Your sweet little toddler starts to "show his horns" around his second birthday? Such behavior has a name - a two-year-old rebellion. If he acknowledges each of your proposals or requests with a firm "no!", Does not tolerate bans, and when something goes wrong, explodes into anger, these are signs of the first rebellion. How to get through this difficult period?

A rebellious two-year-old child can upset even the most composed parent. Because when he reacts to some prohibition or order with hysteria, throws himself on the floor or bites, kicks, pulls the hair or pushes an adult with his fists, and at the same time screams out loud, the guardian's patience is put to a severe test. And it happens that such a situation repeats even several times a day! But why exactly is a 2-year-old so angry?

Reasons for the rebellion of the two-year-old

From the age of 1 to 2, there is a big leap in the child's physical development - he gets up on his feet, starts walking, and then explores his surroundings. This is the first step to becoming independent from your mother. Mobility makes a toddler feel that a lot depends on him, so he checks how far his strength is at every opportunity. He can move a chair to get on the windowsill, reach for a cup from the table top, open a drawer and empty its contents. At the same time, he constantly hears prohibitions from his parents (he is not aware that researching reality can be dangerous for him). And hence a rebellion arises in him - he opposes his parents' limitations and tries to show them: "I also have my opinion", "I have my emotions", "notice me".

The child manifests his anger and frustration in the way he can - he can, for example, scream, cry, beat the parent, because he cannot yet deal with the emotions that literally flood them. After all, he is furious with his parents and the whole world that he cannot do what he wants, that it is not as easy as he thought at the beginning. The child has the right to be angry. However, caregivers' job is to help them understand what they are feeling and teach them to deal with their emotions constructively. It's a long study (not even many adults can do it), and it starts around the 2nd birthday.

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The rebellion of a two-year-old is the beginning of learning to deal with emotions

Children 2-3 years old, under the influence of anger, can hit someone automatically, it happens even to older preschoolers. Schoolchildren already use other methods, they say, for example: "Stand back", "If you don't stop teasing me, I'll tell you". Only teenagers say like adults: "I'm going to strangle him in a moment," which does not mean that they will, but they are already more aware of their emotions and are able to control them. This process of learning to control emotions lasts until 13-14. years of age, i.e. 10-11 years. This is the higher function of the brain (the part responsible for emotional control develops many years on the basis of experience, most intensively in the 2nd-3rd year of life).

Ways to get angry - your own and your child's

When your rebellious toddler starts spitting or screaming, think about what's happening … to you. Usually, the parent starts to get angry himself, and thoughts like: "He's a shit, he's doing it to me again", "I'll show him, he won't rule me here", and sometimes also: "I'm already helpless", " But I found a kid, he looks like daddy. "

Such thoughts wind up a spiral of anger, so often the first thing the caregiver wants to do is pacify the child to calm down and let the adult get rid of internal discomfort. Hence, impulsive reactions can arise. However, this is not the way.

First:calm down and look at the situation from the child's perspective: "He's furious because we didn't go to the playground, but to the store." Do something that will silence you, e.g. breathe deeply, count to ten, otherwise you risk acting in a way that is harmful to the baby: yank or yell at him. This could trigger another wave of hysteria. In addition, you show him that you can beat someone in a moment of anger, and this is what you want to unlearn them.

Second:When you have cooled down, approach your baby and name his emotions: “I know you are getting angry. I didn't let you rummage around in my purse. You have reason to get upset. Get angry. I'm here". Offer him a safe way to express his emotions: let him stomp, squeeze and release his fists, tear a newspaper, scribble by page.

Third:Do not let the toddler hurt himself, e.g. by hitting his head against the wall, or by hitting someone, for example. Say, "I know you are angry. But you can't beat. Hold his hands or take a few steps back. Be there so that the child can experience these emotions with you and not feel that you are leaving them in a difficult situation.

Fourth:Once the emotions have subsided, hug the child (because they have de alt with the emotions). Before he gets back to playing, hold them down and say, for example, “I understand you're upset. But you were kicking me and that was wrong. Yesnot allowed to do. You can tell me you're angry. You can stomp or jump. One must not beat. In this way, you teach the toddler that feelings are natural, but you do not accept certain behaviors influenced by these emotions. It's part of the little man's socialization process.

You must do it

Two-year-old rebellion: everyday rules

  1. Reduce expectations. If a 2-year-old is hanging around eating or taking a long time to leave the house, be patient. Use strict prohibitions when, for example, he plays with cables, reaches for a knife from the table, runs out onto the road. Always explain why you forbid something.
  2. Give your child a choice, for example: "Do you want to wear a blouse with a car or a dinosaur?", "Are you going to eat vanilla or strawberry cheese?". Making decisions will give your toddler a lot of satisfaction and the feeling that you take his opinion into account. It will also limit protests.
  3. Criticize the behavior, not the child. When he misbehaves, say that you don't like his behavior. Never say, "You're being rude, you're bad" because it undermines his self-confidence.
  4. Instead of forbid, say what is allowed. For example, when a child paints on the wall with a crayon, give him a piece of paper, saying: “We draw on a piece of paper. You can draw a frog or a doggy. What do you prefer? ”
  5. Prevent a row. Remove dangerous items such as medicines from the child's sight and hands. When you go for a walk, make sure that you are refreshed and full, because fatigue and hunger increase tantrums. Pre-advise about the end of the game - instead of: "We are finishing watching a fairy tale, time for a bath", say: "You can watch TV for a few more minutes and then we go to take a bath."
  6. Be consistent. If you do not agree to something, do not withdraw the bans, even when the child's hysteria is at its peak. If you give in to him at least once, he will find out that screaming or crying can force you to something, and he will start checking it in different situations.
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