Sex: where does the shame in bed come from?

Sex itself is embarrassing to us. Three-quarters of Polish couples make love when the lights are off, "God's way". We avoid any changes in coexistence and trying out new positions. Where do inhibitions in sex come from? What are Poles ashamed of in bed?

Sexintrigues and amazes. It is accompanied by "fireworks" and maximum sexual arousal - writes prof. David M. Buss, a psychologist at the University of Austin, Texas, in his famous book, The Evolution of Desire. How people get in pairs. " Okay, but what to do if, despite your best wishes, there are no fireworks?

The report "Attitudes of Polish women and Poles towards sexual life and contraception", prepared for Janssen Cilag by Millward Brown SMG / KRC, shows that although men feel lessshamebefore the talks about sex than their partners, for both, sex is not a pleasure, just like that. We are not able to enjoy the body, derive pleasure from being close. Sex is burdened with something every time. And this is the desire to get pregnant, fear because of it, betrayal, lack of love, hypocrisy. Too many blockages,complexesand unnecessary prejudices. Men are afraid of being ridiculed, so when sex with a regular partner becomes a routine, they look for fulfillment in Women dream of making love differently every day, but they are ashamed to talk about their desires to their partner, and when sex ceases to give any fun, they decide to satisfy themselves.

Shame interferes with trying new positions during sex

In Great Britain or America, striptease, erotic outfits, or making love in a public place would arouse an additional thrill in a man. But not in Poland. We still believe that a visit to a sex shop or sex other than the classic one is a far-reaching deviation. When it comes to diversifying sex, women are definitely more open to new things in this matter. Men tend to be overconfident and generally don't feel like it. They prefer delights served on a tray and pushed right under the nose. Imagination and attention to detail are not their strongest points.

Research shows that about 70 percent Polish couples adhere to the classical position. The next most popular position is the back and side position, i.e. he and she are on their side whilethe woman has her back to the man. We also have a doggie, of course, but it is relatively the least widespread. Interestingly, still around the eighteenth century, most of the items deviating from the classic to a minimal extent were considered deviations. This concerned, inter alia, of the aforementioned dog, for whom in France and Germany was … the death pen alty.

Shame during sex - cultural and religious prejudices

Of the world's "typical variations", one could mention anal and oral intercourse. According to Polish statistics, oral intercourse is practiced sporadically by about 30 percent. couples in Poland, and anal sex less than 7 percent. It is possible that apart from the cultural ones, also religious prejudices are responsible for this. Both oral and anal sex according to the Church is a sin. And since Poles belong to one of the most religious nations in Europe, if not in the world, it is not surprising … Until recently, similar taboos surrounded the clitoris. Although it is calculated that on average 80 percent. of women experience clitoral orgasm, some men still have no idea where this mysterious clitoris is located …

According to an expertMedard Lech, gynecologist, sexologist

In Janssen's research, around 30 percent randomly selected people refused to answer! Certainly it is about the "extreme", in which there could be both people for whom "all this is a sin" and people who are skilled and practically use Ars Amandi, but do not want to talk about it. From the point of view of a gynecologist, who enjoys the trust of his patients, I will say, however, that with these varieties in sexual life it is not so bad. Also the "macho" attitude (I know everything, I can do everything, and you lie quietly and you will find out that you will always have an orgasm with me) on the part of Polish men is an exaggeration.

How to get rid of the shame during sex?

Tracey Cox, an Australian specialist in sex and love, says that the most common mistake men make is that they are not too gentle, not paying the slightest attention to their body language, and if their partners try to learn something about them, they immediately take offense. Men think that if they had a lot of partners, they know everything about sex and women. And this is a problem for Australians, British and Poles alike. Recently, the book by Randi Foxx "Sex 101 items that will ignite the senses" was published on the Polish market. Despite the fact that to a large extent they are just old truths dressed in funny, but usually quite idiotic names, it is worth reaching for it. Perhaps it will turn out that "rocking horse", "sweet rejection", "bridge over the river of passion A" or "loose braid" will be what you decide to start diversifying yoursex life? Detailed instructions and a photo should be enough. At least in the beginning.