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My three-year-old shuns foreign children. I have noticed that she often prefers to play alone, and if someone disturbs her, she goes berserk. She plays with the children she knows, and if a stranger shows up, especially if the other child she was playing with knows the new person, she immediately withdraws and comes running to me (I personally have a similar problem with new people). My daughter doesn't go to kindergarten and I wonder if it's because of it. You see children twice a week in winter and daily in summer. In addition, she has recently had younger cousins in the family, and siblings on the way.
Children inherit from us various traits, including temperamental and personality traits. Perhaps, then, you have inherited this specific reaction to new people in the form of withdrawing from contacts with new people. You should not force her to do so, but rather act with positive reinforcements - praise and reward emotionally for the expected behavior.
However, one should react very clearly to behaviors of the "frenzy" type. Of course, there are no physical punishments - you should also use positive reinforcements - e.g. for calming down quickly. If the little girl is hysterical, she can be left alone with the message "when you calm down, come to me and then we'll talk." Kindergarten is worth considering, as it usually helps children reach emotional and social maturity. Did you go to kindergarten? - please consider whether you are not replicating the parenting style of your parents.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Bohdan BielskiPsychologist, specialist with 30 years of experience, trainer of psychosocial skills, expert psychologist of the District Court in Warsaw.
Main areas of activity:mediation services, family counseling, care for a person in a crisis situation, manager training.
First of all, it focuses on building good relationships based on understanding and respect. He undertook numerous crisis interventions and took care of people in a deep crisis.
He lectured in forensic psychology at the Faculty of Psychology of SWPS in Warsaw, at the University of Warsaw and the University of Zielona Góra.
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