How do single women deal with sex? Is it easy for them to find even a random partner? Their erotic needs and the ways of satisfying them are still taboo in the country.

Monika, 42 years old: - A few years ago someone broke into me and threw everything out of the cupboards. The cops found my vibrator on the floor and immediately started treating me like a whore. They almost suggested that I was robbed by a client.

- Women between the ages of 25 and 40 have a very strong sexual need and this makes the inability to satisfy it especially overwhelming. For those who don't want to be with just any man, this is a really difficult situation considering that biology has its requirements. - says Zuzanna Celmer, psychologist and therapist. He adds: - Some people tell me a little jokingly that if it weren't for the shame, they would be ready to go out onto the street with the banner “I need a man!”

Single women sex - they cope differently

Those who are unable or unwilling to make casual acquaintances, masturbate or use a vibrator to relieve tension, although this is not a substitute for the real act and closeness of a man.

But they don't want to talk about it. - No wonder - says the sexologist, prof. Zbigniew Lew-Starowicz - They don't even tell their friends about it, because masturbation or a vibrator is the most embarrassing and deprecating thing; means: "I can't afford a relationship with a man."

- Contrary to what is commonly believed, more women come here than men or couples … I do not know, however, which of them buy erotic products to diversify the sexual act, and which are lonely and treat the vibrator as a "substitute", because after all, I will not ask them about it - says the owner of the erotic store "Sexappeal" in the center of Warsaw.

He sells mostly vibrators (there is a wide selection of them, ranging from PLN 30 to PLN 400), porn movies and "spiders". They are less interested in erotic lingerie.

- Ladies of all ages come, even after they are 60, she adds. You can see that they are determined to make a specific purchase. The older ones are often embarrassed, the younger ones treat it as something completely normal. I was at first embarrassed when 20-year-old girls came - agedmy daughter!

According to an expertprof. Zbigniew Lew-Starowicz, sexologist

- It is very difficult for lonely women, especially in the provinces, because loneliness is not promoted in our country, it is considered to be something worse, although the number of dynamic women who run companies, are independent and loneliness is their conscious choice.

Single women sex - looking for an online relationship

They use marriage bureaus. Sometimes they pick up a taxi driver, sleep with their friend's husband, although they are “eaten up” by remorse. They go on trips and to sanatoriums.

Anna, 35, an employee of a Warsaw advertising company: - I have a lot of sexual needs. At work, guys stick to me - married and single, but I don't want to get involved with just anyone, because I would lose my self-respect. I have already burned myself once, agreeing to meetings with a colleague from work. He wasn't an eagle in bed, and it turned out to be a gossiper. Unfortunately, I was telling him too much about myself. At work, I had a several-month long nightmare of gossip and smiles behind my back. I was so devastated that I was considering changing the company, but I explained to myself that I hadn't done anything wrong and I had nothing to be ashamed of. Now I think that the few moments in bed were not worth the suffering.

I have a nicely furnished apartment, I work several hours a day, I go to the fitness club twice a week because it discharges me, but finally I come back to an empty apartment and feel very bad. Like someone less valuable … I go on trips abroad without my friends! I always pick someone up, including locals: we are on vacation, we sleep with each other without obligations, nobody knows us, you can pretend that we are a couple. That's when I feel best, because it's as if sex is included in the tour program. Anyway, they all do it. Well, vacation is three weeks a year, what about the rest?!

Anna says that some of her friends go to discos where you can always "take out" a guy, but she has never used this method. She dislikes the noise and confusion of discos and dislikes the fact that they have become a "live market". In addition, she thinks that she is too old for discos, although her friends say that even women over 40 often meet there and that after their behavior you can immediately see what they are for …

According to an expertZuzanna Celmer, psychotherapist

- There is a cult of steam in Poland. Already teenagers are, like a joke, harassed by aunts or uncles if they already have a boyfriend. In other countries, even in small towns such as the Czech Republic, Austria or Germany, no one is surprised thatwomen go to pubs themselves, have fun, but in our country it is not accepted, or even badly seen.

Single women sex - being "the other one"

This gives them regular sexual contact, but many admit that such a bed layout is not very interesting.

Ewa, 38 years old, journalist: - I have a friend from elementary school. He is married, but his wife is not a good friend of mine, so I feel less guilty about sleeping with her husband. We meet two, three, four times a month. I prepare something to eat, we spend the night together, we chat. Of course it's not enough for me, but it's still not the worst deal. He doesn't take this relationship as "my wife doesn't understand me" but as a complement to a friendship, so it's less humiliating for me. I can pretend it's not just a bed layout, but more than that.

I picked up someone in a bar once, but I felt bad afterwards. It's embarrassing and you never know who you will end up on. Besides, in Poland, when a woman sits alone in a bar, she is generally treated like a prostitute, exposed to rude remarks and aggression.

Single-woman sex - lonely meeting a gentleman

Single women are usually not invited to parties, because married friends are afraid of getting their husband back - and - one has to admit it - this fear is often justified.

Elżbieta, 42, a teacher in a town near Warsaw: - I divorced four years ago. I lost many friends then, because they were mainly my husband's friends. All my friends have families, they work, there is no time for contacts. I would love to have someone, I like sex and have always liked it. However, I am raising a 12-year-old son and I cannot afford anything that would harm me at work or put him to shame. A teacher in the provinces is especially “on the fork”, and besides, Poland is a terribly dirty country.

I will not go to the cafe myself, I will not invite anyone to my apartment either, because everyone here knows about everyone. Where should I meet someone? I cannot afford foreign trips. I was once in a sanatorium, which - I have the impression - serves not only to heal, but only to sexual contact. I also decided to do it, but it was only a one-time contact. He was a man 10 years older than me, kind and affectionate, but he never wrote or called. Today I have the impression that I will not be with anyone anymore and that nothing good awaits me in life.

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Category:

Psychology