I'm 17 years old. I want to help my boyfriend who is addicted to alcohol. He was at the AA club, but it didn't help. He believes he is not an alcoholic. He drinks almost every day and takes short breaks from drinking that last no longer than a week. When he is not drinking, he has stomach pains, vomiting, tremors, dizziness and shortness of breath. When he drinks, he is aggressive and vulgar. When he is not drinking, he is a completely different person, an almost perfect partner. I want to help him somehow, but I don't know what to do - he doesn't even want to hear about something like rehab.
May you not be a great material for a coalcoholic … I mean a person who tries to help the alcoholic so much that takes responsibility for him, takes care of him, tries to direct his thinking and treatment. Not the way. If he is uncritical and his drinking has reached the proportions of a serious addiction, helping him is, in a way, helping him to continue to drink more comfortably. Because it is not he who experiences his drama - only you, not he takes responsibility for what he does - only you look for guilt in yourself that maybe it was necessary differently, more carefully, more effectively … It will come to the point that he can blame you for it that he was drinking. I do not wish you such a future. I advise you to go alone for advice to a therapist at the Addiction Clinic and look for the Al-Anon group. Because now it is the Lady who requires quick help. Regards!
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Tomasz JaroszewskiSecond degree psychiatrist
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