I am 19 years old, I have no communication problems, I look good, I am rather satisfied with everything I have done in my life, I can see my future, I know where I want to go. However, I have had a huge problem with motivation for a very long time, I grab a lot of things at once and I am not able to focus on them. I think it's because I can't really build any kind of relationship with another person and I'm overwhelmed by loneliness. Since I am going to high school, I am actually only among people from my class. I don't even have anywhere to try to meet someone new, and I am not constipated to force myself to go in this direction, because I have the impression that I look down on people. I would like to point out that I am liked by people, I can have fun, conduct substantive conversations. As a result, I have many friends, but maybe I can talk to one person in a limited way about what interests me. Unfortunately, I am too vulgar and too honest. I don't lie and I don't play games with people. I have no problems dealing with women, but I have never been in any relationship because there were maybe two in my entire life who interested me in more than the physical aspects. I have not been able to figure out where my problem lies and how to solve it for a long time. I also can't wait forever until somehow I find the right company, because that's probably not the point. I have the impression that in terms of building and maintaining relationships, I am similar to my father, who now probably only talks to his family privately.
After reading your letter, I have two thoughts: you are a very intelligent guy and a very sensitive guy. I also have one wish: don't waste it. My advice: don't go over what this has to do with your father (surely he has one), but start doing something. So I have the following advice: search the internet for the center closest to your place of residence that organizes interpersonal training. Sign up. This is a week-long "workshop" involving 9-15 people who did not know each other before. In five days - eight hours a day - something happens between these people. We call it "group process"; in fact, this group is a mirror in which everyone sees themselves through the eyes of others. It's very interesting, valuable andeducational experience. You will learn a lot about yourself; a lot about what others see in you. This experience will be of great help in discovering the way to people. I urge you.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Bohdan BielskiPsychologist, specialist with 30 years of experience, trainer of psychosocial skills, expert psychologist of the District Court in Warsaw.
Main areas of activity:mediation services, family counseling, care for a person in a crisis situation, manager training.
First of all, it focuses on building good relationships based on understanding and respect. He undertook numerous crisis interventions and took care of people in a deep crisis.
He lectured in forensic psychology at the Faculty of Psychology of SWPS in Warsaw, at the University of Warsaw and the University of Zielona Góra.
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