A person suffering from depression will not cook dinner, will not take care of the child, sometimes he or she does not have the strength to get out of bed. It's hard for a he althy person to understand. How can you help a loved one overcome depression? How to live under the same roof with someone suffering from depression?

It's not easy living under the same roof with someone who hasdepression . Constant complaining, low self-esteem,fears , total helplessness - all of this can throw you off balance. In order to live with someone suffering from depression, you need a lot of strength and patience, but most of all you need to know what this difficult disease is all about. If you understand what your loved one feels and learn how to deal with difficult times, it will be easier for you to overcome crises.

A person suffering from depression does not enjoy anything

Depression is a disease in which the most important symptom is depressed mood. It is known that each of us has better and worse times. The difference between chandra and depression is that the low mood that occurs in chandra is much smaller and fluctuates - when something good happens you are happy, if something is sad you are sad. On the other hand, a depressed person cannot enjoy anything. It's hard to make her more sad and it's hard to make her laugh. She is in more or less the same state of unpleasant indifference. He stops practicing his favorite sport, reading books and meeting friends. She rode a bicycle and now she doesn't even want to look at it. She was fascinated by the theater, now she doesn't want to go online to buy a ticket. A person suffering from depression cannot feel happiness even in the situations he used to enjoy. He cannot cope with his duties at work, he slowly avoids contacts with his relatives, because he believes that he is the cause of their troubles. If he does something, it does so with great effort. She eventually falls out of social roles.

Depression is related to existential pain

It is easy to notice that among us there are people who are optimistic about people and the world, and people who are born pessimists. How do you tell an ordinary malcontent from someone who is depressed? A depressed person is a multiplied pessimist, and pessimistic thinking applies to both the future and what has been. "I haven't been able to do anything good in my life and nothing good awaits me," says a depressed person. Never mind that she has a rewarding job, a loving partner and successful children. It is because of the feeling of total hopelessness of a depressed personthey are taking their own lives. There is something terrible about depression: it is the disease with the highest number of deaths of any disease, both mental and somatic. Neither cancer patients nor other terminal diseases take their own lives as often as people with depression. Whatever it may be, depression is always associated with existential pain. But it is not only a disease of the soul, which is often forgotten. A depressed person suffers from somatic complaints. Due to the lowered pain threshold, a lot of things hurt him, he sleeps badly or cannot sleep at all, he has a disturbed hormonal balance in the body. There are also other symptoms, such as lack of appetite, heart and stomach problems.

How to help a person suffering from depression

Often, the family does not allow themselves to think that their loved one is depressed, denying their illness. Almost all of them create theories or assume responsibility for the different behavior of a family member. The news that this is depression after all comes with a shock. People still find it hard to understand that depression is like any other disease, such as the flu, pneumonia or a heart attack. In a while it will pass and everything will be back to normal. Let's face it: there is a disease and it must be overcome. How to do it? Don't pretend depression is nothing. The sick person feels lonely and needs your support. Say that you are aware of how much he is suffering and that you are with him. Do whatever you can to infect him with the belief that he will recover. Repeat many times: "it will be fine". Comforting in the style of "do not worry" or "others have it worse, and they do not break down" is painful for the patient. The depressed person already worries that they've let everyone down, and the trouble is, they can't help but worry. Encouraging a sick person to pull themselves together creates additional frustration as they are unable to do so.

A person suffering from depression needs support and approval

The greatest support for the sick person is to accept his condition. If he can't get out of bed, leave him alone, let him lie. Bring some tea or serve breakfast. Understand that this behavior is not an act of laziness or a desire to anger you. Imagine if the patient had a serious accident and was put in a plaster cast from the neck to the feet. After all, you won't be rushing him for walks or cooking dinner. Rehabilitation is needed so that the muscles do not wane, but only within the limits allowed by the injury. Don't expect impossible things from someone with depression.

Your relatives are often irritated: "You don't go to work, at least do something at home." But how, when the sick person cannot do anything? And it feels sohe becomes less valuable that he is idle at home, so making him categorical demands only deepens his depressed mood. This is especially true of women, who by nature have a great sense of duty, so they blame themselves for being bad wives and mothers anyway. Why aggravate the guilt? As they feel better, try to encourage the person to be active, such as walking together, but don't expect too much. If the husband has been walking for an hour, he will be tired after 15 minutes. If your mother liked to cook, you can offer to help her make a salad, but don't think she can make the whole dinner herself and clean it up. A sick person may refuse to perform an action because he or she does not believe in his / her strength yet or because they do not exist. Once he feels better, he will increase his activity on his own. At the beginning, the success will be going to the bathroom and brushing your teeth. Remember to praise then. Say it's a sign that he's recovering from illness.

Important

Encourage therapy and support treatment

Motivate, suggest books and other resources on depression. Show examples of people who managed to recover from their illness thanks to subordination. Make sure that the patient takes medications in the prescribed doses. Modern formulations are designed to be administered once a day, so this is easy to control. Antidepressants are effective, but don't expect them to cure everyone immediately. You must wait at least 2-3 weeks for the effect of the therapy. It is a symptomatic treatment, not a causal treatment, so in some people the disease returns (20-30% of patients are resistant to drugs and then other methods of treatment are used). It is important that the patient, despite his well-being, takes the maintenance dose of the drug.

Depressed person has mood swings

A depressed person should decide for themselves what they want to do. She must not be forced to do anything. You have to be aware that the patient has mood swings throughout the day. He may feel terrible in the morning, but his mood improves during the day. This pattern repeats itself, raising hopes and disappointment in the family. This is the cruel irony of this disease. Knowing this, adjust the daily schedule to the patient's abilities. If he wants to stay in bed until noon, let him rest. When in the evening you feel like going out to the cinema or with friends or even having fun, you have to take advantage of it. Be careful what you say and with what tone. The patient is very sensitive and interprets each change to his disadvantage. Do not raise your voice, do not show impatience, because this adds to the already strong guilt. Try to be warm and kind, but avoid being overly empathetic as this can encourage frequent complaints. Don't get caught up in itinto pessimistic thinking. People with depression tend to generalize. If a sick person says: "Nobody wants me, I am a problem for everyone," try to find out who exactly they mean and indicate kind people. If he doesn't want to talk, don't force it. The patient has difficulty making decisions, so do not ask what tea he prefers, but make the one he most likes to drink.

Don't ignore thoughts of suicide

Learn to recognize suicidal thoughts. The patient is interested in topics related to death, organizes his affairs, e.g. he writes a will, disposes of valuable items or engages in risky behavior, e.g. drives a car too fast. Usually, the fear of suicide is so great that he does not talk about it directly, but accumulates more drugs, sharp objects or begins to say goodbye to his family. Some implement their threats when they are ignored. Fortunately, not all suicidal thoughts end up in life. Patients commit suicide at various times during their illness, even when they recover because they are afraid of recurrence of depression. If you notice anything disturbing you should immediately contact your doctor or call an ambulance. Only a psychiatrist can determine the risk of a suicide attempt. Often everything happens quickly: a sick person can drink coffee in the kitchen, then goes to the bedroom and throws himself out of the window. On duty at home, hiding drugs, cannot prevent a tragedy. According to the act on the protection of mental he alth, patients whose behavior is directly threatening their life can be treated against their will.

According to an expertMichał Skalski, MD, PhD, psychiatrist

A hospital is a salvation

In severe depression, when outpatient treatment is ineffective, a hospital stay is necessary. A person who loses rational control over his behavior, has intrusive suicidal thoughts or his behavior indicates a risk of taking his own life should be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. It is better then to send the sick person to the hospital than to let a tragedy happen at home. Hospital treatment is also recommended in situations where the patient's stay in the family makes depression even worse. Today, no one is kept in the hospital for months. After 2-3 weeks, the patient is treated and returns home to continue the therapy. Usually, people with depression are afraid of the hospital, just as we are afraid of surgery, but then, like patients after surgery, they are grateful that they went there. They are relieved that they are alive and that the drugs have started working. The hospital is not a punishment, but a salvation.

The psychologist will help you cope with depression and stress

It is worth persuading the patient to seek the help of a psychologist. TheseThis form of therapy is used mainly so that the patient does not stop taking medication on his own, learn to deal with depression and stress, be able to recognize the signs of the upcoming phase of the disease, and then see a doctor as soon as possible. If the patient is defending himself against a visit to the doctor, persuade him, but do not force him. The words "I think you feel worse, so it would be good to see a doctor" will be better received than "Go to a doctor at last." If depression is reactive (caused by an external factor), the family must try to minimize this factor somehow. Medicines help, but the most important thing is to resolve the conflict and support loved ones. It is known that if someone's mother died, it is difficult for him to distance himself from it. But you can try to direct his thoughts to other directions. The mother has passed away, and the father who needs to be looked after has remained. If the cause of depression is trouble at work, convince the sick person that he will find a better one. Depressed people are toxic, they can infect the environment with fear. The family is tired not only with additional duties, but also with permanent mental stress. That is why it is important to organize care for the sick person so that you can also find time for yourself to rest and relax.

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Psychology