Should you evaluate yourself highly? Doesn't that conflict with being well mannered? But bragging is better than hiding your achievements. Nowadays, modesty is passé, you need to brag!

Many people believe that self-praise and highself-esteemwould be contrary to the moral norms in our culture. It is simply not appropriate to brag. On the other hand, we hear more and more often about the importance of self-esteem, self-appreciation, and awareness of your own merits. Do you know what yourself-esteem ?

Learn to praise yourself and receive compliments

The caution against pride and self-ex altation is misunderstood by some as prohibiting being confident, self-esteem, and being assertive. People who mistake pride for good self-esteem often fail to promote their accomplishments, even if it would do them good. In addition, as Poles, we have in our blood failure to admit to success, sometimes we are ashamed of it or do not want to talk about it. Such a phenomenon does not apply only to people who have achieved tangible success. Many blush when they receive a compliment or praise and simply don't know how to act when someone appreciates them.

Self-satisfaction helps in appreciating others

Meanwhile, one of the conditions of mental he alth seems to be seemingly contrary to the imperative of modesty. He althy people can take care of themselves, take care of their well-being, know their needs and try to satisfy them. They don't do it at the expense of other people or important life commitments, but they take an attitude that can be summed up in the belief: “I have the right to take care of myself. I have to take care of myself. If I don't, no one else will worry about my needs for me. I am responsible for myself. It's a he althy, mature attitude. Being a modest person does not exclude the ability to praise your achievements. Many psychologists are of the opinion that the actual shame towards compliments, hiding one's achievements is often much worse - it can be a symptom of either a pathological feeling of inferiority or unbridled pride!

A man with good self-esteem or a pride?

You can be a pride in two ways -some people openly indicate that they disregard other people, despise them or feel better than them. This directly implying that someone considers themselves a more valuable person than others is very poorly judged socially. For the most part, we strongly condemn feelings of superiority and contempt. But what is a person who experiences such feelings after all to do? Here is the second kind of pride - the proud sometimes tries to hide their sense of superiority, even from themselves! Psychologists call such a mechanism suppression or displacement from consciousness. When this mechanism is activated, the person is consciously convinced of a supernatural, false modesty. And because deep down the suppressed sense of superiority is still alive, any compliments or appreciation are perceived by people as a threat.

Therefore, self-appreciation is experienced as threatening, causing embarrassment, fear and shame. You really want to avoid compliments - the pleasure that comes from them is experienced as an expression of your own vanity. In addition, we are completely unable to deftly present our achievements ourselves. We also don't know how to pay compliments to others.

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Category:

Psychology