Bulimiczki are masters of camouflage. Often no one knows about their illness, the drama takes place in great solitude. For people in the grip of wolf hunger, Anna Gruszczyńska gives an example and hope that it is possible to overcome the disease and emerge stronger from it. Read the interview with Wilczo Głodna and find out how she coped with bulimia.
Ania struggled with bulimia day after day for 15 years. For several years her "wolf" has been sleeping. Everything that she experienced, how she copes with the disease, what tricks she uses to overcome the attack, she shares on her blog www.wilczoglodna.pl, as well as in the book "Wolf's Hungry - how to get out of compulsive eating and not go crazy" . She has also written a book on he althy eating habits, The Fun Diet. Every day, she receives up to 100 messages from her readers about how they are making progress in the fight against the disease, but also reads stories in which she finds herself from years ago, when her life revolved around eating and vomiting, a huge feeling of guilt and the confidence that she did. it will always be …
Only teenagers do not suffer from bulimia, as is commonly believed
Bulimia can affect everyone: young mothers, mature women, men of all ages. When Ania sees that a very slim girl eats a staggering amount, and also drinks beer after a beer and is not drunk, she knows that she is 90% addicted. He doesn't believe in fairy tales about exceptionally good metabolism. The 31-year-old thinks that bulimia is like alcohol: you can never say that you are he althy, a moment of breakdown is enough to return to the vicious circle that makes life hard to bear. - For two years I have been a "pure" bulimic, that is, one who does not vomit and eats normally. I remember that as a 13-year-old I got into complexes, seeing models on the covers of magazines, I felt so unattractive, I did not fit into any canons of beauty. Even though I was not fat, this was how I perceived myself - recalls Anna. - At that time, I noticed that one of my high school friends found a way to be slim: even though she was overeating, she was not gaining more kilos. I tried to throw up like she did and couldn't get over it anymore, it was stronger than me. Maybe it is also genetic, to some extent, because in my family there were and are people who ate problems.
ImportantBulimics areamong us
Bulimia consists in periodic bouts of gluttony (even a dozen or so a day) and a complete lack of control over the amount of food consumed. Sufferers of this ailment cannot control their appetite and consume large portions of food, which they then return. When it takes too long, it can lead to dehydration, avitaminosis, heart problems, gum and dental disease, muscle weakness, and abnormal bowel and kidney function. Some bulimics also use diuretics and laxatives.It is worth knowing that the percentage of people with this disorder is estimated at 2-6% of the population, which gives approx. sick in Poland!
At first, Ania felt guilty that she ate, for example, too much cake or bread, then she had typical attacks of wolf hunger that she could not control at all
She didn't do anything about it for seven years, she was actually resigned that it would always be like that. In the worst period, she vomited up to 10 times a day. She could eat lunch or dinner that a normal person would last for at least two days. And then she served herself 2 kilos of cookies for dessert and devoured them as if she hadn't eaten anything for a long time. - But it's not life, it's a torment - he admits and explains that the bulimic knows that he can eat 100 cream cakes or donuts, because he will return them anyway and there will be no consequences. - It's such an illusory feeling of power and impunity. After the hunger pangs, I felt disgusted and disgusted with myself. I had the feeling that I was the most horrible person in the world because I couldn't control it, I was completely lost.
She knew that her relatives are broken, because although they want to help her, they cannot. He remembers the pain in the eyes of the boy at the time and the helplessness of his parents to this day.
The Ministry of He alth still believes that bulimia is a type of mental disorder
However, the world has not thought for a long time that it is a niche disease that should be treated pharmacologically. Anna is working on establishing one day of the year as World Anti-Bulimia Day, especially as World Anorexia Day is already being celebrated on May 6. He also struggles to separate the two diseases from each other: it's like treating tuberculosis and bronchitis in the same way just because both are lung diseases. - I am planning to establish a foundation, then I could act as a legal entity, not as a girl out of nowhere. My dream is to create a support system that includes qualified doctors. Just like alcoholics do, there are counseling centers that can be consulted at any stage of the disease. Currently, the he althcare system is mostly difficult to access and it is actually a lottery: either you will find a good doctor,or not. Plus many months of queues. I was in many therapies, each of the doctors wondered where my condition came from, but he did not know how to help me. The internist prescribed electrolytes to replenish the deficiencies in the body; how many psychologists there were, I can't even count. The biggest trauma was visiting a psychiatrist. The doctor asked me how many times a day I vomit. I replied ten. The nurses who were also in the office gave me a look of contempt, as if I were at least some criminal. Eventually I was given drugs to reduce appetite - it's like giving an alcoholic a drug to reduce thirst - and the advice that if I ever feel like throwing up again, I should drink a glass of lemon water. Such "brilliant" advice was to solve all problems.
Ania healed herself as an adult woman
It took her half her life to come to this. She started reading psychology books, especially about cognitive behavioral therapy, and she became interested in sports and dietetics. She learned simple dependencies: if you eat something containing simple sugars, your blood sugar level jumps and you have hunger pangs. It's pure biochemistry. - On the blog, I write about various methods of cheating the disease. I wish someone had told me that when I was 16. To make me aware of what to do when an attack occurs. I am giving these simple advice to others now, e.g. be aware of what you are feeling, believe it will be over soon, you do not have to react to this compulsive urge to eat. Wait. Take a few breaths from your diaphragm. It is like a wave: it has its peak, but it will subside in a moment - says Anna and gives another example: if you feel that the attack of wolf hunger is approaching, leave the house immediately. Whatever the case, just get dressed and leave without taking your wallet with you. If you take money from home, you will just have enough food in the store. Ania emphasizes that, above all, you need motivation, readiness to be prepared for both failures and success in boxing with the enemy. Recovering from this disease is a process, nothing happens overnight.
She admits that what happened more than four years ago was very important: she fell in love
And after a few weeks of acquaintance, she left for Belgium, to her beloved's homeland. She had a company in Poland that produced jewelery. There she started all over again. - I started with cleaning up, because what should I do if I don't know the language? I couldn't even be a bartender. I didn't know anyone there except my Toon, and various cultural differences emerged in our life together - he recalls. Her man told her not to give up, he expected her to keep going forward.Although it was not easy, after some time she saw that it was working: now she can communicate in English or Dutch without any problems. - I wasted 14 years of my life, I did not finish anything: studies - neither one nor the other, I put a strain on my he alth.
I vomited a lot of money
It's safe to say that I was vegetating - without a sense of purpose, without a compass. Each step pushed me deeper into the muck of hopelessness and I had no idea how to get out of it. Everything was so barren and pointless. But getting out of bulimia gave me a lot: strength, courage, the feeling that I am able to help someone, a sense of mission. Better quality of life. I eat regularly at regular intervals. In difficult moments, when I am afraid or hesitate, I imagine what an old lady Anne would think looking at this day. Was it worth the fear? After all, there is only one life.
Ania has found her second half and is happy. However, he lives with the awareness that he must maintain abstinence, that is - as he writes on the blog: "I eat three meals a day, at (rather) fixed times, not having anything in between, and I avoid my detonators."
What do I want to remember when I get old? Does today's fear make sense in the face of death? I know that I will have to watch out for the rest of my life. Anyway, I always have the word "watch out" in the back of my head. Bulimia can be put to sleep, but you have to reckon with the fact that it is there and you cannot forget about it. I choose food that is he althy for me, bearing in mind that I have to pay special attention to it. I treat myself like a friend - says Wolf Hungry with a smile and adds that she is glad that she could do something good out of her own tragedy: not only help others, but also appreciate life, be in harmony with herself.
Worth reading:
Anna Gruszczyńska is the author of several books. The latest publication is the "This is not a diet" guide - a book on how to avoid eating disorders. At first glance, it looks like another tutorial for teens: how to lose weight, how not to gain weight, and so on. In fact, however, I am telling you about how to control not only your weight, but most of all your life. Whoever has control over him, who has managed to develop positive habits will achieve whatever he desires, avoid getting into serious trouble - including eating.
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