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My sister, with whom I am very close, has a problem with a lack of trust in men, which is why she cannot make a life for herself. Four years ago, she divorced her husband because he was abusing alcohol. Sometime after the divorce, she began dating a colleague from work, but after a year it turned out that he was cheating on her. Now I introduced her husband's friend, he is a good and responsible man, but she is afraid of going out with him. The sister claims that he is her type, but is afraid to get involved so as not to feel disappointed later. How can I help my sister? Will she always be alone?
What you write actually shows that you would love to support your sister in your "heart" difficulties. Two unsuccessful relationships actually do not have a positive effect on the condition of trust in a possible next partner, but it is worth considering whether it makes sense to blame the predecessors on the next man. Starting a relationship with such baggage does not make it any easier. The disappointment you write about is a factor in every sphere of life: relationships, career, and parenting. However, should we give up trying because of it, because it may be disappointing? When you want to support your sister, try to find out what she really needs right now. You may find that your willingness to listen to her or accompany her in the recovery process is more helpful than matchmaking at this stage. Perhaps the sister is not yet ready for another serious relationship. However, if she feels ready to enter into a deeper relationship, but the lack of trust does not allow her to fully enjoy it, I encourage you to consult a psychologist. A specialist will help you look at what has made it related to a particular type of men so far. It will also support you in rebuilding trust in others and yourself.
Remember that our expert's answer is informative and will not replace a visit to the doctor.
Patrycja Szeląg-JaroszPsychologist, coach, personal development trainer. She gained professional experience working in the field of psychological support, crisis intervention, professional activation and coaching.Specializes in the area of life coaching, supporting the client in improving the quality of life, strengthening self-esteem and active self-esteem, maintaining balancelife and effectively coping with the challenges of everyday life. She has been associated with non-governmental organizations in Warsaw since 2007, co-runs the Center for Personal Development and Psychological Services of the Compass
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