The outfit is like a visiting card. It can be a manifestation of a state of the soul or a momentary mood, a weapon in battle or a shield against the world. Take a look at what's in your closet and get to know yourself better. Think about it, maybe you would like to change something in your outfit and in… life.

I open the wardrobe … I stand to the side and look at its contents with the eye of an impartial observer. There is a gray shirt dress and a navy blue jacket, a pair of white shirts and soft, delicate sweaters. Lots of oldclothesthat I don't wear anymore and some new ones that I haven't worn yet (I don't know why). Hippie blouses and worn jeans hide between navy blue, gray and "polite" skirts. Dresses recently arrived. For example, the airy, oriental style, decorated with sequins, which I was wearing only once, although "lives" here for six months. What does my wardrobe show? Why do I not wear some things even though I like them, and others hang useless, even though I have not liked them for a long time? What does this diversity say about me? Maybe I have a mess in my soul … or maybe I just missstyle ? Should I enjoy it or worry about it? - You should definitely enjoy! - psychologist Hanna Wieloch calms down with a smile. - None of us are monolithic and there is no obligation to wear one uniform. It is important to what extent our style harmonizes with what is inside at the moment.

Outfit according to mood

If we have a lot of we alth and a lot is happening in our lives, a diverse style is consistent with it. The point is to dress according to the circumstances, but also in accordance with the current mood. During workshops on style, Hanna Wieloch and Dr. Bogna Szymkiewicz help women better understand themselves. By playing with the wardrobe, workshop participants have a chance to learn about their limitations and discover their strengths. How am I showing myself to the world? What pleases me in my own style and what hinders me? What would I like to change … in my life and inoutfit ? These are the questions that they are looking for answers to, trying to find the style that will best support the creative potential of a woman at a given moment in life. For this purpose, therapists use the methods of process-oriented psychology. By symbolic cleaning in the wardrobe, they reach their clients with their hidden problems and try to solve them with them.

-Each of us has an identity, that is, something that we consider to be "me". A woman thinks, for example, that her dominant role is that of a mother and that she should dress accordingly. Other parts of her personality, such as femininity, can be suppressed, explains Dr. Bogna Szymkiewicz. - You have to pull out the forgotten parts and put them together. We use a metaphor at work. We ask the ladies to imagine that they have several characters inside them and that each of them wants something different.

Important

Discovering yourself is a process

Process-oriented psychology is a therapeutic method initiated in the 1970s by the American psychologist Arnold Mindell. It is one of the humanistic therapies that focus on the possibility of changing behavior and rebuilding a sense of life satisfaction and fulfillment. Its goal is to integrate rejected aspects of personality and develop new ways of dealing with problems. Process-oriented psychologists use the client's imagination and creativity in therapy - e.g. drawing, sleeping, and body work.

The outfit says a lot about us

The dialogue starts: for example, one part of me says "you must wear comfortable shoes" and the other - "but I want to wear high heels!" The point is not for any of them to win, but about appreciating the different aspects of your “I” and giving yourself the right to diversity. Before this internal dialogue begins, however, the therapists ask you to perform a simple exercise called "Whose wardrobe?" The task is to stand aside and look at your clothes at a distance, like a complete stranger. - Who is the person who wears them? How do I imagine her? Where in life is this person? Explains Hanna Wieloch. - I look at what's in the wardrobe and what's missing. What does not suit me anymore, what I would like to get rid of, and what is really "mine". - Once one of the participants noticed that in her wardrobe hang mostly airy clothes, like for a fairy tale princess. And she continued: "This is a person who gets a lot from life, but does not create his own life." Another woman admitted: "The clothes in my wardrobe are for Cinderella, for someone who is supposed to look modest and serve others." And a very important question arises: do they only want to play such a role in life? We choose most of the clothes based on our instincts, patterns or patterns that are inherent in our subconsciousness. It is worth considering why we are attracted to these and not other things, and ask yourself, "Who really dresses me?" Maybe a partner, maybe my mother, or maybe some guard inside me who prevents me from reaching for the clothes I would like to wear.

- A lady, a professionally fulfilled person, in a high position, dressed like the Orphan Mary. At some point, she realized that behind this inner voice, limiting her in life, there was her stepmother, who brought her up, imposed such a style - recalls Hanna Wieloch.

Dress versus personality

There are many dependencies between the outfit and the personality. We use clothes to strengthen our good sides, communicate to the world who we are and what our humor is, but we often simply hide behind our clothes. If the wardrobe is dominated by voluminous sweatshirts and pulled-out sweaters, it may mean that their owner withdraws from life, suppresses some parts of her personality. Why is he doing this? - Usually between what is inside us and our clothes there is some kind of dialogue, some tension. During the workshops, we try to reach this tension. What I put on myself is the Jungian "persona", that is, the part of me that I want to show to the world. At the same time, if the world sees me this way, it will later become a confirmation that this is what I am. My style is beginning to define me not only for others, but also for me. It is very difficult to change it - explains Dr. Bogna Szymkiewicz. We always start changes with a revision of beliefs about ourselves. Hanna Wieloch and Dr. Bogna Szymkiewicz do this by playing with their imaginations. For example, they make you think about what is the most irritating about someone else's appearance. One woman once said that she doesn't like "those little girls with pink dresses and high heels, such smug Barbie dolls." When she began to analyze this feeling, it was irritating to her that you could be content at all. She was a person convinced that you should expect a lot from yourself and constantly punish yourself. A feeling of contentment for no reason was a great discovery for her. After the workshop, she did not change into pink clothes, but began to allow herself more freedom, both in life and in clothes.

This will be useful to you

Personal development workshops

Dr Bogna Szymkiewicz and Hanna Wieloch conducted their own workshops "Clean up in the wardrobe" at the Women's Place Foundation in Warsaw, which helped women discover their own style in clothes, and at the same time supported personal development using psychology and fashion on the other hand.

Make room for new outfits

Conscious inspection of the wardrobe will provide us with a lot of information. For example, we may discover that there are only things for a walk with the children. Elsewhere, only service suits hang. Let us ask ourselves, do we really want to limit our life to just one role? Oftenwe store clothes that we have "outgrown" of a long time ago, believing that we will return to "our" size. Or maybe it's better to get rid of them and work on accepting yourself in the new size? - We are making such a symbolic farewell to old things with our ladies - explains Dr. Bogna Szymkiewicz. - Please, imagine them to take them out of the wardrobe, look at them and decide whether they want to throw them away. Then we perform the ritual: we remember what good happened in our life when we wore these things, we thank them and say goodbye. Only now is it possible to start something new. How often do we store some clothes because of sentiment. They are holding us. Meanwhile, when we make space in life for the new, the new will come. The wardrobe is just a metaphor that easily triggers the imagination. Just like fairy tales. By the way … it is interesting that in the fairy tales the tailors and shoemakers represent the human ability to transform. They symbolize our potential for transformation. I look into my wardrobe once more. I already know what I'm going to part with for sure. You get more space right away. My eyes fall on the sequin dress again. It hangs tucked between a thick sweater and a navy blue jacket, as if waiting. It is like an intriguing question mark. Who knows … maybe I'll wear it tomorrow?

monthly "Zdrowie"

Category:

Psychology