A bit of jealousy warms up feelings and adds color to life. Excess can kill love, take away friends, make you complex, even cause neurosis. Jealousy accompanies us all our lives. According to psychologists, the more someone is prone to jealousy, the lower their self-esteem.

Jealousyis a feeling we are reluctant to admit. We rather hide them. From childhood, we were told: "It is not nice to be jealous." And yet jealousy is natural.

Jealousy is in our genes!

And there is no man who would never envy anyone anything. We envy what we consider value. And we automatically compare ourselves with others: he has and I don't, she can and I can't. Interestingly, we are often wrong to our own disadvantage. We exaggerate our own flaws and assign advantages to others - often exaggerated.

This, in turn, causes us anger, frustration, envy or makes us complex. Psychologists say that the more someone is prone to jealousy, the lower their self-esteem. Yet this feeling does not have to be a destructive force. It can also inspire he althy competition and positively motivate to action.

Important

Jealousy within reason

  • 17 percent men and 31 percent. women admit that they deliberately make their partners jealous. They tell, for example, how much others like them. "Marek says I have nice legs" - this message for his beloved means "I am very attractive. Strive for me. " Or they say whatever they like. It also happens (though less frequently) that they pass from words to deeds. For example, ladies send flowers and letters to themselves. All these treatments are only aimed at improving the quality of their relationship. It is not for nothing that it is said that jealousy is a barometer of feelings. If people are not jealous of each other, there is something wrong in their relationship.
  • Jealousy can make a relationship stronger as long as it is he althy, or controlled. When one side starts to spy, track, accuse, and hold the other side, it will eventually fall into its own snares. In extreme cases, jealousy turns into depression or aggression. And that sometimes ends tragically. Those who are prone to depression take their own lives. And those who are aggressive commit homicide. Research shows that jealousy is the cause of 20 percent. murders all over the world.

Jealousy of companionsto man from birth to death

But her objects change depending on age and needs. Children seek interest from their parents and grandparents. They are afraid of being abandoned, especially when another child appears around them. Among themselves, they mainly fight for toys. When they enter the period of adolescence, they want to have something that will emphasize their attractiveness in the eyes of their peers, for example: a computer, the latest model of a cell phone, fashionable clothes, etc. An adult would prefer a home, car and vacation abroad. Older people are also jealous: that someone is he althier than them, looks younger, has a better life, etc. Sometimes they even blaze over someone else's… past! They look at others: what they have achieved, seen and experienced. If they look worse compared to them, they turn bitter, are constantly dissatisfied and frustrated. Unfortunately, with age we become more and more jealous, because we discover in others what we lack.

There is no love without jealousy

When we love someone, we want to own both their body and feelings. We are afraid that it will go away, so we do everything to prevent that from happening. Hence the eternal suspicions and claims.

Backward jealousy is jealousy of ex-partners, caused by fear of losing love. It is caused by the partner's previous relationships.

Research shows that the partner who feels less attractive in the relationship - in terms of appearance, professional, social, financial, intellectual or emotional standing - is more jealous. If he himself misjudges his chances of the so-called market, meaning that it will be difficult for him to find another partner, he becomes more jealous of the one he is with.

Those with a bad conscience are the most jealous

The worst thing though is not trusting yourself. Apparently, the most jealous are those who have something on their conscience. If they cheat, they automatically attribute their behavior to others. And they arrange scenes: "because if it happened to me, it might happen to you". This is how they absolve themselves. Another thing is not trusting your partner.

If someone has been betrayed, he / she will subconsciously "look forward" to another betrayal, and all similar situations will seem suspicious to him. Generally, gentlemen are sensitive to sexual infidelity, ladies - emotional. Men do not want to bring up other children, and a woman's unfaithfulness calls into question their genetic fatherhood. Women think about children - what will happen to them, how they will deal with them on their own, and whether they will ensure a good future for them. Sometimes thoughit is worth being jealous "in advance". If you give your partner a signal that his behavior has hurt you, maybe it will save you suffering in the future?

Jealousy and jealousies

Are women more jealous than men? Not! But they are emotional. Gentlemen, on the other hand, suppress feelings, believing that showing them is… unmanly. They also show their jealousy differently and deal with it differently. They want to prove that they are … real males. That they can provide good living conditions - both for themselves and their family. They are most envious of other males for their resourcefulness in life. Since the world is the world, two things speak for it: power and money.

House and car - these are the attributes that prove that a man has financial resources. And if he can get them, it means he also has an outstanding mind. In turn, the attention of women is attracted by the features of their rivals that guarantee them he althy offspring: round hips, strong hair, firm breasts - which make them so desirable. Ladies also compete with each other - of course for the favor of men. They use a tricky technique of minimizing: "she would be pretty pretty if it weren't for those legs and small breasts," they throw in passing. The method turns out to be effective because every male wants to be sure that his prey is fully valuable. If he notices that other ladies are mocking her, he starts to think: "maybe there is something wrong with her?

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Category:

Psychology