The physical changes associated with puberty, such as acceleration in growth rate and changes in voice timbre, are generally fairly easy to spot. However, maturation includes not only physical changes, but also those related to the functioning of the psyche - an inseparable element of preparation for adult life is mental (emotional) maturation. This period can be calm and stormy - some adolescents experience various problems related to the course of emotional maturation.
Humanemotionally matureis able to e.g. consciously choose the values he professes or enter into mature relationships with other people, in addition, he is independent and capable of abstract thinking. Before that happens, however, there must first be a processof mental maturation . This period is difficult both for the experiencing teenager / young adult and for his immediate environment, which are usually his parents.
Symptoms of mental (emotional) maturation
The psyche of an adolescent is subjected to quite an intense load. Physical changes that occur in adolescence, such as changes in body proportions and build, or the appearance of sexual characteristics (e.g. hair in the intimate area or enlargement of the breasts) can arouse irritation and other negative emotions, as well as cause complexes. Acceptance of the altered body appearance is one of the factors associated with mental maturation.
In the process of emotional maturation, young people can be extremely emotional. The cause of the so-called mood swings are hormones - in adolescence, there are dynamic changes in the concentrations of these substances in the body. After episodes of exceptionally good mood, there may appear - suddenly and unexpectedly - completely different states, popularly referred to as "pits". Parents may think that their child is moody, difficult to live with, and in fact, the changes taking place in the body are to blame for its condition.
Swings in moods also involve falling from one extreme to the other. Seemingly trivial aspects can be of exceptionally strong interestteenagers, other matters may, in turn, be extremely negatively and critically assessed by them (for example, a fascination with one subculture, and the negation of some other, considered hopeless and stupid).
Adolescence is the time when a young person is prepared to enter adulthood. It is then that his main views, system of values and sense of his own "I" are (initially) established. Processes of this kind may arouse anxiety in parents - usually they were the model for their child before, their values were treated as binding, meanwhile … with self-chosen values. The consequence of this type of phenomena and thoughts may be isolating oneself from parents, for example by closing oneself in one's own room or preferring to be with peers. There may also be attempts to emphasize your individuality, whether by becoming a representative of one of the subcultures, or by dressing flashily or unusual hairstyle.
The search for one's own identity may be a discomfort for an adolescent. Teenagers are often tormented by various doubts, including whether he is really what he should be, in addition, the source of worry is that the adolescent does not know what kind of person he should be in the future. These kinds of doubts are a normal part of growing up and shaping the psyche. Usually, over time, their intensity gradually decreases until - if only psychological maturation is correct - they completely disappear.
There are at least two more aspects to mental maturation: the need for social acceptance and an interest in sexuality. In the case of the former, the first more serious relationships with peers may develop, and the adolescent may also undertake various activities that would ensure recognition within his peer group. The interests of the body differ depending on the gender of the teenager: in girls there is a need for closeness and the related search for a partner, while in boys there is mainly a need to relieve sexual tension.
Problems related to mental (emotional) maturation - how to deal with them?
During mental maturation, adolescents are at increased risk of developing certain psychiatric disorders and diseases. Due to these changes, adolescents may develop depression. Due to this type of risk,parents should always carefully observe their offspring - states of low mood may be within the normal range and be typical for the period of emotional maturation, but if they last relatively long and are of high intensity, it would be worth considering consulting a specialist.
The aforementioned exceptional emotionality and its manifestations are a very important element of the proper process of mental maturation. Emotions that would be hidden and repressed in themselves could underlie the development of anxiety disorders. Eating disorders are other psychiatric problems that quite often begin in adolescence. Of course, not every teenager who is slimming has bulimia or anorexia, but you should closely observe the young person and seek help and advice if you suspect any abnormalities.
A child's need for independence and curiosity about the world can be a problem for many parents. A teenager may show rebellion, as a way of getting to know the adult world he may treat the use of psychoactive substances - cigarettes, alcohol, but also in the worst case - drugs. Even a one-time attempt, although it does not have to be, may result in the development of addiction. Talking about this type of threat (though probably not easy due to youthful rebellion and the conviction of having more knowledge) certainly allows you to reduce the above-mentioned threats.
So what can be advised parents of adolescents? Certainly not using aggression and accusations. There is no doubt that a child's behavior may cause irritation or a belief about the parenting mistakes made. Parents should, however, bear in mind that a significant part of the phenomena experienced by a teenager is also burdensome for him, and additionally, these behaviors do not have to be an expression of ill will.
Growing people should be aware that they can count on support and acceptance from their caregivers. His decisions, beliefs or choices may seem absurd, sometimes even irrational, but this is exactly what entering adulthood is - making independent decisions and then bearing their possible consequences.
First of all, you need to talk to your child. Whether the question is properly asked depends on whether the communication will be effective. When talking to an emotionally growing teenager, choose your words clearly. For example, in case of concern, let's not blame the child ("how can you wander around the city for so long!"), But rather suggest that afterwe are just worried ("I am worried when you are away from home for so long without giving any information that all is well"). You should also listen to it - knowing the needs and problems of an adolescent child will certainly make it easier for us to reach an understanding with him.