are going for love! They are perceived as strong and independent in their environment. Men are afraid of them, considering them too demanding. They are anonymous there, nobody knows them!
Sexologist Beata Ciesielska warns: - Sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy are not everything. Women leading this way of life are at risk of rape and kidnapping. Sexual partners must be selected very carefully, says the doctor.
The girls don't talk about what happened in Alanya. - No wonder - says Dr. Stanisław Dulko. - Driving there, they break the accepted rules, the taboo. They live freely on vacation, but when they return they have to accept the norms of our culture. In our country, a woman does not take a man herself. If it is active, it may be accused of light morals - she adds. Mirosław Pęczak emphasizes the typically Polish aspect of the phenomenon.
After returning from vacation, the girls have not lost contact with their lovers. For several months Karolina has received text messages from Turkey.
Sex vacation: romance, naivety and sex
"Come back, baby, what I experienced with you will never happen again" - wrote Ramon. "I miss you, blondi from Poland - Abu loving". - First, a dozen wrote to me. Today only three. Among other things, the one who gave me the engagement ring - Karolina shows gold on her finger. - Maybe I'll go to him again?
- I think this process will continue - says Dr. Dulko. Today, women have money, they can move quickly. Soon, the trips of Polish women on sex-holidays will stop shocking - argues the sexologist.
"Zdrowie" monthly