Empty nest syndrome is a reaction of parents to their children leaving their family home. Women experience it particularly strongly - suddenly dropping out of the role of mothers, they stop feeling needed and are unable to find themselves in the new reality. The departure of the children may, however, be the beginning of a new chapter in life, a chance for a "second youth". How to deal with the syndrome of empty nest and reorganize your life?

The empty nest syndromeis defined as the emotional crisis that parents experience after their adult children leave their home. As younger parents, overwhelmed by educational obligations, we usually associate this time with regaining the longed-for freedom, we treat it as an opportunity to implement long-postponed plans. However, when the departure of the children becomes a fact, instead of relief there is a feeling of emptiness and loneliness. It turns out that there is nothing to fill in the gap, and the bond with the partner, so far based mainly on joint care for the offspring, gradually loosens.

How to survive the empty nest crisis and use it as an opportunity for a fresh start?

Empty Nest Syndrome: Symptoms

The first months after the children have moved out are the most difficult times - the house suddenly becomes empty, the laughter and the buzz of conversations stops. Parents, unaccustomed to such a situation, feel lonely, abandoned and useless. Suddenly they realize that their whole life so far has revolved around children's matters, hence such an overwhelming sense of pointlessness and hopelessness.

Such a state usually lasts several months, but if during this time we do not find a springboard from negative thoughts, periodic chandra can turn into long-term depression. Especially if the empty nest syndrome is accompanied by retirement or a disability pension - then, when thrown out of the current lifestyle, we may have a problem with finding ourselves in the new reality. In extreme cases, mentally weak people start looking for consolation in alcohol or medication.

Empty nest syndrome in women

The empty nest syndrome affects mothers the most - it is related to the strong belief that motherhood is the main role and task of a woman. Education is possible for moms who cannot cope with loneliness"Toxic" character traits - they become possessive and jealous of their children. They constantly interfere in their lives, want to influence their every decision, manipulate them, break up relationships. They claim that they are doing it for their own good, but in fact they want to take control of them again.

Such behaviors, instead of tightening family ties, can over time completely spoil them, and even lead to their complete break.

Empty nest syndrome - how to overcome the crisis?

In the case of empty nest syndrome, periodic apathy and depressed mood are inevitable. Instead of defending yourself against them at all costs, it's better to take your time and spend a few weeks getting used to the new situation. To endure the first few weeks of separation better, you can see your children more often or, if they live far away, call them regularly. It may also be a relief to meet a friend or relative and talk frankly about your feelings.

Then you have to get a grip and rethink your life. Since our most important goal - raising children - has been achieved, we need to define new ones that will give us energy to act. One should realize that the departure of loved ones is only the end of a certain stage, after which a completely new chapter in our lives may be opened.

Empty nest syndrome - a new idea for life

The empty nest syndrome is caused by separation from children, but its direct cause is too much free time and the related anxiety and tendency to "black thoughts". Parents who had time spent with work, their own hobbies or social life before their children moved out, usually endure this difficult period better. The situation is different for people whose lives for 20 years focused almost exclusively on parenting - without friends and interesting passions, it is difficult for them to fill the void created after the death of their loved ones.

What to do with your life when we are alone and it seems that nothing interesting will happen to us? It is best to start with the small steps method: first, change something in your immediate surroundings, e.g. carry out a renovation. Painting the walls in a new color, buying new furniture or renovating the bathroom is a good way to improve your mood and motivate yourself to act. Then it is worth finding a job or passion, the improvement of which will become our goal. There are many possibilities, for example:

  • work in the garden or on the plot;
  • doing sports, e.g. Nordic walking, cycling, swimming;
  • signing up for physical activities: yoga, dance, gymnastics;
  • traveling - not only to distant countries, butalso visiting nearby towns, parks, monuments, museums;
  • cooking;
  • taking part in a painting, drawing, pottery course;
  • take a pet.

Empty nest syndrome - support for loved ones

In order to quickly deal with the empty nest syndrome, in addition to developing interests, it is worth renewing social contacts. Maybe there are also people from former friends whose children have recently moved out and you could spend your free time together? Similar experiences and age can bring you closer together.

You should also remember about the support that your partner can give. The departure of the children is a difficult moment, but also a chance to remember how good it was for you when you were just the two of you. Spending time with each other more often, movies, taking walks, sharing passions can renew your bond and bring you closer to each other again. If you use this time well, you can experience your second youth together and experience life again in all its fullness.

Category:

Psychology