Oral sex, which is bringing each other to orgasm by caressing with the lips and tongue, is considered sophisticated and very exciting. But many people view oral sex as a sin. As many people, especially women, avoid oral sex as they seek it. Why do we avoid oral sex?
Oral sexis said to be extremely arousing for men, and women consider a man who skilfully caresses them with his lips to be an exceptional lover. For both sexes, oral sex is often an expression of exceptional love, desire and care on the part of their partner. However, many peopleavoid oral sex . What could be the reasons for an aversion to oral sex? Is oral sex a sin? Oral sex positions or smell - what is the most discouraging for us?
Oral sex and smell
Each of us, women and men, has our own natural fragrance. This one of the genitalia is extremely specific. Various counselors recommend a bath before oral sex to soften the smell. They are right to some extent, because a clean body smells much better than a dirty body. However, our he alth and diet also affect our smell. For example, people who don't eat meat smell milder than carnivores. People who are stressed and have mental and he alth problems also smell different. We react to smell like animals, and perhaps not fully realizing it, we defend ourselves against something that smells bad to us. It may be, however, that the aversion to smell is the tip of the iceberg and masks our deeper aversion to oral sex.
Oral sex and the belief that genitals are dirty
Nature has ordained so that what serves sex and pleasure is also an expulsion. And for many people this is hard to accept during oral sex. In this, we are a bit of a victim of a civilization that considers biology to be something worse and more animal. Fortunately, we are constructed in such a way that love, tenderness, loving every bit of a dear man and sexual arousal allow us to forget about the dirty function of the genitals and enjoy oral sex. If you can't switch that way, you can experiment first with flavored gels, whipped cream or flavored condoms to help disenchant your genitals. Oral sex is not just about fondlingmale genitalia. Women often feel upset when a man caresses them and makes them orgasm with his mouth. There is often an ingrained disapproval of our own vagina, clitoris, and vulva behind this. The belief that they are dirty, not right, are embarrassing to hide. There are many books and courses for women to help you accept your own sexuality and your tools of pleasure to enjoy oral sex. Of course, as all sexologists advise, nothing is forced.
Psychological dirt: oral sex=sin
Oral sex is a sin - it is still a very common belief instilled by religious or prudish upbringing. It is harder to fight with this attitude towards oral sex. However, when in doubt, we want to please our partner, try something new ourselves - you can just question your beliefs about oral sex. Ask yourself if I think so, or if I think so because someone important told me about it. Sometimes such a confrontation may require the help of a sexologist, psychotherapist or just someone we trust. We have the right to consider oral sex sinful, but we also have the right to free ourselves from this belief if we feel that it is not ours and limits us.
Oral sex positions: aren't I afraid to give up?
In sex, we open ourselves to the other person and our experiences. Women especially feel that they are letting their partner inside - be it during classic penetration or during fellatio, when they take the penis in their mouth. For CI, this is where the problem with oral sex may lie - not in the smell, physical and mental dirt, or other hygienic, religious or moral arguments. I don't want to let him in. Why? This is a good question. There may be many answers: I am afraid of being hurt, of being dependent, of being committed. Or: I want to punish him, control him, keep him at bay. And sometimes - because I just don't love him.
Oral sex: I won't give him that satisfaction
There is another aspect of aversion to oral sex - positions. Many women do not like oral sex because of the position in which fellatio is often done: the woman is kneeling at the man's feet. For many women, such a position in oral sex is still a sign of male domination, they perceive it as degrading, they feel treated instrumentally. It is worth considering before we start enjoying oral sex - is this my problem, do I see the relationship through the prism of the hierarchy and the most important thing for me is who is in charge? Am I afraid to feel dependent, I do not want to yield and satisfy his needs, do I always have to control the situation? Or maybe the problem lies in the relationship- maybe he really likes to impose his will, and I agree for the sake of peace, security or because I can't live without him?